Would you ever stay friends with an ex who dumped you?

[Mel2021]

If someone dumped you would you ever by their friend or would you feel too betrayed? Especially if they requested this straight after the breakup?

[Tiffany_Taylor_Made]

Under normal circumstances, no I wouldn't stay friends with a guy that dumped me. I never had any reason to stay in contact with ex-boyfriends. In addition, most of my breakups weren't even pleasant ones. After breakups, many of my ex-boyfriends have insulted me, leaked some of my personal photos that I've sent them, insulted the appearance of my private area, threatened me and sometimes even my new boyfriends, and so on. I don't have any children, but if I did have children with an ex-boyfriend, I would try to stay friends with him so we can do what's best for our children.

[MommyC16]

Maybe later but definitely not right after

[Old_Golden]

Have done and will probably continue to do. Just bc stuff between us changed doesn't change that I loved you. If shit went crazy sideways and toxic, yeah, obviously not gonna happen, but most of the time I know it's my faults that drove the biggest wedge, so it's nothing I wasn't expecting. It may take me some time to re-adjust but in the end we were probably friends first and I clearly cared a lot about you so I don't see why that shouldn't continue to be the case if it's not hurting either of us.

[abc3643]

Yes, I think so. I am "cordial" with my first girlfriend - we live over 1000 miles apart and we dated 40 years ago. We email a few times a year.

I am also FB friends with another woman who dumped me, so to speak, although we were never a formal couple.

Another woman who dumped me was a relief that she dumped me. She's dead, so it's irrelevant, but I am friendly with her daughters via FB.

The last woman who dumped me wants nothing to do with me. She was the one I wanted to marry.

[jennifer_bloom]

Only if I thought they were nice about how the did it.

[alleon]

Any communication with all ex’s but one aren’t a good idea for me. There’s one I check in on from time to time. I was 18 as him 32 when we got together. But I crushed on him from when I was 16.(worked together but I was too young). so I ended it before going to college because I felt I had to experience those years. He just lost his mom and he appreciates that I still check in on him. We don’t talk everyday and only hung out once in 11 years. We’re not I love anymore but we still care for one another. But from a distance

[Miristheiss]

I never have stayed friends with anyone I ever dated.
Once we are no longer going out... I have no reason for them to be in my life.
I'm not enemies with them... they are just gone from my life. I don't call them or text them... they are the past.

No interest in that at all.

[Old_-_Soul]

I'm assuming no kids involved.
If we were friends first and ended up dating and she explained to me that the feelings that she feels is not those that would lead to marriage and that is what she wanted, I could be friends with her again.
I gave a very explicit scenario. Every scenario is different. If she had treated me like crap when dumping me, it would be very different. I went with what I did because, from my experience, it is the more rare scenario to find.

[Mofunfour20]

I would feel betrayed by myself for wasting time being friends with someone who is not interested in a relationship. Why does she deserves my attention if breaking up implys we are incompatible? Only guys who dont value their time will want to be friends after a break up. "Hell no, i already had friends before i met you" would be my response

[sheikalana]

I'm friends with a guy who dumped me years ago. But it took us some time to reconnect I don't think is good to stay in touch with an ex immediately after the break up you both need time to figure things out. For us it took us almost one year to reconnect again and we're good now what is done is done sometimes I even forget he's my ex I solely see him as a good friend now.

[Leavesbound]

Yes. I actually did this. A girl I was seeing dumped me but she did it in a really gentle way and even offered break up sex with me. I had never heard of break up sex before. She said we couldn't be romantically involved any more but I was still welcome to come over for visits, to talk to her, join her for holidays etc and even friends with benefits. Basically the only thing that really changed was she got to have sex with other people without it being called cheating.

[pleaseloveme]

That's horrible

[Leavesbound]

@pleaseloveme That's OK I moved to another region in the country and her cousin told me she ended up with some sort of V. D. and I tested negative for it so she got it after we broke up. Glad I never took her up on the friends with benefits plan.

[ArrowheadSW]

Hummm... I guess it would depend on the circumstances and if we functioned as friends. I've only stayed friends with one ex and I didn't like dating her at all, but we made good friends. Most of the time there would be no point really, to staying friends with an ex.

[HugoThe2nd]

Eh, sure. It's not like I care very much about these things, I'm rarely emotionally invested.
The last time I did it, it morphed into something that others would probably call a trainwreck, but it didn't really bother me at all personally.

Unless they get on my nerves super bad, I'd be fine with it.

[Coulis]

No, because I never wanted to be their platonic friend in the first place so why would I?

I would be cordial if I ran into them provided they weren't a toxic person who in fact did me a favour by dumping me.

If they were in a bad bind and they reached out to me and I could help I would but I wouldn't like be on social media with them or meet up once a mo th or something.

I would TOTALLY stalk their socials though because it's just data to me.

[whatdoyouwantt]

Nah exes can’t be friends. Out of __ I’m only friends with one and only cuz he forced me, and now I’m anyways over him... oh wait there's another one but I don’t see him in romantic way anymore at all. He’s just a part of my childhood history

[yofuknutz]

Oh he forced you you're playing the victim card now

[Anonymous]

It depends if we dated for a short period of time then maybe just because it’s not like they wasted a giant amount of my time or if we weren’t exactly “exclusive” then yes. But if we dated for a long time then no just because it would be too hard for me.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes. If we weren't too far into the relationship.

If I had already gotten attached to her, then it depends. A lot of it depends on whether she is kind and professional about it or whether she does it in a way that is cruel and inconsiderate.

Whatever happens, I'd rather be able to talk through it and have a chance to express my feelings.

[DiegoO]

For me there is no such thing as friendship+ex. Both don't get along. I would say, you will mostlikely be an acquantance to your ex.

So, anserwing your question... It wouldn't happen in the first place, and any interpersonal relation we would have, would be the result of many factors.

[shiril]

It will deeoend on lots of aspects as I perceive...

Already if they had an attraction they might not remain friends forever - it may be more towards male - femel interaction

There is thin line between any retionship and that line whether you tend to cross under certain circumstances depends on infividuals bringing up, values.

Going ahead of values or keeping Principles aside More important is Psychological needs at that time.

[Xyglo27]

I wouldn't be friends with an ex.

Relationship is ok but friendship is not. 🙅

[Anonymous]

all the people throughout the years only one because I had a kid with her and even then it's bare minimum communication. It is a lofty idea but a reality is most breakups are very messy and you really need to cut your losses and cut loose fast it is what it is.

[msbrightness]

Dumped, no. It implies insult to injury (could only be justified if you cheat on someone)
Parted ways with an actual reason/explanation that was true/did match what was going on - why not.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Probably not it would be too painful

That being said I have made that offer to guys I dumped and some of them have taken me up on it

[Youryeodongsaeng]

It depends on why they dumped me. If they dumped me because our relationship wasn't working, I'll understand and would want to remain friends with them. Any other reason relating to that, I'll still would want to remain friends with them.

[RingOfFire]

Not sure... I've never been dumped. But I have been friends with most of my ex gfs after breaking up. Some of them I am still friends with since my teens and 20s.

[CaliDad]

It really depends on the reason for the breakup. Sometimes people just aren't compatible as partners... so why not stay friends? Other times it's cheating or you found out she's a total leech... then just run away and never look back.

[JamieLoves]

Are you crazy? Why would you?
Maybe you enjoy being treated badly

[Mel2021]

See I have stayed friends with exes but only after a long period of time where we don’t really communicate much and the feelings have gone.

My current ex who dumped me asked me to be friends after breaking up with me but I don’t know if I can be as he left me at a low point

[TacosRAwesome]

We are no longer that friendly because life took us on separate paths but I was good friends with my first ex for a while.

[DollAlone]

It takes time but it is possible. My ex became my best friend eventually but it took over a year of hating each other. Over time we were able to get close and talk and are really good friends.

[Marhaban-1]

Of course unless I had reason to hate them. I would try to have a neutral relationship or state of amity

[virusbkk]

If the break up was in the early stages of the relationship at which point neither party had significant feelings or invested significant time, I think it could work.

If you are the dumpee, you have no obligation to initiate contact in order to maintain said friendship, for the sake of your self-respect.

Let the dumpee reach out to you - but by all means, you can be cordial during the conversation.

[virusbkk]

Edit: I meant let the dumper reach out to you

[Biancam13]

I agree with a lot of people here, it depends on the reason for the breakup and if they were respectable during/after the relationship

[Guccigabbana18]

Probably not since you used the word ‘dumped.’ Sounds like a harsh breakup. Maybe if some time had passed but that’s a hard maybe

[ChattyGuy43]

I have but the dumper doesn't want to on there end, that's their problem not mine

[Ripper_E]

Depends on the circumstances. Maybe I was just a horrible boyfriend and she was just doing what she felt she had to. I can't be angry at someone for that.

[dtweed1996]

It depends really if they wasted my time long enough then why waste more or if they were kind of ok but was too dramatic then I just hearing something saying friendzone

[pinkjazz500]

It depends.
I have remained friends with 2 of my exes since those splits were mutual - we have since drifted apart.

[Drumlin2001]

I think it's possible know certain situations, especially if kids involved, but in most cases i'd say no.

[alowe72]

I've broken up most of my relationships and stayed friends with most of my ex's. There was one guy that did end thing with me and we were friend for awhile after he broke up with me.

[innerman]

I think its ok to be friends.


One shouldn’t keep too much hate in their hearts

[Wiredone]

It depends on how they worded the breakup. If they nicely said it's not going to work out being romantically involved but I'd still like to be friends, then I'd agree to stay friends

[This_is_my_username]

Nope. I can make more friends but my ex doesn't need to be one of them

[McKellar]

Here's a better, rhetorical question for you,... why would you go back being friends with your ex?

[Waldoe]

Dumped? you mean broke up with? yes if it was not an ugly breakup

[Anonymous]

Not a chance. If I find someone hotter and had better chemistry with, I'm okay being friends with the ex.

[dpy87]

I think a lot do. I see exes hanging out with their new partner all the time.

[Daphne_93]

I probably couldn’t I couldn’t see them with someone else.

[kidvid80]

no, they are an ex for a reason

[Anonymous]

All my x's were my friends w benefit. So really didn't care. I was getting mine.

[Poppy_girl]

Never... it's better to stay away...

[dudeinohio]

No I would never stay friends with an ex.

[ShedzJo4322]

I have done it, but it was just for sex

[Texasguy99]

I tried. It doesn’t work

[Jaylaaa2000]

Yes.

[Angelo75]

Nope. She'd just prolong the pain.

[Princess_Serene]

Been there. Didn't work :(

[karaspara]

Sure I have done before

[Alonewolf003]

And why rhe f?

[DaveToo]

Only if they wanted to.

[Kitty46]

I’m friends with my ex.

[DJ1991]

Hell No. an EX is an EX for a reason

[Wise4myage]

No, that's completely pointless in my opinion.

[scott04sa22]

It depends on lots of reasons.

[TheBigGuy9]

Sure, if it was strictly professional

[exitseven]

No way. It is adios.