Should I give my binge drinking boyfriend one more chance?

[Anonymous]

I've been going out with my boyfriend for just about a year now. Everything is great, and I love him to death, but about once every month he gets blackout drunk, passes out and doesn't follow through on plans he's made. The latest episode was just last night, he was out all day drinking with his rugby buddies, and was suppose to meet me at our friends house for a Halloween party that we've been talking about for months. He passed out at his house and never made it to the party. It was embarrassing all night to listen to everyone talk about how unreliable he is. Everyone seems to think he's a mess, and it sucks to be let down like this every so often. I've completely lost all trust in him, and hate myself for letting my mood rely so much on one guy. I love him, and he really is great, and when he's not getting so drunk everything is awesome and enjoyable. He only drinks on weekends, and even then he's responsible most of the time, but its always in the back of my mind that he could get out of hand again. This morning I told him that I thought it would be best not to see or talk to him for awhile, and that I wasn't so sure how we we're gonna work out. He's begged me for 1 more chance, (again) and promises not to get so drunk. I love him, and we have talked about a future together, but I can't take his binge drinking once a month. Am I overreacting about his 1 flaw that only happens once a month or so? Should I try and trust him once more, and give him a chance or what?

[spectacularcat]

WELL DEAR I HAD RED UR CASE AND WHAT I THINK IS THAT UR GUY IS RELIABLE AND WON'T LEAVE You IN SIMPLE HE REALLY LOVES You ALOT. BUT AS UR CASE IS I GUESS You MAY PUT A CONDITION THAT THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP RELATION WITH ME IS TO GET RID OF SEVERE DRINKING AND IF You DONT I AM NOT TALKING OR KEEPING RELATION WITH You I GUESS THE NEXT TIME HE DO THE SAME THING You STOP TALKING AND DONT MEET HIM AND WHEN HE WOULD ASK FOR THE REASON THEN You START A LONG LECTURE OF HIS MISBEHAVIOR AND INCIDENCE THAT HAD HAPPENED IN PAST AND JUST SAY TO HIM THAT HE HAD TO CHOOSE ONE FROM You AND DRINKING. IF HE REALLY LOVES You HE WILL DEFINITELY PROMISE AND STOP DRINKING OTHERWISE HE DON'T REALLY LOVE You AND IS JUST FLIRTING WITH You AND FOR NOW I GUESS You MAY GIVE HIM A CHANCE

[jacki2424]

If you truly love him, then you're going to take some time apart and tell him to get help with his drinking. Once he's a lot more sober and in control of his drinking, let him know you'd want to get together.

Until then, he needs to grow up and change his destructive behavior.

[TC123]

Drinking is one thing (I drink a lot) but I've never passed out, been too drunk to go somewhere, forgot about a meeting etc. Those are the classic signs of alcoholism. He could try AA but those are somewhat of a joke - dumping him or at least telling him you aren't going to do anything with him until he sobers up a bit might have the desired effect. In the end he's not going to change unless he really wants to change.

[Anonymous]

Tell him he can't binge drink the night before he has plans with you again or it will be over.