Ex boyfriend is being rude?

[Anonymous]

Can someone explain to my why my ex is suddenly being rude to me? He dumped me and we didn't talk for a few weeks, then he said all these nice things to me after I contacted him and he said he wants me in his life and in the future who knows what could happen. Then we didn't talk for about three weeks and now he's being really rude and telling me MAYBE we can be friends in the future but he wants me to go away, basically. So I am, I deleted him on facebook and everything. I'm going to move on. I just don't get why people suddenly become assholes when they say they don't want to be with you anymore. Also, there's no other girl. He wants to devote all of his time to his career right now. He said it was too painful for me to keep talking to him but then he also said "I don't want to be your boyfriend." I guess I'm wondering if there's a chance he'd change his mind since he feels pain from talking to me? But he's also being a jerk...I'm really confused.

[The-All-Star]

Because he wants to be the one who is on top. In other words, the one who broke the relationship off. Trying to pretend like he's the one who broke the relationship off to protect himself from being hurt. This is normal and pretty typical for a person who cannot handle negative emotions.

He's being nice then being a jerk again because he most likely really does want you but does not want to admit it... for too long. Then back into jerk mode again.

[Asker]

Thanks for the response. Yeahhh, I don't know :\ I want him to regret his decision but he made it sound very final... And now since I deleted him on facebook I feel like he'll forget about me and I really will never hear from him again which makes me sad. I was also his first girlfriend.

[The-All-Star]

Okay stop for a second and just be rational for a moment.

Think if this person is somebody who you see is someone that really benefits your like and his and that there is opportunity for you to grow, learn and mature together.

Think about why he dumped you, was it for good reason?

Don't go off sounding like him, up and down, back and forth.

Be clear on exactly what you want and go straight for it.