I told his girlfriend he cheated on her, now I'm afraid he will kill me!

[Anonymous]

my ex has been in a serious relationship with a woman for two years and he plans on marrying her. I am happy for them and want the best for them, but when he cheats on her with me every other weekend and then tries to tell me that he loves her and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, it makes me sick. so I finally told her. I couldn't let him lie anymore. I told him that I was going to talk to her, but he did not take it very well at all. now that I've told her, I'm afraid that if she doesn't take it well and dumps him then he will literally KILL me or hurt me otherwise. he knows where I live, what kind of car I drive, and I am really afraid he will do something crazy. he is not usually the violent type, but I have seen him snap and get angry before and he has invested his whole life into this relationship with her. I know it wasn't my place to tell her, but I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to get him out of my life, I tell him NO MORE SEX, and to go away, but he won't leave me alone. he just can't stop cheating on his girlfriend and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only woman he cheats on her with. so I did the right thing, but now I'm scared about the consequences. Do you think he will hurt me? What is the worst you think he can do? Guys, what would YOU do?

Updates

+1 y

hes now threatening not to kill ME but to KILL HIMSELF. he's harassing me with calls and msgs saying he's going to kill himself in front of me and that his death is my fault because he is too ashamed to ever look at his girlfriend again and that his future is dead. WTF

Updates

+1 y

and his girlfriend doesn't believe what I told her anyway, so why is he still threatening to kill himself in front of me? he knows I don't care what he does with his life... is he trying to make me feel guilt and remorse?

[islands7]

Trying to place myself into that guy's mind and lack of morals, getting away with stuff so close to being found out, self-serving passion, deal making - a one way street. What would he do is the question, not judging the events that led to this dilemma ...

He would first call you a liar as a cover, then jealous, then whatever it would take to pull the wool over his fiancée/your Boyfriend (call her Deb) eyes. If this works, then he has nothing further to do AND may continue (after a brief calming spell) to f*** you at will, even in the same honeymoon hotel.

If that doesn't work, then he must remove you from his world while he suffers the consequences (including no sex - so grumpy he becomes) and rehabilitation (oooh, now he's really steamed), then comes being disrespected as the turd he is - he's boiling mad now and wanting for blood.

Certainly in the latter case, but applies to both scenarios - you should leave town immediately.

You are not safe. Even if you don't smell fire today, soon you will be ambushed & burned beyond your nightmares. This pattern suggests yet another candidate for prison, one that does not fear it, so often has he avoided being found out.

Leave town!

[BenBenondatrack]

If you cared about her that much you wouldn't have never cheated with him. that's really messy on your part and it makes you look bad and like you want to break them up so you can try to be with him. I say leave it alone now..because that was wrong of you to tell on him when you are the one cheating with him...and by the way it takes 2 people to cheat so if you let him then its not only his fault its yours too

[Asker]

but see, I'm single. so I'm not cheating. and I never met her... so I don't care about her. but you're right it does make me look bad... but no I don't want to be with him. in my message to her I actually said that I am telling her about this so that he will stop cheating on her and that their relationship can be honest and stronger. I guess I just went about it really backwards.

[Lezpinup]

If you knew it was wrong and you were really happy for them like you said you wouldn't have let it happen. Its not only his fault its yours too for sleeping with him while knowing he's about to get married, you're clearly not over him. If he threatens you or tries something call the cops!

[Asker]

this may seem crazy to you, but I'm a sociologist specifically working with sexuality so in my line of study the idea of cheating is necessary and functional part of any relationship. 4 mill couples cheat every year in the US and the act of cheating actually can have benefits for monogamous relationships. anyway, I don't think it was wrong for me to let him cheat because if he wasn't sleeping with me he would have slept with someone else. but my issue is not the morals of cheating, but my safety

[Anonymous]

how can you tell her he is cheating when your the one he is cheating on her with.you almost set yourself up for this because it seems like you didn't think it through at all,so its definately not all his fault and don't say he made you because that's rape and you would be at the police station filing out a form rather than telling us you messed up,im not taking sides and sorry if that offends you but youve got no one to blame but yourself,if you really think he will do something then get a restraining order but it probably won't get granted on the grounds you want it on.hope everything works out

[Asker]

of course he didn't make me, I wanted to. what I didn't want was for him to lie to his girlfriend about it. I mean, if he told her he slipped up with me a couple times, I wouldn't have said anything. or if it was just a couple times and he stopped seeing me. but the fact that he was lying to her face every day... that's what made me sick. I never lied to her, I have no problem telling her I slept with her boyfriend. plus he's a cheater, and if he wasn't sleeping with me he would have slept with some other woman

[islands7]

Either you leave town,

call the police

or admit this was all a good drama/spoof - for like a writing course in college

[Asker]

this is not a joke.

[islands7]

keep us posted - best of luck if you are not moving out of harm's way

[islands7]

... and more physically! Wait until he gets his hands on you. Even I'm scared now!

[islands7]

He'll get you over there to save him, then change his mind and kill you?

Haven't you packed yet?