I'm am completely honest, he will know exactly why it went wrong from my perspective. I think that's the fair thing to do. If he wants to make it right then he has that opportunity, if not, then I guess we part ways for good.
That being said, I am constantly refining myself when faced with criticism. It's not changing for someone else, it's changing because he pointed out things that he found were irritating and holding me back and I changed them. There are also some things I will always hold onto.
My last boyfriend despised feminists with a passion but I don't feel he really understands that feminists aren't all the same. I refuse to join his camp and hate on people for stereotypes. I did however meet him halfway on a lot of topics and changed a lot of my behavior, I became braver person because of him as well.
Anyway I left the door open in the very remote possibility he wants to see my point of view.
There is no gentle way to end things. It usually is hard for at least one person in the relationship. I think the best way to do that is to be very honest about your feelings and what is going on in your mind. If you feel like the relationship is going nowhere, tell the other person as honestly as you can. They deserve that. Also, this gives closure to that person. Very often, while ending the relationship, we try to be all like, "its not about you, its all me. You are perfect." While all this is good to hear, but at the moment of a break up, you dont want to give hope to a person. You want them to know for sure its over and for that to happen, they need closure, they deserve it. So, in my opinion, while breaking up tell them the whole truth about what happened, even if that ll break their heart. Its better to break their heart than let them have hope of a possible patch up.
Doesn't really matter what you say... as long as you don't blame, and as long as you allow time to talk and hash things out. Doesn't mean you need to get back with together with them, just means that you love hem enough and respect your time together to allow them to have closure and understand why and all the reasons in a very kind and caring way, so that they can move on (so you both can move on). It's a very kind gesture in my opinion since these situations aren't always expected, and isn't anyone's fault at times
Everyone can better relate and empathize with others, when you are genuine and honest how you feel. What people worry about, or what others may feel sad about hearing, is when they feel inadequate, not good enough, that something is wrong with them. So, when you express how you feel with such honesty, make it about you, what you are dealing with, how you feel about your own mood and goals...(I often don’t date or get into romantic relationships because I don’t feel like I can offer all of myself, that I’m going through something, that I need to focus on myself, so I can offer all of myself soon. I think it’s not cliche, or dishonest, to say “it’s about me not you” so long as you explain yourself
The best way to end a relationship is to be upfront about it. Don't prolong the problems by ghosting or dodging in hopes that they lose feelings for you. Simply tell them that you are no longer interested in the relationship and give a definite reason why.
At the very least that person won't have to wonder why you broke up with them. If they promise to change that aspect about themselves it's up to you if you want to give them a second chance. If not, say that you dont want to wait for that change and that you've made up your mind.
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Asker
+1 y
Exactly. But once I told a guy upfront I did not want an relationship. He kept ignoring what I told him. In the end I had to not say it kindly anymore, as he think I am easy to manipulate. Then I said it more harsh then he got the message
I know Exactly what you're talking about I just went through that with a girl After 3rd direct time telling her I'm not interest in a relationship i told her my heart was stole by another girl and sent her a name from some one out of state lol. She sent me devil faces and got mad it sucks !
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Asker
+1 y
That would for it lol. Finally she got the message
Breaking up gently would be meeting with him and talking then breaking up. And give him a last hug. Or write a letter, handwritten. The worst way is Text via phone. And next time dont let it go so long. You can ask about the future on the 2 Date. What he will do in the future. Etc.
This is nothing new just be real and straight up tell them your not feeling it and they are not the ones who caused it. Your heart doesn't glow with theirs and you want somebody that will. To be honest everybody reacts to something different when it comes to relationship so just be forward and be you👍
And you know what. I'm in this situation right now. I wanna break with my girlfriend cause I don't see a feature with her. I want a family and she.. I don't know what she wants. And I know I wouldn't like her to be the mother of my children. The problem is that we live together.
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Asker
+1 y
Yeah that's a tricky one, as you live together. Just tell her what you just said, minus the bit that you don't want her to be the mother of your children. Can you guys come to arrangement about the living situation. A house? An apartment? Renting? Brought?
I know it's not really helpful but my opinion In this case, if that person is still into/loves you, there's no difference if u hit them with a truck or bread. It hurts the same
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
U can tell them that it is not the direction u r looking for and it's tough to pretend that u enjoy it.
U have tried too hard to stay but it makes u different person who u r not. And u can't be untruthful to him and urself. So u should move on from this to make both happy. Now u might think it as a rash decision but slowly u will understand
I'd say try to be honest and sincere. Explain your reasoning, but be gentle. Something like this could be very hard to comprehend and take in emotionally. This, of course, depends on the situation.
It was nice being with you we spent a very good time together you are a memory in my life that I won't forget you've always been here with me and for me but sadly we can't be with each other more than that as we can't be in the future together
Sometimes being raw is the best way to go would you say you're not feeling it and that you're not compatible that way you're not wasting your time and do the other party the same
Tell them the truth but don't be too harsh about it, tell them what's bothering you but dampen it abit and never be friends with an ex, it's just not healthy as it can put you through very strong emotional pain.
I think its important to try to remain friendly and positive. Wishing each other well
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
There isn't really a nice way to put it. If he wants a future then it's going to be painful for him regardless of how you say it. I'd recommend that you do it in person, not over a text or a phone call.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
It's been fun, but, I honestly don't see this going anywhere.
That's what they need to HEAR, it's up to them how they handle it
Say exactly that, be honest. The longer someone is led on the harder it will be for both people... as in, harder to leave for the one who wants to and itll be harder for the one who was left to get over it.
Straight forward and concise. I am as insulted by people putting effort into not hurting my feelings as I am by people putting effort into hurting my feelings as much as possible. Mainly because those efforts take up more time and there's not much I can't stand more than people wasting my time.
That is good though as being straight forward they will get the message. My first attempt the kind way does not work and they still pursue me. Then after I be firm they get the message
What do you mean? I told him upfront I did not want a relationship, but he ignored me. After telling him gently, I had to be blunt as he was showing some obsession.
He was just desperate for a girlfriend I think, I told my friend she said to run away. He also lied he had a learning disability. But I found out it was a lie
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