How our life today worsen if you got a divorce? What are you worried about with this divorce?
What are the ways that a divorce would hurt your life and future?
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I can't speak for women.
But for men, you lose half of all you bought and saved for during the marriage which tends to be a greater percentage than the wife. You lose all your investments you paid into 100%, unless your attorney can negotiate a lessor amount.
You tend to lose your kids. Most try to keep standard visitation, but it's hard. For many dad's they have to go through their ex's boyfriend or the step parent punishing their kids. You have to wonder if they are getting beat up or molested and feeling perfectly powerless to help.
You pay child support and half of all medical and non-standard expenses like school supplies and activities. This is until they turn or 18, or 22 if the child attends college in most states. Sometimes the primary parent alienates the father by talking badly, and the kids begin to hate and avoid their dad. In a silver bullet divorce the dad is falsely accused of sexually or physical abusing the kids which forces supervised visitation that the father pays to see his kids an hour or so every other week. The father gives up shortly as the who affair is awkward for everyone.
The extreme loneliness can cause depression and anxiety. In many extreme cases suicide. Sadly most end their life after a year, and is not counted as divorce suicide. The problem is not well understood, and most assume men will seek out therapy if troubled. This is rarely the case.
Most divorce guys will lose a lot of friends, especially common married friends who will break compelled to choose one or none as divorce from marrieds is seen as contagious.
Most divorce guys will self medicated with drugs and alcohol during the early days of being alone. This can turn into PI's and DWI's, and their extreme drinking can be extra dangerous for deadly poisoning and falls. If you ever see the quiet guy at the end of bar, that's the newly divorced guy just trying to forget.
And with the stigma of divorce, many guys race off to get back into rebound relationships and remarriage that also end badly.
Sadly the kids lose the most. They lose a good father figure, most are raised by single moms who try their best but often come up short. Statistically fatherless homes have way higher rates of children who get caught up in the criminal justice system, drug and alcohol abuse and better chances of failed marriages of their own to repeat the cycle.
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I'm yeah. Don't get married. Just don't. Seriously what's the point? Even if your best friends while the relationship is good, don't count out being mortal enemies when you find out about infidelities. Marriage is basically an Ace in a woman's back pocket or a trump card honestly. The only way to ensure equality at least as far as each other's possessions, money, assets are concerned their wouldn't be an issue. What's yours is yours and that's it. Children? Now that's different. Mother's that are feeling insecure or don't like the fact your child has a different last name than you? No worries. Instead of getting married, go to courthouse and have your last name legally changed. No marriage. Looks like u are. Everybody is their own.
I’m not getting married thankfully but definitely the cost, if you have kids it will affect them emotionally and physically, maybe you won’t find someone else worth going through that process again, maybe your ex spouse will be a piece of crap. In my personal opinion divorces have their benefits if it’s just something that isn’t working out
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I would love to answer but I’ve never been married or divorced
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I can answer this from a personal perspective many years ago now , but still agitates me. The only reason all these celebrates can just move from one to the other , spitting out children along the way is.. MONEY $$$$$ yep cold hard cash.
And you need to be seriously rich , not just a little rich.
What does it do to you? Well , as I said , its costs a plethora , but it destroys your trust in commitment , makes life incredibly difficult for children. Both my children ( 2 girls ) and myself , enjoy seeing a phycologist ( not together ) , now Im not saying you shouldn't anyhow , but this life circumstance was a big part of it .
Not my doing , but both my daughters blame their mother for using various manipulation tactics , which I always knew she was doing , but could do nothing. Now most males , like to fix things , many women unfortunately ( and some men ) will try and manipulate.
So in essence , the process is always ongoing , and its become far worse , children often used as a pawn , life long , I would not wish the process on my very worst enemy. -
From experience, I can say the best thing is to avoid marrying someone who is toxic or abusive. There are some amicable divorces but they are rare because usually one or both people are toxic or crazy. A divorce that is rough is probably as stressful as surviving cancer and you can count on legal fees approaching or exceeding six figures. You may give your ex more than half just to save on legal fees.
If you earned most of the income, especially if you are a man, you might have to pay alimony in addition to child support. You could end up supporting your ex and her boyfriend until you are 65.
If you are a man you will most likely have less custody of children. If your ex is toxic, they’ll be with a toxic parent most of the time.
You might lose most of your friends, especially if you are a man who files for divorce (only 20% of divorces are initiated by men and it is stigmatized). Your ex might defame you and people might believe him or her. This can affect your employment prospects.
If your workplace is demanding, the responsibilities of having custody of children while on your own can affect your career.
Bright sides: If your marriage is so bad that these sorts of consequences are worth facing, you will have a chance to distance yourself from an abusive or hostile spouse. If you were degraded in your relationship, your children will have a chance to see you without someone disrespecting you 24/7. If you don’t rush into relationships immediately after the break-up (almost always a mistake) and avoid turning bitter, you have a chance to have a healthy relationship with someone who treats you well and that can be a positive example for your children. Also, you will find out who your real friends are. -
If I had gotten married and gotten divorced, I would worry first about losing my family. Kids above anything if I had em.
Then I would worry about losing my home.
And then I would worry about being able to stay employed or get employed, without a place to clean myself or my clothes.
If anything my first question would be why? What happened? Where did all my efforts go?
Then I would wonder how I could keep contact with the kids if I had them
Then I would worry about where I would go.
Question... You aren't using this to ruin somebody's life are you? -
No happy marriage ends in divorce.
When a couple gets divorced, it's a good thing, for both parties. That's not to say it doesn't hurt, or suck.
But if you've ever seen how a couple treats each other in the months leading up to one of them filling for devorce, then you know it's painful and awful to watch. -
I mean depends on whether you have kids and lots of assets. Also depends on how divorce is handled. If lawyers get involved it can get messy and somecone could lose lots of assets and custody of children. But if handled ameniably then it is not so bad unfortunately you still got to start back over in love department.
- 1.8K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
I got divorced a couple years ago. Heartbreaking. For us it was a simple process, since we did it ourselves, without attorneys. We both walked away without taking anything from each other. We get along great.
Being alone was the hardest part of it. But I'm in a relationship now and its going great. Life isn't too bad now. -
The court sides with the woman and forces the man to give her everything... Even when the woman is in the wrong. The court doesn't care. The woman has a vagina, and is "weak and needs protecting". Men refuse to get married for this reason, and I laugh my ass off at any woman that thinks that's wrong.
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I’m divorced, however it was very mutual, we are still good friends.
zero financial impact, emotionally it was a roller coaster for us both but it was our best move tbh. -
The cost of maintenance, rights to my pension etc would basically mean I would no longer be able to ever retire so it would basically just take my future from me.
I'd rather die than live as a slave so I think if I ever went through a divorce I'd just off myself. -
Marriage is something I'd only do once as it's a binding of souls in my eyes, vows mean a great deal to me so a divorce would be very devastating. I would be most upset that I had such poor judgement in a partner than anything else.
- 662 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
My wife and I have been married for 25 years and we have built a pretty nice life. We have ben planning for the future since we got married and if we got divorced a lot of that hard work would go down the drain.
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Parents got a divorce. But my family operates on an 8yr old level. I don't wanna explain. Just you know sometimes you do all you can and sometimes you can do better. If you two can't connect on most levels then unplug no matter what. Kids will catch up just fine.
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Don't Really Know. And It Doesn't Really Matter , Got to take them on Anyway , so might as well only Think about it one Time InStead of 2 Times
- 731 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Well I’m broke and trying to start over and still trying to figure out how I will get a house again, it’s not easy meeting someone that is a good match again and I some women don’t want someone that had kids even if they are grown
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I came close to getting a divorce but we managed to work it out. It's expensive to get a divorce
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My parents got divorced and it changed and damaged me physically and emotionally. But now I just cope with the pain
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I’ve been divorced 8 years this September. It was extremely stressful and difficult at first being alone, but it got better as time went by!
- 324 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Never been married, but I would worry about loosing everything.
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I'm married, and I don't want to think about divorce
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For a woman it probably will not do much damage, other than emotional. For a man, it will ruin his life financially, especially if their are children.
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