If my boyfriend didn't try to stop me from leaving, does it mean he didn't care?

Question

I loved him and it was a very hard thing to do to break up with him. But I had to because we didn't want the same things; I needed more attention, and he was on the cold side of spectrum. He wasn't the romantic type and I often wondered if he even has any feelings for me. He was never vocal about these things. In the end I became lonely and sad, and when I told him how I felt he just said that he does like me but it's just the way he is. When I broke up with him he just said "Okay" and left. It's been a month with no contact, he hasn't tried to reach me.

Dongtai · Accepted Answer

When my ex dumped me via text, it hurt. I knew it was coming because of how our interactions with eachother had changed over the previous couple of weeks.

Instead of breaking it off myself, I told myself I’d be the best boyfriend I could be up to the point she dumps me. I wanted to show her the type of person she was throwing away. And when it happened, I wasn’t spiteful or bitter. I just let it go.

I absolutely did not try to get her back because being with her was emotionally exhausting. When she broke up with me, it felt like I could finally breathe. She took me for granted, was thoughtless and with all of that, I still gave her my best. I got her a autographed cd from her favorite band for her birthday. She didn’t do anything for my birthday until I told her how I felt about her not doing something for my birthday.

I didn’t want to go back to that. I also understood that I stayed with her hoping she’d become the girlfriend I thought she could be instead of accepting who she actually was. So the emotional pain was partly my fault too. I took responsibility for that.

I didn’t want her back because I hadn’t felt like I “lost” someone worth fighting for. Her parents came to my work a couple of times. Her sister and her friend too. My ex came by with her mom a few times (but I wasn’t working). I’m not sure if they came “for me” or for the ice cream.

But I’ll say this, if they’re worth missing and fighting for, never put them in the position to “try and stop you from leaving”. It’s not like the movies. Their feelings matter and pain doesn’t just vanish because your mind has changed. Sometimes it’s over when it’s over.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

no. it means he's not able to express emotions because he may not have them or have them available to share (e. g. he's already beaten down emotionally and can't feel).
There may be other ways he tried to express himself which don't register for you... maybe like fixing your blinds, cleaning under your fridge, or whatever.

I was actually in something like that back when I was emotionally the walking dead. Poor girl, feel for you all... why were you drawn to him? e. g. what were you seeing? daddy?:) Best think for him is for you to apply your female emotional electroshock treatments to his soul til he screams:)

probably a good guy but out of touch with himself. better luck finding someone who is more mature.

opinionated_hoe · Accepted Answer

Since you tried communicating how you felt beforehand, and it seems like he only defended himself and didn’t bother trying to be understanding or make an effort to adjust his behavior, I’d say that you would’ve needed a talk about approaching issues and respecting each other’s feelings. It’s totally understandable to feel hurt that he didn’t do anything for the relationship after you said you weren’t happy; most of the time people say they don’t want to be in the relationship anymore to gain some kind of reassurance and spark a conversation that’ll lead to fixing the problem. Not having that happen shows that he didn’t care to put the effort needed into saving the relationship

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Wait so you are the one that decided to end the relationship then you expect him to go chase you around, Why would you expect him to go after you? I mean you are the one who ended the relationship. For crying out loud you are over 30 . He is an adult , I am guessing he don't play around. Only 13 year olds do that end the relationship then get mad because the guy didn't go chase after them. It wasn't working out anymore you were unhappy with him so what difference does it make? Why waste his time and your time on a relationship that wasn't working out. Just move on.

Goforit1010 · Answer

In ANY relationship, the person least emotionally attached, has the easiest time ending the relationship. After a month with no contact and just an "Okay" as it ended, tells me he had virtually NO feelings toward you at all. What a cold individual! As for "care"... I think that answers it. None. Nada. Zero. Zip. End. Finis!

I couldn't be like that toward anyone was dating - especially if I dated them for a while (a few months or more). I HOPE you find another guy who's everything you'd like!

akihon · Answer

Oh well this is a bit of a conundrum isn't it

If he doesn't try to stop you then he doesn't care
If he does try to stop you then he's guilty of false imprisonment or forcing you to stay against your will

Tell me is there a point at which women are going to realise they have really screwed the pooch

metalhead_66 · Answer

Some guys are just like that you know. It's in their personality. He was just not the open type, it doesn't necessarily mean that he didn't like you, but it certainly didn't work out between because you actually wanted something from him that he just can't give it to you

winterfox10 · Answer

That is NOT what that means at all. All it means is that that he's trying to respect your wishes.

He probably just recognizes that things weren't going to work out, so it's better to just move on and try to heal.

theronaldmcdonald · Answer

Perhaps he does, but it shouldn’t matter regardless. You did the right thing for you and even if he didn’t care, all the more reason to be proud of your decision. There will be someone better suited for you in the future!

Anonymous · Answer

What was he supposed to do, stalk you? You ended the relationship, and he let you go instead of begging. Why would he keep opening himself up to you emotionally when you disqualified yourself from that role by dumping him? The way he acted is exactly what I do when a woman dumps me.

worldscolide · Answer

No it means you're playing a stupid idiotic childish manipulative game with his heart, and he is not playing.. You're in your thirties fucking act like it..

0112358 · Answer

No, though it's also how he'd behave if he didn't care. But you left him, he might simply accept that what you said about being unhappy was true, and that you'd let him know if that changed.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

It means he won't give you the satisfaction of squirming for you. You wanna stay? Cool. You wanna leave? Begone and quit wasting daylight.

Laozi · Answer

Either he cares about you more than you can imagine and that's why he let you go or he doesn't care about you at all.

SarahsSummer · Answer

It certainly appears that way. You can do better. You will find someone who holds the same values as you and can show you that you are loved.

R_Cakes91 · Answer

You’re the one who dumped him and you want him to chase you now? Maybe you were annoying him and he’s happy to be single

Secret6620 · Answer

Doesn't mean he NEVER cared but it does mean he is done. 🖤

pleasestopthis · Answer

Not necessarily. It could mean he just respected and understood your decision. Why should he force you to stay by his side when you don't want to?

bebecitaaa · Answer

not that he didn't care, he just vallues himself too much to waist time begging for someone who clearly doesn't want him enough to stay.

DiegoO · Answer

Yeah, well, at least he is not bothering you. It hurt, I know, but you are better off alone than with someone who doesn't seem to be capable of loving and being loved the way you expect.

Jaycrowe · Answer

To me would depend on how many times u left? If u 2 r on n off he won't care! Unless he really care. Bt when u leav hope he b txtn askn hw unr wher u r n if u Eva cumn hm? If not don't worry bot him u need to do u girl

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

And if you want to break up with him what's the point of you caring?

secretgirl4u · Answer

Woman are ruled by their emotions. men are not. their reactions are completely different from women they will always say " you broke up with me "

AlongCameCindy · Answer

If he had cared i doubt he would of been okay with it without at least a fight, actions speak louder than words, he might have cared but clearly not to the extent you wanted him too.

If my boyfriend didn't try to stop me from leaving, does it mean he didn't care?

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