Do you think that it is the "marriage institution" that is causing divorces and if we got rid of it, there would be less divorce?

[Anonymous]

[Shootingstars21]

I think people, especially women get so caught up in the fairytale that is marriage that they think it's smooth sailing as soon as they say "I do".

ITS NOT. It's a lot of hard work because you think you found that one guy who is going to give you everything and when you think he truly loves and cares for you, it will bite you in the ass. Trust me. Women don't do divorce just to divorce or get money out of it. Like another said on here we usually do because of infidelity on the husbands part. There is a fine line between cheating whether it be physical or emotional so you need to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to that BEFORE you tie the knot. How do they feel about flirting with the opposite sex, touching, porn, strip clubs and my personal favorite telling you they love you just the way you are but then having secret social media accounts so they can like all the sexually explicit photos they see a woman post and follow her online without you knowing cause hey we're women so we must be stupid.

Marriage is easy to do and divorce is difficult.

Everything should be laid out on the table before you marry. You'll thank me later.

[Jesusisking]

Women lie

[Anonymous]

""Do you think that it is the "marriage institution" that is causing divorces and if we got rid of it, there would be less divorce?""

This is a wrong thought. Divorces will never increase as long as marriages based on love and respect, which are not based on self-interest, are supported instead of supporting a relationship based on the phenomenon of "man's money and woman's body". But the new generation sees living together without marriage as modernity and freedom. This is very false. It shouldn't be supported. This is a wrong thought.

[lightbulb27]

no, there are plenty of breakups before marriage. The problem is poor training, loss in values, introduction of different value systems, confusion/changes in roles, lack of communication skills, immaturity/selfish beheavior, compounding social traumas, polluting emotional relationships via social changes (e. x. women working leads to lot more exposure of men to women, introduces risks)... to name a few.

The number of divisions would remain independent. The goal is to build families and keep the together. That's what I'm trying and hoping to do as is my girlfriend. It's work, communication, change. But it's good, growth, adventure, love, support, encouragement, challenge, rest, affection, life.

[Anonymous]

Nope, unmarried people split up more frequently than married couples.

[UK-NaturistGuy]

Obviously since divorce is the termination of a marriage then not disposing of the “marriage institution” would reduce the number of divorces as you can not divorce somebody you are not married too.


I think the issue is not marriage being an institution but in fact the lack of commitment to the partnership and the way that we have become a society where people have become so focussed on themselves and their own gratification that they are no longer willing to compromise or work to fix the issues in a relationship. We have developed such a disposable consumer society that nowadays even what was previously normal to be a lifelong commitment has now become something to be thrown away as soon as it hits”troubled waters” and this is what has led to the increase in divorces and breakdown of long term partnerships even if marriage wasn’t established.

[BCRanger10]

No. That's like saying that the law, courts, and judges cause crime.

What I've often said is that the problem with marriage is not marriage itself, but it's with the people who are getting married. They look at marriage as something that they transition into rather than a decision. That's ultimately what love is.

People today put too much stock in things like compatibility, but that's just a basic framework, a guideline. This leaves them thinking that the amount of work, effort, and sacrifice that they put in will and ought to be minimal. Sooner or later, reality sets in and they find themselves unable, though I'd say more unwilling to love their spouse unselfishly.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is obsolete. Nobody today needs a piece of expensive paper, which certifies two people in love.
you love each other? Okay, Cool.
oh, you stopped being in love or one of you decided to drop the other? alright, there's no need to wait and then hand out a bunch of your money to undo the relationship with yet another expensive piece of paper. Just move on and that's it.
marriage is and has been about the money and even more so is divorce.
but of course people care about the money and claim they do not. I am at least honest, that i care about the money and that i am greedy.

[Danish87]

Well marriage brings responsibility, security and accountability.
Without marriage it's just two individual living and Sharing things, not as family. It don't give a sense of Family or what's something yours in true sense. That marriage binds you.

Now a days people just don't want to adjust that's the problem. And it's utmost required. Not saying for compromising but adjustment is must. So better get into marriage only after you are ready to commit and adjust yourself.
And yes Patience is required to set.

And if marriage turns into divorce, relationship have break-up.

[Anonymous]

No, the "marriage institution" is not the problem. Modern women are the problem. Three quarters if divorces in heterosexual marriages are filed by women. If we compare that to gay and lesbian marriages, we see that the highest divorce rate is among lesbian couples, by far. The divorce rate among gay male couples is the lowest of all. In other words, the more women are involved, the higher the divorce rate, and the more men are involved, the lower the divorce rate.

Part of the problem is our legal system incentivizes women to divorce. But the bigger problem is the selfishness and lack of commitment among modern women.

[btbc92]

Women do not divorce because the legal system incentivizes it. Women divorce to get away from YOU because you don't treat us good and or you committed adultery and or you caused the marriage to be irreparable. Blaming women for something men always had the power to do shows where you lack a history lesson. Modern women are not the problem. People who refuse to do things God's way are the problem. 1 Corinthians 7 makes everything clear in the form of basics of what a marriage is and is expected in marriage. The rest is between the couple. And between the couple and God. Gay "marriages" are not a marriage. As a pastor who passed away name Miles Monroe had said. Two men cannot make a marriage. And two women cannot make a marriage. Blood isn't spilled. That is why a man has a penis and a woman a vagina. But even they have their own problems. Marriage is not the problem because you have a man and woman involved. It is because people have forgotten what it means to appreciate each other's differences as well as learn how to love each other anymore. People today have not been taught what love IS. They think it's sex, sex, and more sex. And it's NOT. Sex is and should be an expression of love. But how many people are waiting for marriage to have sex? Not that many. How many understand what is expected of them for marriage? Not that many. How many have been trained, taught, and grew up learning how to handle marital duties? Not that many. One of my friends has been trained and taught how to be a wife. Many have claimed they wanted her as a wife, all of them so far have taken her for granted. Bad enough they have made their own mistakes. They always wanted marriage, and to be a young wife, a mother and have lots of kids, a good home, a family man, is a man of God, desiring her as she desiring home, etc. Men, I am sorry, but after seeing so many times of them getting hurt, a lot of you are responsible. You find a good woman and don't know to appreciate and keep your ends.

[btbc92]

Many women do want commitment. How come none of you want it? We cannot just commit to everybody. You wanted sex, many of them gave you sex when they shouldn't have, and you still treated them poorly. I never dated a man, had sex with a man, nor have I been married, or even gone on 1 date. Why should I, when I get called a prude, you wouldn't make good this or that, and all this other stuff, and how lusting is so-called normal and looking at other women is normal. HMM. Sounds like to me you don't want to be married to stay married, you want to be a bachelor forever, thinking marriage doesn't take work or responsibility. Sorry gentlemen, even your great-grandfathers knew not to be yellow. And my great-grandfather would have called y'all just that. "YELLOW". And if you don't know what that means, it means cowards. Truth is truth. I can understand many of you haven't been taught. But there is a fine line between never being taught and wanting to learn how to be there for your family and wife and how to take care of them, vs refusing to learn and expecting us to do everything. Women stop wanting to learn when they saw there wasn't a point being subservient to men anymore if we're not even treated like decent human beings. Last I check, we mimic your behaviors and call them normal. There are extremely few who aren't carrying for the sake of not caring as-is for you men. But it was more rampant in the male gender than it was for women. I have my Ancient World AND American history textbooks, please don't say it isn't when it wasn't. From what I have seen, even the bible included, most of this mess was caused by men. When God made clear what the standards were, many of you didn't listen. Meaning your ancestors as well as ours. However, since women didn't have much say at all or you risked death, who now is it fault?

[Opinion Owner]

@btbc92 Woah, talk about a wall of text! Do you know what a paragraph is? Sorry, not going to read all of that. But after reading the first sentence I know it's a waste of time anyway.

Until women own up to their role in the destruction of marriage, we will see the institution of marriage continue to decline as we see today. Marriage rates are already at record lows, and they will continue to decline until marriage becomes a thing of the past in another generation or two.

[btbc92]

Anonymous,

You're a grown man. If you don't want to read anything that I got to say you the exact same reason why I personally in a lot of other women would not want to be bothered being married or involved with a man in the first place. Marriage is at record lows because again a lot of you are having sex before marriage, screwing around, not taking things seriously, shacking up at 4 mad, having kids out of wedlock, and you think it's a joke. And even then you don't have the right to be blaming everything on a woman. Is very clear you're the type of man that ain't looking to have anything real with a woman. So I don't think you have the right to actually judge and talk about how you're not going to read all of that. That shows you like it the maturity to even understand what is being said to you. It's not my fault you don't want to listen. The fact that you did not want to read past the first sentence tells me you already got that attitude. You want to keep that attitude that's your right. But stop blaming other people for your attitude.

[Opinion Owner]

@btbc92 You're a middle aged women for Christ's sake, learn how to write. You are always posting giant blobs of unstructured text that no one wants to read, certainly not me. Here's my gift to you. Now please stop posting your walls of unreadable text in my responses.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zv4j7nb

[Adam1978]

It's not really the institution or marriage that is the problem. It's the outdated legal framework that robs men blind that cause the problem. If people could just part ways in a fair manner, the number of diverses would be irrelevant. Childsupport shouldn't be needed because the default should be shared custody.

[Anonymous]

Yes you are right. If no one had anything to gain or lose, what would be the point? Women don't really value commitment anymore, just a big cock and a big wallet, but some do value companionship. There are good girls in left in the world that really want to be loved, but marriage is just a contract that should be avoided if you have a house and money.

[Mangospacho]

It’s not the institution itself, divorce has exploded only in the past 60 years because of the no fault divorces. I could divorce my wife because she put the toilet paper on the holder wrong. You couldn’t do that 70 years ago.

[CTOswald]

Well, if divorce is the dissolution of a marriage, then, if I remember grade school math, then less marriages would have a statistically significant chance of less divorces... if I eat fewer prunes, I'll have fewer craps...

[HighValue]

If everybody kept their own assets (women couldn't take a man's home, money, car, etc.) then there would be far fewer divorces, mainly because the ones wanting to do that wouldn't get married in the first place.

[PAcc92]

The core concept of Marriage is that Men are not human beings but ATMs for Women to benefit from.

If we abolished Alimony, we'd abolish Marriage, because women ultimately only want to marry rich men.

[Asker]

What do men want?

[modeve]

There are thousands of couples who live without marriage. If someone intends to get rid of divorce (which is done after marriage), they can live without it. Such a relation is definitely divorce-free.

[Snakeyes7]

I don't think it causes divorces but it has made divorce easier than ever to make and having the same punishing effect. Yes I think if that was fixed, marriage would skyrocket overnight.

[Vegasrunner]

Its definitely an antiquated institution. Honestly marriage only benefits the government.

[LikeALog]

I doubt marriage is the problem. Too many people are self centered, selfish and only want what they can get out of the marriage.

[AviatorTom]

You know this is really a dumb question. If there was no marriage there would be no divorce.

[Asker]

There would still be marriage just no legal institution

[bamesjond0069]

Yes because right now the legal system encourages divorce. Being unmarried today can be more stable than marriage in many cases. Ideally though the legal system would encourage keeping marriages together because in the past it used to.

[Smashingdoozy]

Probably more so the pressure to get married in order for your relationship to be "valid".

[exitseven]

No, it is not the institution. It is the fact that people have unrealistic expectations and often get married for the wrong reasons.

[ChiPaPa]

No. If people would actually marry intelligently and not fuck over their spouse, there would be a lot less divorces. Get rid of divorce. People would actually have to fucking think.