What does it mean when you doubt yourself during a breakup?

[Anonymous]

I was raised to scope out red flags and my parents always tried to train me to be able to decipher bullshit and not to be stupid over boys. I thought I had a good judge of character for the first 19 years of my life. I was one of those people who strongly felt that I didn’t need a relationship and that a relationship was just a bonus to my life, not a necessity.
When I met my first boyfriend I felt a bunch of unexpected emotions didn’t know were possible to feel for a guy. It wasn’t like an crush I had before him, I really saw him as an inspiration. He enriched my life and made me want to be a better person. I saw him as a role model despite our 1 year age gap. I also had a lot of respect for him automatically and my “good character” meter was going off the charts. I KNEW in my heart that he was without a doubt a good person.

So when he did some very stupid shit I was extremely conflicted. I know my parents had led me to strongly believe that leaving was empowering but I had honestly underestimated how I would feel in the moment. I didn’t feel empowered at all. Breaking up with him felt like I was making the biggest mistake of my life.
Even though I knew without a doubt that he deserved it. And because of my doubt, afterwards I did a lot of stupid stuff like continuing to sleep with my ex just to have an excuse to be around him. I really hit rock bottom during that time period. I dug myself into a deeper mess by not sticking to my guns-by not leaving him even though I get that he deserved it. And he didn’t cheat but he did do something terrible. But I genuinely felt that he was a good guy. And breaking up with him felt wrong. Being away from him also felt wrong. Rarely during our relationship did I feel like I was making the right determining decisions about what I should be doing or how I should react to him.

[CallMeDave]

Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is difficult. I think it's pretty normal to have doubts or at least have a hard time making a clean break because the good parts of the relationship were so good that it's really hard to give that up.

I think what you need to do in a situation like that is decide whether what he did was a one time thing or something that would likely be repeated and whether it was bad enough that it outweighs the good things about him. No one is perfect and people make mistakes so I think you have to assess whether it's something correctible or that won't happen again or is something you can tolerate or if it just makes it impossible to have a good healthy relationship.

I broke up with one ex because she repeatedly lied about things. She was a lot of fun to be with and very alluring and it was really hard to stop seeing her, but honesty is essential to a good relationship so I had to leave. It was really hard to do though.

[townhouse]

There's something wrong take minute collect ur thoughts love is hard to find and do u love the person why break up