How many break-ups have you had and what did each break-up teach you?

[Dude_777]

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[OlderAndWiser]

In approximately 50 years of dating, I have been in a number of relationships and sexual affairs. I think that I have had about 15 "breaks-ups" that were sufficiently significant to cause some distress.

What I have learned from those is that every relationship is not meant to be. You can be drawn to each other by lust or love, and you can even have trust and respect, but sometimes there are simply other problems which prevent a relationship from being sustained. Even if the reasons relate to the personality and character of the two partners, that does not mean that one person has done something "wrong" or is a "bad" person. It just means that you spent enough time together to realize the incompatibility and then you did what needed to be done.

Staying with someone under such circumstances is always a mistake. If Joni is unhappy with me, why would I want to stay with someone who would rather be alone or with another person? No, when problems arise, if they foretell the end of a relationship, just let go of it, let go of your partner, part on amicable terms, and don't hang on to them.

Every time I have gone back to a previous partner - and I have done it about five times - I always quickly rediscovered the reasons why we broke up originally, and I always regretted trying to reconcile.

So, when it isn't working out and you know it can't be salvaged, let go of her, learn some lessons from the experience, don't forget the bad times but especially treasure the good memories and be thankful for the good times that you shared together.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Battooot]

I've had 1 actual relationship in my life. And so that is 1 breakup.

It really taught me one thing and one thing only. In all the messes up I've done. And I've done many big ones. I was willing to work on myself and improve myself for my partner. And I've shown great progress and improvement. What i truly learned is that I truly should have listened to the red flags that indicated to me signs of immaturity. Sometimes you can meet someone who seems very level headed and extremely mature. but the moment they get emotional or angry they suddenly become very immature, toxic in words and lacks all respect, and completely illogical, they really CANNOT think straight at ALL. The first time i saw that happening should have been my sign to step away and distance myself. But sadly i kept convincing myself otherwise and saying "they will grow and learn". But it kept happening and happening until the very last moment where it ended. And it ended because of that very thing.

What i learned: once i see one little sign of immaturity. I should have no mercy and either im out or i scold that person so strongly and make it so clear i will never accept that shit coming from them ever again. And there is something that really bothers me about: people who are incapable of taking important vital decisions on their own and rely on listening to others and taking "majority decisions" from people who will never know half the information you know (meaning none of them can give true real answers).

[kannettava]

My first boyfriend broke up with me, because I was too boring for him. That taught me that I shouldn't try to pretend like I enjoy hanging out with people or being social in any way. Would've saved a lot of time for the both of us. Also my first relationship kinda showed me that I should have some expectations for a partner and not just date anyone who is at least slightly into me, lol.

My second boyfriend broke up with me, because his feelings faded due to long distance. That taught me that being in a long distance relationship with someone who doesn't put in as much effort as you do will only cause heartbreak.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

My first marriage ended and it taught me I'll never again allow someone to abuse me verbally or physically or will I ever again put up with someone who's jealous or controlling.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks for mh

[jennifer_bloom]

I had one break up and it hurt at the time but I got over it after I met two other guys I liked. I learned that you cannot change a man - if a guy is not what you want - change your behaviour or leave and find another guy.

[Dragonpurple]

1st girlfriend broke up with me, I learned from her that she just wanted a boyfriend (we were each others first relationship) and it lasted a whole three weeks.

Some people just want a relationship for the sake of a relationship, nothing more.

My ex and I divorced and now I learned I won't put up with that crap no more, no lying... no cheating or manipulation.

The next two were similar, just there at the right time and moved on amicably, stayed friends and got along great. I learned how relationships are suppose to be, healthy ones.

[crazyish]

There were only 2 major ones that taught me lessons in life. They each taught me completley different things. But together they taught me that what they did was my fault, that I allowed bad things to happen because of the person I am. I needed to dig deep and self reflect to find out why and how things got so bad. Need to work on me personally to make sure I only give the person I am to someone who is deserving. Someone I can trust to not take advantage or hurt me just because they can.

[DizzyDesii]

Good Lord. 22 i think 😂 Two of the bad experiences helped me in securing a stronger relationship with the Lord. A few more taught me that a lot dont know how to prioritize and dont deserve my time. I mean i learned something from very few of them tbh. The rest were just bad apples who couldve spoiled the whole bunch but i refuse to let a few bad experiences keep me single

[exitseven]

I probably had about 10 real breakups and a bunch of girls I just stopped calling.
One breakup was really bad and I lost trust in people for a long time after that. One girl I dated used drugs a lot and often would rather get stoned than go out with me. She often lied about it. I had a breakup where we just sat in my car and cried. I don't know if any of them really taught me anything except that life must go on.

[Jazquee]

A few... it showed me the more people I meet... the more I love my dog!
😂😂🤣
Seriously... it taught me what real Iove was/is. And to hold onto it... cause its hard to find.

[PaynefulPleasures]

I've had some along the way users, abusers, liars, cheaters, one moved, my husband passed away. Each gave me strength to carry on , a survivor of sorts I guess you could say, but here I'am stronger than before, my spirit not broken,& continuing on✌️

[Anon621]

I've had too many breakups to count. Each one taught me different things like "next time do this " or "next time don't do this" or "next time considrr trying this."

[red324]

What works for one girl won't always work on the next girl and vice versa. I can't ever get it right either bro.

[serious]

The answer is ZERO. I have always been single and wish to remain single for life so there will never be a break up and no such scenarios will ever arise.

[RealMarek]

Two. The first taught me to never be with someone who was not kind to me ever again. The second, that I am a sucker for needy people and should be with someone who is able to reciprocate in a balanced way.

[Browneye57]

My heart has been broken so many times it's like shattered glass. You learn the hard way what women really are. The young guys just won't get it till some bimbo rips his head off and shits down his neck hole. LOL
You'll see.

[red324]

I'm beginning to figure it out. Most women are pieces of shit that dont really even deserve an ounce of my attention. Somehow I keep searching for that one that would hopefully love me in return. I was thinking the other day about hiring some hot girl to clean my house and hopefully get some sex out of her or something. Just sex with no emotion involved. Lol

[hahahmm]

@red324 Stop looking for love. All you can depend on is if you set boundaries and have the backbone to require them, you may get a woman who stays in those boundaries. Period. The relationship will never be balanced/100% mutual "love" because the biology/nature of men and women is too different in my opinion. Most of these women today don't deserve what a man has to offer.

[Browneye57]

@hahahmm - Exactly.
You guys are getting the message.

Rollo breaks it down quite well. Some of what he espouses comes as a bit of a shock, but surely explains why they do what they do, why they act like they do. In particular, hypergamy and solipsism - terms I had never heard before. But as I read his blogs, it all of a sudden started to click. So this is what I've been missing all these years. And now it's like I have a crystal ball - I understand women better than they do themselves. It's rather comical actually.

I credit him and Athol Kay for saving my marriage. The latter developed the MAP, or man action plan, where you improve yourself to become desirable again, or to prepare you for your next relationship - it's up to your woman to embrace or reject.

Rollo's blog is here: www.therationalmale.com
Athol Kay published a few books, and also sponsors a couples forum here:
https://www.talkaboutmarriage.com/forums/

[hahahmm]

Hadn't heard of Rollo but nice. I wish I knew what I know now when I was say 16. Would have saved me a lot of trouble but now we need to educate the young guys.

[hahahmm]

Correction, I heard of "Rational Male" but never read it or remembered the author's name.

[Browneye57]

@hahahmm - Well gee, if I had known back in my twenties what I know now, life would have been much different. :)
We live, we learn, we fall down, we get up. If you keep at it you reach success!

[Browneye57]

Oh, and never forget, YOU ARE THE PRIZE! So start acting like it.
Women will come and go, but a REAL MAN is a prize to behold. The MEN are really what makes things happen.

[Dazed0N0Confused]

3: one was a divorce, one was due to depression, & one was after a week & he was trying to be abusive

[Enochian]

Just 1 and it hurt a lot. After that I told myself I’ll love money more than I would love another woman

[TylerKuykendall]

Zero breakups, since I’ve never been in a relationship. Nothing to learn from that, obviously.

[Joshua0213]

1 and it really didn't teach me anything I didn't know already

[OG956]

I had 1 broke up, and I learn 2 not trust other people easily. So since my last relationship I'm gonna stay on my own (only with my friends and family).

[Anonymous]

Several, and I learned that women cannot be trusted.

[Anonymous]

Too many before i found out they are all gold diggers.

[menina]

I've never had a breakup.

[MannMitAntworten]

Ultimately to remain single. So I am done.