She loves her boyfriend and cheated on him with me. What does it mean?

[solitaire]

I met this girl a couple of months ago. We flirted and chatted a lot, and she agreed to be my Valentines, but I asked her on MSN. Then we were gonna go on a second date, and right before she told me she had a boyfriend since the day before. Then she said that she loved me as a friend and she thought I was joking about Valentines.

We saw each other a few more times as friends and we were really close playing in each others' hair and each others' hands and talking about everything. The last time I saw her was two weeks ago and that time she jumped all over me. We made out passionately for hours, she told me to look into her eyes, she asked me if I would be there for her if we were hypothetically in a relationship in the future, and she made me stop the car far from her house just so we could make out some more.

But at the same time she said she was making a big mistake and that she loved her boyfriend. And I know she does because she talks a lot about how hard to get he is and how sexy he is and how women want him, but how much she fights with him and stuff.

Two days later she repeated that it was a big mistake and that she had no feelings for me other than a lot of friendship love. She said we should stop seeing each other for at least a few weeks but wanted to keep talking online and on the phone. She said when we see each other next she wants to be sure there are no feelings.

I haven't had feelings for a girl like this for years. She knows I have feelings for her but I don't think she realizes how strong they are. I feel really stupid for letting it come to this. I told her I was ashamed of everything and I didn't want to stay in touch with her for now and we haven't talked since. She said she understood and to let her know when I miss her.

I miss her a lot and I know it would take me a long time to see her without feeling anything. I feel crazy about her!

Should I just break it off for good? Am I right to stop talking to her? Should I try to see her and friendzone her?

[Rique]

Dude other then the fact that this girl kinda used you as a toy, you should be pretty confident. For her to say that she loves him so much yet she spends so much time and does so much with you, you made her want you. I understand how you feel bad about how the situation is and I respect you as a man for not wanting to be a home wrecker. Yet you have to let some pressure off you shoulders because she was the one in the relationship, NOT YOU.

You have every right to be mad and no one is to blame for it, but if you do have such feelings for her, don't cut her off completely. You guys can still be friends but when things start to spark up, you know it's time to take a break. Limit yourself to small things like chats and when you get to a level as to where you can be next to her without losing your mind, you can make great progress with your friendship. But until then occupy yourself with another girl or a hobby.

[solitaire]

Thanks man I really appreciate that. That does make me feel better. Spot on advice too I've been hitting on girls lately just to get my mind off her. We did decide to see each other and see if we can just be friends next weekend and I gotta say I'm worried sh*tless about it. I feel like a baby for being so sensitive but this girls pulls me in all sorts of directions and I never know what to expect

[Rique]

Completly understandable man we're men and we get sucked in by the temptation and prospects of it all. I'm just glad that I could be of assistance, best of luck.

[Anonymous]

sure you are right about not talking to her.

and sure you don't want to end up with somebody who is confused about her relationship and about you as well. and if she cheated on her boyfriend she might cheat on you if you would be in a relationship with her ...

more over, she was the 1st to make the move and make out with you, she is the one who wants everything with her and you shouldn't give in ...don't try anything with her, just keep away until she is the one who will come back again for you, but that doesn't mean you have to trust her that easy...remember she is cheating on her boyfriend with you and maybe she is cheating with other guys too and maybe if you got in a relationship with her she would do exactly what she did to her boyfriend with you...you can never guarantee she loves him or you... she doesn't know what she wants ...but she wants it ALL

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she's confused. I'd also say she doesn't love her boyfriend - she thinks she should and she wants to keep him because other people like him.

I say break it off for good. Yes, it hurts now, but the best case scenario, from your point of view, would be for her to dump the boyfriend she already cheated on and get with you. In that case, she's just as likely to break your heart - she's already shown she can cheat. If you friendzone her, she will unfriendzone herself - women can do that easily. She sounds like she has no idea what she wants, like she has self-esteem issues adn values herself based on how others - men - value her. That's a dangerous chick to date. I say break it off, recover, find a nice girl, and count your blessings.

[Anonymous]

Don't try and see her. I think she's just using you.

[Pogistega]

You have been had. She saw you coming. lol