How to get a guy back that you rejected when he asked you out?

[Anonymous]

he asked me out, and I said I didn't know.. and I have no idea why I said this. I'm trying my best to get him back but he isn't really giving me anything. do you think he won't ever give me a chance or what? from what I've heard he is telling people he isn't interested in me anymore, and he doesn't know what he wants. and I don't know does he have a right to be upset?

[Anonymous]

First, don't beat yourself up. Just come to terms with why you rejected him in the first place. If you don't know why you rejected him, then you can't know why you want a second chance. Secondly, consider whether you want to enter into a potential relationship with a guy who is incredibly sensitive. It's his right to deny you a second chance, but I personally would step away from a guy who dramatizes and internalizes your behavior as though you rejected him on purpose. It is a bit immature considering he appears to allow you SOME precious contact time. If he truly wasn't interested, he'd cut off all contact. You have to remember that the two of you were not in a relationship, and you had every right to be unsure about dating him at the time - no matter the reason. Keeping all of this in mind, do not kiss his ass like you have been - you're only confirming to him that you were in the wrong. You weren't. The timing wasn't right and if he respects you, he'll respect that. Whether or not he still wants to date you, is up to him. Put that ball back in his court by telling him this:

"Listen, I regret not accepting the chance to go out with you. All I can say is that the timing wasn't right for me, and I'm sorry if you felt rejected. I'd love to try again if you're still interested. If you've moved on, I understand and wish you the best."

Then drop it. Don't call/text/stop by. Let him think it over and if he chooses to give you a second chance, he will let you know. The important thing here, is that you don't try to push or manipulate him. You have to give him the power to make the choice. Don't worry about lessening his fear of rejection. Assume he is a perfectly capable man and allow him the opportunity to be one. That is all you can do, my dear.

[Bear_of_Death]

Your answer is immature: "blame the guy". Grow the fuck up.

[lolli]

I don't know if you can. For some guys, you reject them then you are forever cut off.

[Shaun]

Bingo. Today she doesn't like me, tomorrow she likes me, day after she doesn't like me. Who needs it?

[Asker]

uh what?

[Bear_of_Death]

Asker, if you don't get that, you have zero common sense.

[confusedguy20]

Don't understand why you said no...I think something like this happened to me once. I was incredibly certain I was going to get a yes based on her behavior( she always would act weird sometimes, bu I always would catch her staring at me alot,would look down and blush and have a big smile on her face when I would talk/approach/walk by her, would sometimes act nervous and couldn't hold eye contact, even asked me to sit down and eat with her a FEW times, but the way she asked was really indirect) but after I asked the girl to grab breakfast after with me a she started acting nervous and gave a really awkward and embarrassing(more for her than me) excuse...

I couldn't understand it at all. I wanted to try again because the thought crossed my head that maybe she was nervous or something or didn't see it coming at that moment, plus I did ask her in front of a few of her friends who I don't even know.But after that weird moment, even though I keep on talking to her now and she still acts weird, its been really, REALLY hard to try and ask her out again, because now I was more unsure if she liked me and confused than ever, not to mention it hurt my confidence.

So if you really wanna get this guy, your gonna have to explain everything to him, because he's probably hurt and really confused, and no matter how many times he thinks about it he won't be able to shake off the feeling that trying again would be a bad idea and would make him look like a creep, because for us to assume that you like us despite a rejection feels like overthinking and irrational.

[Asker]

got it, so he might still have a tiny bit of feelings left for me you think or even if he sais he doesn't he could just be saying that to kid himself because I know he really did like me.. and I keep asking him to come meet me somewhere and to hear me out because I care about him and I do like him and I want to be with him I have told him that over text but he sais he doesn't trust me. so I don't know, should I just stop texting and leave it up to him now to set something up if he wants to talk?

[confusedguy20]

He'll probably still like you for awhile, but he's going to have a hard time trusting you now...maybe try talking to him in person? Or if you both have a mutual friend maybe they can help...otherwise if neither of the above works, I would just stop contacting him and give it some time, and maybe he'll come around and realize, and if not, then move on and don't make the same mistake next time.

[Asker]

well thanks for your advice. wow this sucks so much. and do guys usually act liek this upon rejection or is he over exaggerating becuase he won't call me back, he refuses to meet me for the past 4 days, and I feel like he hates me. I keep asking to meet in person so we can TALK, and he can hear me out. I feel like he is totally dismissing me and doesn't care at all about my feelings, even though I think deep down he still does, but I'm not too sure.

[confusedguy20]

Some people don't handle rejection too well. Maybe it took a lot of confidence for him to ask you out, can't really say every guy is different. Like I said, he might have trouble trusting you now, doesn't believe you, or think your screwing with his head/playing games or something. Or a backup plan like lots of other people mentioned. Stop calling him and see if he comes around. If not move on.

[Asker]

well he did basically respond to me and said I'm a great girl just not for him. so basically he has ended it, and he said yeah things would of been different if I said yes that night instead of idk. I am thinking of texting him and being like I hope you don't regret giving me another chance or something, or no?

[Melisa234]

I wrote comment i see its not added so i will gry again

[Melisa234]

I was that girl befor... I liked guy very very very much, he was very smart , strong minded Man, in my eyes he was hero , that's why i was very shy and i didn't looked at him. He was making me lose normal thinking, i got scared and mad at myself why im crazy when he is near to me... That's why i tried be cold and make distance... When i was looking at him i wanted kiss him so much, but because i was pushed away befor by another guy i didn't want feel the same pain... that's why i was looking at the floor...
Next thing was i compared my status to his... He had a good job , but i was just simple artist.. he worked at IT... i thought maybe he will be ashamed of me in front of his familly or work friends...
Once when he invited me to dinner i refused because i had no money but i was shy to tell him this...
After 4 years i wrote to him... i knew it was too late but i couldnt stop thinking about him... even right now i have still feelings for him...
I was thinking two years befor i rewrote to him, so it was not emotions but mature decision. Ehhh if he only wanted meet me , but he said strong no... I didn't tell him i have feelings for him. I think so i was and still in love with him but i was scared i will be rejected again and didn't say a word to him about my real feelings...
So for me its not irrational or overthinking
I was just scared and insecure.

[Wanted_Skp]

@Melisa234
I want to ask you this. I see a girl who likes me and somewhat she gives me kinda slutty vibes. But when I approach her she acts awkward, scared, cold. I offered her for a coffe date which she outrightly rejected. After that rejection she was not no where to be seen about a week then she was avoiding at first and now I observed that she was again trying to get my attention by purposefully standing in lobby so that I could notice her but I ignored. When I read your answer I realised that she was doing the same things as you mentioned. I know she likes me and she is quite excited girl but somewhere I feel that I am not doing what I am supposed to do. So supposed, if I were that guy with whom you acted cold or distant, then what would you want that guy to do for you so that you could be comfortable with him. That both of don't just live in their mind or imagination world but rather enjoying in reality. What should I do that things workout the way both should want it..

[Prof_Don]

If I were a guy...i'd ignore you. I approached you as a dating prospect, & you turned me down. So, "on to the next prospect".

Most guys have too much pride to "take back" a girl that rejected them. What is most likely going through this guy's mind is:

...that you're changing you mind because you shot him down to date SOME OTHER DUDE, & that guy rejected you, so in his mind he's your "Plan B", the "second choice", the "backup option". No guy wants to be the backup option.

Imo that is why he's being so cold-blooded; remember YOU rejected HIM. I say move on, because he definitely isn't thinking about you, which in his mind is nothing more than some girl that rejected him.

I may get some thumb-downs for being so blunt & harsh, but I had to say my piece. Think before you respond next time, ok? :)

[Shaun]

Or she just craves attention and as soon as she gets her ego boost, she's going to run cold again. Either way she's not a good prospect.

[Asker]

well thanks. and yeah I feel really bad, about this. like it has hurt me a lot more than he thinks and I do really care about him. this sucks so bad! I don't think he will give me another chance.. guys wouldn't usually do that right? give a girl a second chance even though I told him I wanted to be with him!

[Eric644]

I don't know how old this question is, but you probably made a huge mistake!!! He is probably having very bitter feelings over you rejecting him. All I can say is you probably can win him back, but you are going to have to work hard at it. You are gonna have to explain why you rejected him and say "I was stupid'. You are gonna have to beg on your knees, buy him something that reminds him of the time you had as friends and attach a note saying that you would want to be more than friends. When you finally get him to talk to you, you are gonna have to pour your heart out to him. Some say this is desperate, but it actually worked for a few friends of mine (they were rejected by girls they liked and the girls realized they made a huge mistake, they ended up winning them back)

[Lovelesspassion]

... You have a chance...

But you will have to work at it..

Send me a private message and I can tell you what to do ... if and only If you really want him back.. Because if you reject him again even by acident he will be ticked and it will be over.. Do you understand...?

Also do you understand what he's thinking right now? This is not just about you..

[Asker]

are you serious omg please inbox me now! we were suppose to meet today to talk but most likely he won't text me to meet up because he has been promising that we would meet up and talk about stuff but he sais he is always busy.

[Lovelesspassion]

Good you past the first issue you have your letting some else help withou being anonymous.. This shows you belive in your self even if its just a little.. Next..

I sent you a message with what you need to do.. But I forgot if the letter works and he meets you be humble not apologenic to many sorrys is just annoying.. Explainyour self even if it was in the letter doing it in person counts again..

[summerrose145]

can you please help me as well?
i didn't reject him... he interpreted that way... and i couldn't get it right...
i just had to say sorry, sorry, and sorry...

[1770810]

Girl I am going through the EXACT same thing is you, and the worst part is I know I'm not going to remember this guy when I'm like 40 but the way he said made the shard cut DEEP. And the worst part is I see him everyday (except weekends). And the only person that I am really talking this with is my little step sister. Yea we don't judge. Anyways I wish I could talk to my older step sister ig,(Just bc she has more experience). But the problem is I feel like she is going to judge me for it. I also can't talk to my teachers about it because, I am not close with any of them. SO PRAY FOR ME!!!

[Anonymous]

Rejection is never easy for anybody. Trust me he's telling people he's not interested in you anymore as a defense mechanism to protect his pride/ego. You have to make it perfectly clear that you want to go out with him maybe even spell it out for him literally, and if I were you I would do this as soon as possible before he really moves on.

[Asker]

your very right. and trust me I've been doing as much as I can. texting and calling he isn't answering my calls and my texts not much at all. ugh I tell him I care about him and I want to be with him and I'm sorry but he isn't saying much or beleieving me? idk.

[hALLDAY]

Chances are, it will never happen. You were given an opportunity, it was missed. Move on, nobody likes to be a second option.

[Asker]

:(

[Bear_of_Death]

Yep, you were given a chance and you threw it away. We don't take well to that.

[DocClassic]

i wouldn't give you a chance, but that's just me. and I wouldn't say he has the right to be mad, but he has the right to not like you...

[Asker]

yeah he seems preety upset.

[Anonymous]

Probably won't happen. He's going to feel like he was your back up plan no matter what you do or say. He's no doubt lost all romantic feelings he had for you anyways. Just move on to someone else like he is.

[kaviraaj]

its entirely dependent on your signals

make him feel that you want him back

then he will be with you

[Asker]

well I keep asking to see him and talk with him, and he isn't really down for that it seems at all.

[kaviraaj]

let me tell you one thing

as he already expressed his feelings you have rejected him so he will definitely not respond to you in short time

its your thing to make him feel that you like him

better express your feelings directly and tell him why you have rejected him in past

all the best

[Asker]

wow thanks. if he only knew how many sleepless nights I have been having I have cried so much. I miss him and I have told him that in texts because he doesn't answer my calls. what the hell am I suppose to do now? should ijust wait for him to set up something if he wants to talk because I don't know what else I can do.

[Bear_of_Death]

No, you do not get to cry. YOU rejected HIM. YOU are not allowed to have hurt feelings for your own mistake.

[suavaye]

tell him yu don't know why yu turned him down and yud like to do something sometime, simple as that

[Asker]

i did.. and he isn't saying much. at all :(

[suavaye]

hmm. he could have moved on or is playing a mind game, either way yu could stay your ground and maybe hell come back

[Anonymous]

You don't know why you turned him down if you liked him? Because you're dumb maybe?

[Asker]

yup very dumb :(>

[Shaun]

Some people can take a hint and no for an answer.