Two ways to look at it.
First is that you are voluntarily introducing doubt into the relationship by spending time with other men. Trust is the single most important component of any relationship and doubt is corrosive. You can call them friends... but we all know how it goes. Feelings develop and friends become more... it happens all the time. Men and women are also scientifically more attracted to people who are "taken" simply because they see that other people esteem them high enough to be with... so don't be shocked when these "just friends" guys surprise you by making a move one of these days.
Another way to look at it which is also true is that your boyfriend is insecure, but you're not helping him much with that are you? He should be confident enough in himself and his own self-worth to trust you and to understand that if it doesn't work out with you there is someone better out there anyway. Should the worst come and you bail... his perspective should be, "oh well, your loss" but he's not that confident in himself.
So you could reassure him more and home he gets over his trust and self confidence issues (not likely)... don't cut off your "friends" completely but spend more time with your boyfriend and less time with your friends who are boys. If your preference is otherwise, maybe a breakup is for the best.
I think this is unfair of him, but if keeping him is really much more important than your guy friends (something only you can decide), maybe you can offer to him that you won't be friends with these guys anymore. I don't recommend this though.
I once had a new girlfriend insist that I give up all of my female friends (seven of them- and all had friendzoned me, so they were not even potential rivals to her), and although we were together for two years and I had a good time with her, I regret doing that and wish I had gotten a different girlfriend instead.
What even? Like first of all, there is nothing wrong with having a lot of guy friends. That's just how your circumstances came to be and that's it. Nothing else. And that the whole thing is purely platonic. (And omg, the advise that some guys have given on this question is like some next level shit. Not all, but a few.) And now, back to your boyfriend, tell him to god damn freaking grow up. Are you seeing anyone but him? No, right? He has no proof? None at all? Then why would he be thinking about it? If I had a boyfriend who had a lot of female friends then I would be like "okay". Cause we have something known as trust. Out of everyone he picked me. That's the logic that you ought to apply to him. Out of everyone you picked him. And be honest with him. Tell him that they are all friends and and even if they have expressed interest ( only if they have) then you've friend zoned them. He has to trust you. That's the only way relationships work.
I feel like it depends on how you interact with your frineds. There come a point in a relationship that even if you dont completely give up or abandon your friends of the opposite sex, your interactions with them are different because you are in a committed realtionship. like you dont need to be texting them opr hanging with them all the time necessarily because you have a boyfriend. but you dont have to give them up completely either. but thats just the nature of beingin and out of relationships. its called being mature and adjusting your life to the circumstances your in. I would just talk to your boyf both of you make some compromises set some ground rules and you should be golden
This is very true. I rarely hang out one on one with my guy friends who are in relationships. When I hang out with them it's usually with our whole group and/or their partner as well.
You have to pick one tbh... my boyfriend became my bestfriend before we started dating.. honestly when we were bestfriends I told him if we date other people we wouldn't be bestfriends anymore cuz it doesn't work that way. Your partner should be your bestfriend. Sis, I know it's hard But your male bestfriends should understand and try to put yourself in his shoes. What if he has too many female bestfriends? Wouldn't it hurt you if you guys argue, he'd run to them? Always try to look at the situation in your partner's point of view to know what he may be feeling.
‘Thinking’ he is trying to manipulate you doll! Telling him to go jump he doesn’t control you and you are allowed to be friends with whomever you choose. Your not doing anything wrong and do not let him make you feel otherwise.
If you do this early on in your life you are setting yourself up for a very scary relationship / a controlling g relationship that I can tell you, you won’t be happy in.
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He is jealous but he may see something you don't. Men can easily see another man's target and he may think he has competition and since you're friends he cannot lay his claim properly.
Again you may be OK for now but you may have another party that would work to undermine your relationship so he can take you from your current boyfriend.
Discuss it, gently find out what's the real motive. Assuming he is not dealing with some issue with feeling manly he may think your friends are a direct threat to him.
There is nothing wrong having a lot of guy friends.
But there is a possibility that he got jealous because of your actions towards your guy friends or they other way around. There should always be a limitation of your closeness to other guys, in my opinion, especially now that you're in a relationship. Your guy friends should respect that relationship.
If you assured him enough, he will not feel insecure about your relationship.
You can think it this way, how would you feel if your boyfriend has a lot of girl friends? Think of it thoroughly. It's your choice.
I'm afraid I'm afraid that your your boyfriend leaving you is not the main issue at hand because I believe that you having so many guy friends there is a route to that problem that is way beyond your boyfriend leaving you I believe you are constantly seeking affection or affirmation or constantly seeking approval from males if that be the case then you shouldn't be with anyone. Because you're constantly meeting that attention so ultimately you have to decide whether you need the attention from several men or if you love that man that you're with and can live with only his attention do you want to be noticed or either for notoriety please feel free to hit me back I would really love to know what you thought of my reaction
He knows that any male friends you have at that age likely want more than that. At that age most of my female friends I wanted to bone. He knows how guys think. He knows if given the opportunity they would pounce. He probably is insecure about that. You both have a lot of mental developing to do. You shouldn't worry about it too much. Focus on school, friends, and having fun.
Having a lot of male friends may not be the issues it is most likely interactions he may have an issue with? Have you asked him if any particular friend or situation has made him feel uncomfortable? If not and it's just because you have a lot of guy friends then he must have some deep set jealousy issues that he either has to work through or he isn't worth your time.
Well that sounds to me like your garbage is about to take itself out to the dumpster for you.
Don't date men that get jealous of your male friends.
That is an insecure man and he can't do you right until he goes off and deals with his own shit. You may as well move on.
there' solutions but you need to talk with him as to what/why/how.
In essence, you need to build and maintain trust. He should always be with you, when you communicate you prioritize him and lift him up. you are no longer physical and chummy with those guys and you protect your boyfriend's feelings and honor any wounds he has so as to ensure he feels safe in relationship.
That's just stupid. He should learn to trust you more and not be easily jealous. My suggestion is that you address this as soon as possible, before it becomes a bigger problem. Trust me, it's a slippery slope and it won't take long before he forbids you from talking to any males.
I mean if this is something that bothers him you should try to make an effort and don't talk to as many guys. Not every guy needs to be your friend. If he gives you a chance prove you're willing to change if he doesn't care to give you another chance move on you're just wasting your time.
Talk to your boyfriend, help him understand that they are just friends. I'm guessing he is jealous because he really likes you, which is great. Tell him how much he means to you. Boys are often insecure with girls, hence the jealousy. Communication is key to your problem. Wish you all the best.
My best friend is a girl and has been since I was 4. One of my other female friends has been there for me since elementary school. I have had girls I dated pull that threat on me. It is simple. I am not ditching lifelong friends for anyone, especially someone who is trying to manipulate me.
Some guys see a girl with many guy friends as attention-seeking, and therefore a risk to getting cheated on. Your best bet is to tell him those are your friends, but that's all they'll ever be. Tell him you chose him and only care for him. If he's still a tool about it then dump him, he's trying to change you and not learning to appreciate you
The only thing that helps is proper communication, if you feel something that bugs you in a relationship you should probably talk to the person that is the best advice I can give you. And talking to him would introduce to other things as well that might or may not be truer, certain misconceptions and misunderstandings can be cleared as well🙂.
I hope this helps, have a lovely day.
Well have you talked to him about it, have you asked h8m why he us uncomfortable? To be honest most men tend to avoid girls with tons of guy friends because they see them as competition. Additionally are you spending more time with them than him? If so that's another issue.
You're being selfish and disrespecting him. I'm sure he has brought it up to you at least once, but you have ignored his concerns. So now he has determined that you are not a good girlfriend because you don't care about his feelings and you only care about yourself.
Well if he is so shallow that he can't believe guys can't be friends with girls and vice versa. Then you probably wouldn't want to be serious with him. He obviously has thought about having sex with other girls and maybe has even cheated on you already.
Let him know how much you love him. He probably he's some self confidence issues so compare him to them from time to time over some incidents to show him how better he is than them. I know its below the belt for your friends but it ould boost his self confodence.
He's showing you his true colors
If he cannot trust you with your platonic guy friends than he does not love you.
P. S., past betrayals should never be used as an execuse for mistrust with a new relationship.
You're 13... he doesn't matter. Don't worry about relationships by the way. You have a whole life ahead of you to worry about guys I promise. He doesn't sound worth it anyways so you shouldn't care if he wants to be with you or not
Perhaps He Would Like To Experiment With More Girlfriends in Your Life. You May Find Yourself Opening Up More Experiences RelaxYourself Box Breathing Anxiety can be bad for health. I would Like To See you Prosper. Perhaps I Can Become Another Guy Friend ToHelp You In your Journey. Perhaps He Could Become Jealous But He May Find ReasonTo Relax When He Knows How Good A Team We Could Make Together ForYour Mental Health
I know it sucks but let him. Why would you want to be with someone who can't trust you? He's too insecure, even if you did stay together this relationship wouldn't be a healthy one.
Have you dated any of them before?
Do you hug them?
Do you hang out with them one on one?
Are any of them new friends since you had your boyfriend?
If yes to any of those, then he has a valid reason to end the relationship.
He is doing you a favour. You don't need insecure men in your life.
You obviously don't like him that much. You're not willing to give him more time than your friends. He might as well just be a friend with benefits!
He is right. Men and women can never be friends. Even if you see those guys as only friends, which I doubt, they most certainly want to fuck you and they masturbate thinking about you at least once per day. Grow up, and end these "friendships" if you ever want a serious boyfriend
It's okay you're only 13 anyway. Boyfriends are useless until you're 18.
Lol that's very not true! My aunt found her husband at 14. They've now been married 23 years.
That’s extremely rare.
@thittiana definitely not what I was thinking but thanks for proving that teenage girls have the mental capacity of a potato and shouldn’t be thinking about getting into relationships his early on.
Relationships at that age don’t last and instead bring heartbreak which changes your views on life and yourself in a time when you’re still developing. You’re still children, who aren’t prepared to make decisions that will impact the rest of your life. This girl shouldn’t have to choose between pleasing some boy or keeping her friends. She should be free to do what she wants and not sacrifice her life for something that will not last.
Sorry, my non-native English mind automatically assumes they’re the same.
You're better off without him, that kind of jealousy is unattractive and destructive in a relationship.
He’s insecure.
If I were you I’d be happy that he broke up with me. I don’t need jealous insecure bitches in my life
That's childish. That's what I think. But you can try assure him that nothing is happening between you and your guy friends.
He's obviously insecure or is a control freak. Either way, your relationship isn't going to be a happy one
If you're any bit attractive, then ALL of your straight guy friends are trying to fuck you. If you don't believe me, ask any one of them on a date as a test.
He sees something you don't. He sees you hanging out with a bunch of possible replacements for him. This makes him feel expendable so he wants to move on to where he is needed and valued.
Straight opposite sex people can't just be normal friends. One always likes the other.
That's a lie
You might have to let him go. If he is bothered by THIS, then what will it be next?
You can do this and see their reaction.
Even though you don't want this, break up with him before he does with you
That's his loss he is missing out on something great
Its a huge red flag if he's forcing you to give up your friends to be with him
Have sex with a your guy best friends to prove to him that it's only physical and he's completely husband material for putting up with you
Introduce these friends of yours to him for first. If you have already, try to convince him that you only want him, these are just friends and bla bla. If he doesn't understand tell him to fuck off. Friends are more important that relations.
Honestly some guys just have a jealous nature but there isn't much you can do if he's just being a dick
If he is, let him. But just think if you in his place. It can be nightmare for him, does shows he cares around you and fear of losing you. Upto you
Lol at all the female answers.
It may not be that you have a lot of male friends. It's probably how you interact with them.
I second this
Not saying its a good or bad thing but turn the tables around if ur boyfriend had a lot of friends that were females and did the same things u are how would u feel and honestly
What help do you need? Kicking him to the curb? He's insecure dump his ass and find a real guy
He might think there's something going on between y'all or could be later on down the road.
He's just overlyjealous and controlling. Id break up with him honestly
Let it go and get a new boyfriend one that isn't jealous of your guy friends
He has trust issues, if you didn't give him a reason to distrust you, then this is emotional abuse, making you chose between friends and him.
He thinks ur a thottie. I get some girls are different but some girls who only hang with dudes come across as attention seeking hoes. Soz
What would he expect you to do if you were bisexual?
You're 13. You have your entire life ahead of you. Cut him loose
he's obviously not secure with himself. if he's not then he dosent love himself therefore can't love you
I know you like him, but if he can't trust you, it's pointless.
this is why I don't get into relationship with girls who have lot of guy friends
If you do break up, what are the chances you end up doing one of these friends?
Distance yourself from your friends because I guarantee if u were in the same spot as him u would want the same thing
If you are hanging out with your male friends too often, then its a problem. If you aren't, then he's insecure and did you a favor.
Is good to have many friends, but you need to spend more time with him
Hate to say it, but your boyfriend is making the right decision
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