The words "I love you" are breaking my heart! How to make him understand I can't commit to him?

[Anonymous]

I love him. He is my best friend. We became lovers. But we are currently living in separate parts of the country. Things seemed to be going well for the 1st 2 years with the occasional hiccup. We made plans for a future but then 3yrs in life happens and things go astray. A serious illness in my family is consuming me. I am now in charge of managing everything. My family's well being is on my shoulders. Its turned my life upside down. It has changed my perspective. To add to this those hiccups I mentioned earlier keep reoccurring. Now let me say we have had arguments with stronger tones but never do we yell. We don't fight bitterly or rudely. We keep our heads. But what he has done was a trust breaker for me. I have asked him more than once not to do it. The last time he did it I told him it WOULD BE the last because if it occurred again I WAS DONE. Well it did happen again. I now have tried many time to tell him we are done but we are going around in circles. He begs for a friendship and I say yes. he goes right back into talking about a life together telling me he loves me want to hold me and make love to me. Its stressing me. I love him but I can't commit. right now my life is all about today. I dont know tomorrows. The stress I am managing has me only on trying to get by day by day. he wants me to think of a future. He is talking to friends and family as if we are still dating. he's telling me they are excited to meet me and my heart breaks for him. I dont not love him I just feel we need to stop be realistic. I told him we should date other people. he's living in a fantasy world. He doesn't even hear himself. He is speaking about moving to a city in 3yrs that I CAN'T move to. Its hard for me to get through the weeks apart now. I can't DO IT for another 3 years plus 2 more years before we would finally be able to live together. Total of 5 more years. Why won't he wake up? Every time he say I love you I feel my heart breaking.

[Friendlybro79]

Make a complete break from him if you feel this is what you need. He needs to understand it's over. You can't expect someone to wait for you while you sort out your personal matters, no matter how tough they are. Tell him you can't be even friends. You're gonna lose your friend but if you do not love him then do it.

Don't beat around the bush. You can be nice but be firm by saying I'm sorry but I do not want a relationship of any kind right now and I don't want you thinking that's going to change one day.

[ohshee]

Just what you just told us you have to explain all that stand and say that I can't do it this not me don't try to push me don't try to change my mind let's just be friends and see where it goes somewhere down the line but right now you cannot commit to anything not even yourself

[Asker]

Good advice

[ohshee]

Thank you

[Waldoe]

tell him that you are going to start dating a Man that you just met, tell him "I have told you it is Over, so I do not need to explain anyth8ing to you. Have a good life, goodbye"

[Asker]

Thank you

[Waldoe]

Hugs, expect him to respoind with desperation... it is NOT you responsibily to appease him.