He's never going to commit himself to me, so why am I here, please read the whole thing even update the question?

Anonymous
So I I literally just got my wake up call, like earlier in this morning. I finally see now, what everyone has been saying. My friends with benefits really only keeps me around for his convenience. He tells me, how he misses me when he returns back after a year or a few months of him being absent. But he's only saying that, because he miss the sex, not me. He says things just to keep me interested! he sure do know how to mix and crumble up my feelings. But truth is. I'm no longer crying, I'm no longer going to be mad and I'm definitely am not putting time and energy into him anymore. I can sense, that there is another female around him, who he is more emotionally and physically attracted to. So I'm not needed, we don't even talk the same. And the last thing, that I don't want to found out, that he is in a relationship with someone. But anyways, the crazy thing is, he knows that I have feelings for him, I'm sure he's aware of that. But (2021) makes it officially 8 years! and we are still in the same place. But truth is, if he we're to ask me later on down the road to date him. I would tell him No. I don't truth him, nor do I want a cheater or a male whore. I'm to old, for this SHIT! and it's time to move on. He already made up his mind. So I'm moving on. Some people have mention to me how I should sleep with him to pull back his energy to me. Yes! that would work, but I shouldn't have to f*** a guy to get him back to me. I have been his sex slave for years as it was. I'm done. His new BITCH or old one, can keep him. It hurts to know, that I actually wanted him and wanted a relationship with this F-boy. I'm upset more with myself- because 8 years has been nothing, and is really hard to hate him because of the amount love I do have for him. And it's difficult try not to cry. Because I invested all this time and I get nothing. But No-more! I'm dome.
Updates:
20 d
How do you officially stop loving someone and caring?
He's never going to commit himself to me, so why am I here, please read the whole thing even update the question?
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