Should I dump my boyfriend if he cheated on me?

[Apope16]

In all honesty? It depends on a lot of things. My opinion will be unpopular here but it is honest.

First. ask yourself. How old am I and can I do better in the dating market? If you are a woman age 30 or older... then divorcing a man or breaking up with a man will likely mean that you could be single for the rest of your life. I am not talking a few years. I am saying that when you dump this guy and go back to the dating market guys are just going to bang you a few times but then leave you in heartache. Then you will be 40 or 50 or 60 or older after being single for years. You will be a tormented and lonely woman just growing older and living alone by yourself. I see this all the time. There are so many tired eyed, greying, bitter, women in their late 30s with children. They have given up on love and marriage and they are just angry and bitter.

Second, how much do you love him? If this is truly the love of your life then you should maybe try to fight for the relationship or work things out. I would get to the bottom of his feelings. You know he's lying about cheating. Okay. SO have a deep one on one conversation about how much you love him and what you can do to please him and make him happy. Be frank about how much you are hurting and how you want respect and loyalty. At this point maybe only couples therapy will save this.

Third, It doesn't sound like this man is in love with someone else. It sounds like this man is cheating because of something in the relationship. It could be that the sex is not enough. But most likely it is emotional. Maybe the stress of fatherhood or a desire to escape and relive feelings single. There is some ways to turn it around by setting up a baby sitter. Having a date night once a week without the kids going out and having fun like the old days. Children are not the only priority. Make sure that your man is a priority too. and pleasing him.

Fourth, I know you are pregnant. But after the baby is born are you going to physically let yourself go? You should be working out. Maybe going for a jog or run. You need to focus on eating healthy and looking sexy to impress your man and peaking his desire.

Lastly, if you can't get over his betrayal you have every right to dump this guy. But you need to realize your own responsibility in this situation. You are getting knocked up with babies with a "boyfriend'. THis is not acceptable. You should only be having children in a marriage. A stable commitment. A stable relationship. You were selfish right? Dont lie. You were selfish. You put your desire to have a baby first over ensuring that your children grow up with a father in their life. Why would you even carry a baby to term unless you have a stable, contractual relationship first? These children are going to live the rest of their lives with the risk of depression and pain and identity issues. Possibly drugs. Possibly if it is a daughter dating druggie or bad boy guys because she never had a father. You could have chosen not to have a baby early on. But instead for whatever reason you thought it would be a good idea to keep it going knowing you guys are not even married. Did he even agree to having a child or did you force it upon him to try to "lock him down"? think about it. This could be why he is acting up.

[Finchie40]

Yes dump him , if he truly valued and loved you he wouldn’t be with other women , don’t settle for someone that can’t settle just for you, value your self worth and realize not everyone is an asshole , Cheaters are assholes , just because you have children with him doesn’t mean you have to take him back , just thank him for your beautiful babies and move on, find someone that loves you for you that wouldn’t betray you , I had to do it to my ex wife that I was married to for 14 years and have 3 children together she cheated on me with a co worker , and that was my final straw , I still love her for being the mother of our children, but just because we love someone, it doesn’t mean with have to be with them , leaving her was the best choice I made The only really good thing we have on Earth is love, so settling for someone that doesn’t truly love us is a waste of time , picture yourself lying On your death bed one day and your cheating husband is out screwing another girl while he should be by your side , just a scenario for you , so choose someone that wants to be by your side, no matter what , never settle for someone that just likes the convenience of you. Most of us encounter bad seeds along the way but eventually or hopefully we find a good one

[Mikasa13]

I'm sorry you have to go through this dear. No one deserve to go through this pain. No matter how difficult this is but you have to end your relationship with your irresponsible and selfish boyfriend. This will set an example for your children how to act when the person you love the most didn't value you. He didn't love you enough to respect you. You don't deserve to be treated like this especially when you're pregnant. God remove those who dont deserve to be in your life and those who cause more harm to you.

[IveGotNoName]

Well in most cases, I'd say that I don't think you should be together with someone you cannot trust, but this is different since you are going to have ANOTHER child together soon. I'd say, have a long serious talk with the guy, and really figure out with yourself, if you'll ever be able to trust him again, because he's going to be a part of your life for the rest of your lives either way. Breaking up will affect the children, but you'll have to figure out if it will be better if you actually were appart.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you don't trust him, what reason would you have to stay with him?

[Skankhunt]

That's up to you. You have to make a decision. You have a child and a baby on the way, if you break up with him, your children won't have a daddy anymore, on the other hand you don't have to deal with your unfaithful boyfriend and move on. What yout decision will be, it's going to be tough.

You have to move on and heal yoru heart after being cheated, and you have to raise two children, that's going to be hard, however, your family might help you raising your childen.

Also, are you willing and/or able to fogive him and give him a second chance? Is your boyfriend willing to change? Does he regret what he did? If you can answer these two questions, you can continue with him and build the relationship even stronger.

If you don't want to give him a chance, move on but he is wilinbg to chance but you, tell him it's over.

Is giving you partner a second chance after he cheated on you a sign of true love? Some would say yes, some would say no, because who wants someone in their life who hurt you? He might do it a second time. If he cheat on you for the second time, would you still give him a second chance?

My point is, how strong can someone's love be for someone else? Are you a fool if you give him hundred chances or is your love towards him so strong that you don't care how many times he hurt you? I think there is a limit in giving chances.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Well first find out that he is actually cheating and not just here say (your friend could be mistaken, it could have been some one he works with and they where on break etc. etc.). You would want to be treated fairly if he came up and said some one told him you where walking around with some other guy and therefore must be cheating on him, so give him the same benefit of the doubt. Don't accuse some one of something on second hand information that in and of itself isn't even damning (he was standing around with another woman, that doesn't sound like cheating at all).

Now if he is, yes you should probably break up with him, but find out that he is first with actual evidence.

[DJ1991]

Well. just for be seen with someone and your friend told you

Okay lets get real here.

He was just with someone, since when is it wrong to walk with someone, it can be a colleague, someone he helped, someone he gave a lift.

this really sound like trust issues

What if your friend want to cause trouble

What if you friend is lying and she want to make trouble between you so that you can break up, does she like him?

You are in a relationship with him, and till he tell you the truth you can have your suspicions but can't act on it, because your job in the relationship is to stand by his side and believe what he tells you.

What if he posted on here asking advice about you posing in your bra. asking strangers what they think about your boob size. click on your profile pic and you will see

All im saying is don't trust the friend, there are hundred reasons for why he could've been with someone

[bamesjond0069]

If he is committed to being with you just accept it. Most men cheat but only for fun. He would probably never leave you or not want to be a good dad for your kids. But if you leave him, there is a good chance he's going to check out of being a dad for the kids because he will seek to have a family w a new woman.

I don't know why men bullshit about this. Im always honest asf if im going to fuck other girls and not one girl ever left me over it. y'all want relationship commitment not sexual commitment.

[Leavesbound]

I can't tell you to dump him but I strongly urge you to put him on probation. Only you can decide if something worthwhile between you is worth saving. If you've been dating for years and this is the one and only time and you are both in love then it might be worth saving. If you've been dating a few months and this is his third offense then I'd say he is beyond saving and you should move on.

[lightbulb27]

I'm very sorry to hear that. I guess you two need to have a serious talk about needs and such.
no marriage?
Some guys don't grow up for a while... at some point he needs to hear, that his children need him and he's important in their lives. You need stability.

If he can't provide that, then you got the same question my mom had. She stayed...

[Anonymous]

I would never forgive a cheater, mostly because I could never trust them again. Spending the rest of my life always wondering what he's doing or who he's with would drive me crazy, and I wouldn't be willing to live like that.

But, on the flip side, nothing that you described sounds like proof that he is cheating. Sure, he shouldn't have lied about what he was doing. That's definitely a problem in and of itself, but did your friend say how he was acting with this other woman? Did it seem flirtation? Was it touchy/feely? Where were they? Too many unknowns to jump to a conclusion on this one. If I were you, I'd try to get to the bottom of this before throwing away the entire relationship.

[Divinelist]

Maybe he feels things are moving too fast, and trying to explore his options without you finding out, but if you feel you defintely want to break up then go with what best fit for you and your kids even if it means staying together with him, observe the situation and talk it out with him without much arguing

[seanras]

If your friend's information is reliable to you, that guy is a liar. End it and save your time. You're 31, he's not going to change.

You may find a nice guy. Even if you don't, being single and enjoying life with your girl friends in kitty parties is going to feel far less stressful than having a family with a liar and being part of his deception.

[NeverHadASister]

How would youike to get HIV and and up leaving your children motherless? Do not take the risk. When you sleep with someone, you sleep with the last 15 people tgey slept with. Cheaters don't change. After they have cheated on you once, they have established a pattern. If you let them get away with it, they think it's ok.

[Screenwriter]

You're in an unfortunate situation. I assume you're living together.
Tell him you know he lied and your friend saw him with another woman. Many relationships break up at the five, six seven year juncture.

Make sure you have a lawyer so you can get child support for your children. Prepare to be alone. Once a cheater, you can never trust that person again.

[LZPanzer]

So you're taking the word of another person over that of your husband? If you believe her you should do some investigation.

I think you're jumping the gun a bit. Make sure he is cheating first. Be absolutely sure. Confront him about it and be direct. It's entirely possible he met with another woman for benign reasons.

[JBR1957]

Yes I don’t care how much you like him. My grandfather always said once a dog gets a taste of chicken your going to have to kill him. Ain’t no fixin the guy.

[yeahitsmegrace]

I don't think you should stay with him. I know you might be thinking about your children, but do you really want them to be influenced by your boyfriend?

[kkirk4442]

Did he actually cheat on you, or did he just lie about where he was? If he cheated on you, or if you strongly suspect his intent was to cheat on you, then dump him.

[NotSoAverageJo]

Girl I would dump him. Believe me, I had almost the same exact thing happen to me. I (stupidly) gave another chance. And then another. Finally I realized he clearly didn't respect me at all and I ended it. I'm so much happier now. It'll suck for a while but it's better than constantly having him cheat over and over. You'll feel much better if you get to end it too.

[Citizenkirk]

That depends. Do you currently have a "Kick Me" sign taped to your back side?

[Anpu23]

I once had an argument with a girlfriend when she told me that her friend saw me at the club with 'another woman' when I was in a hotel room in a different state at the time for business. I was over 1000 miles away yet her 'friend' had convinced her and nothing I could say would change her mind. Not saying it didn't happen but one of them is either lying or mistaken make sure that your accusing the right one.

[Anonymous]

Before you make your mind up, check to make sure you got your facts straight. People tell white lies also. Not just lies. Doesn't mean he's had sex. Maybe they are friends... Out for lunch.. Find anyone he doesn't know to check him out... Hire baby sitters, check him out from distance.. Your decisions are for the rest of your life.. No turning back..