No contact sucks, I lost my girlfriend for good because of it!

So, I followed the "No contact" rule, anticipating that eventually my girlfriend will start to feel "fear of lose" and eventually will come back or at least make a contact with me. Instead - I got...a pregnant X-gf !

So, as I posted here before she broke up with me while she on long vacation in her country. I also went abroad during this time, we were not in touch for 3 weeks. Eventually I arrived to airport to meet her, naively thinking she will be nicely surprised. Instead I saw her together with her X from last long (3 years) relationship. He was near her during this time and she just felt directly into his arms (don’t want to say di..ck)...After few days when I have eventually had a chance to talk with her on the phone - she was crying saying me she is very confused, don’t understand how its happened and (still) don't know what to do (she is pregnant from him now - did I mention this ? and still does not what to do ?!). So I said to her "Seems to me honey, you already decided"...We talked may be 5 mins. She told me she will call me some other day and indeed she called but I didn’t answer and since then (already a week) she didn't call, nor SMS, nothing...

I know what most of you will say "Leave the bitch"..and probably you right, but what hurt me so much that we never had a chance to talk. Also I think we all do mistakes and if she can give me some reasonable explanation I can accept it. I think at least I deserve an explanation what happened (she mentioned once that her family pushed her to come back to him). And I do believe deep inside her she is sorry for what happen and would like to turn the wheel back. So what should I do ? I loved her very much - and if it was up to me, I would give her a second chance, but currently I am not sure if she wants it. May be she just ashamed (she mentioned it) and / or afraid to approach me thinking that she will do me better if just let me go. But I still constantly think about her. I have to mention that I was so angry and felt so desperate about what happen that I slept with two girls during last week..I never saw or will see them again, but I was so angry at her that she even doesn't want to explain me what happened during this time. She always swear to me (almost on the bible) that she and her X are completely over and there is no way back...I have never jealous or was clingy. But apparently she was wrong. I have a feeling that he manipulated her when he felt she was "lonely" _ family pressure. So he did what he had to do. But I really didn't expect it from her. She was always told me that "I am her love of a life" and all this stuff...we were talking about getting marry one day...On the one hand I really angry at her and feel cheated, on the other hand I still love her and want to hug her. What should I do ?

Also she “accused” me in what happen – saying that I so easily accepted her suggestion to have a break and then going to “No contact” mode – she felt “pushed” by me. Does she has a point ? May be.I


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Most Helpful Girl

  • To add to what chuck said.. her ex she met at the airport there.. the father of her BABY... is never- EVER going to be out of her life for good now.. because she has a new life from him growing inside her that will be with her the rest of her life.

    So IF you by some chance did take her back, odds are good you'd always be wondering what's going on if she's late or something, or wondering if this bond of a child between her and this guy will draw them back together.

    She doesn't have a point at all. Normally I'm the first one to side with a woman and crap on the man. But in this case, it was only 3 weeks. You didn't PUSH her to do anything. She was free to make her own choices and follow her own heart. She pushed -herself.-

    Stay with the angry feelings. I wouldn't take her back.

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    • When you choose no contact - that means NO CONTACT and it is not a green light for you to play games with this ex. I agree that you didn't push her to do anything. She had her own mind. The relationship with this woman had become toxic. Learn from it - move on and forget it. She has more problems than any one person needs. Why buy into the drama?

    • Thanks for fast and honest answer. During our short conversation she did mention abortion. I know for sure she is regretting about what happened. (May be it's just wishful thinking thought :) )...Regadring making choice - I do agree, it was her choice. But we all do mistake, right ? If we want to be forgiven, we also need to learn to forgive. And I really ready talk and try to work this out, but don't know how even start. Chasing her obviously will not help...

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • OUCH! I'm sorry...ya, I think the NO COntact rule works best for women not contacting MEN...but men should ALWAYS contact women when theyre interested...

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What Guys Said 1

  • Regardless of the outcome, the no contact rule always works. If it only takes 3 weeks of not contacting your ex to get with someone else and start moving on the why would you want to be with that person?

    If you truly love someone and want to spend your life together then time apart should do nothing for those feelings.

    Its never good to feel rejected and we all have to go through it at some point.

    Your going to think about her all the time and its only natural. I've only been split up with my ex of 2 years for 2 months and not a day goes by that I don't think about her and miss her. It gets a tiny bit easier every day but ocasionally I relapse and get really depressed.

    I do think you need to get an honest answer out of her thou. She owes you that much at least.

    Dont ask about what happened in those 3 weeks, just ask her how she feels about you and the relationship. Once you have an answer you won't have to run senarios in your head about what is going on. either she'll tell you she wants to be with you and you can start working on getting your relationship back on track or she'll tell you she doesn't want to be with you and you start to get over it.

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    • Thanks for your response. I want to meet and talk with her, not to try to convince her to get back (I already told her that Iam happy for her if this wtshe wanted), but at least to to put a DOT on this relationship. We never talked. She left as my girlfriend and back pregnant. It's crazy ! Still keep saying that I am in her heart (even when she was fu.king with him). She not contacting me (may be she truly beleive that by this she makes me a favor), but actually it hurts even more. What should I do ?

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