Should I breakup just because he’s a bartender? (Page 2)
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
81Opinion
I would for a different reason - we're about the same age and I'm thinking towards having a family. If I were 22 years old then sure, I can be with a bartender. But right now it just won't cut it. But the opportunity to cheat shouldn't be enough to make him do it, did he give you any reason to not trust him? Or is it your problem? If so you need to fix it or you're not ready for any relationship.
Truth is, as long as things stay the same you're are going to be distraught at whichever decision you come to. You need to talk through your insecurities with either a level headed friend or a professional psychologist, and only THEN decide on what path to take.
I guess it depends on your countries habits in that field. Here he would be working all the time until closing and then help with cleanup for the next day. Before being tired and going home. So he wouldn't have any chance to cheat except for coworkers and those he will have independent of proffession.
I'm going to tell you what no one in this comments will. A man is only as faithful as his options and obviously a bartender is going to have options. You are not built to be w/ a man like that and are going to get destroyed emotionally if you dont breakup w/ him.
Not all bartenders are out there slamming ass every night haha, it's hard work and physically very tiring, he'd probably be too tired to cheat on you lol. If anything it's "easier" to have an affair as an office worker, because of the whole slow-burn effect of subtle sexual tension passed off as "just harmless banter".
So wait, you can't sleep at night when he's a WORK because you think he's going to be fucking other girls? At work? You think bartenders have time to fuck other girls while they're at their jobs working? In a room full of people who can see them at all times? And who are constantly trying to get their attention to. . . you know. . . work?
*rolls eyes*
I don’t see how being a bartender means someone’s a cheater? Lol
you’re being super insecure, if he hasn’t given you any other reason to be concerned about his loyalty than I think you should try to stay with him. Then again maybe you’re saving him the trouble by breaking up because he should be with someone who’s going to trust him
This is a you problem not a him problem.
If you have this outlook on people than you will always find reasons to break up with anyone. Also this paranoia has a way of backfiring on people.
I would sit down and calmly tell him you respect that he does what he needs to do for a living. Tell him you trust him but there is a part of you that feels paranoid. Politely ask him if there is a way he can put your mind at ease.
I think you need to seek professional help for your anxiety and insecurities. Regarding your boyfriend, whether or not you break up with him should depend on how much you trust him. If you really think he'll cheat, dump him and move on. However, if the relationship is going well, and these are just fears/anxieties/insecurities, it's a good idea to talk to him about it.
Well the main problem doesn't seem to be his job but it's your trust issues. I'd say you need time to work on yourself and get therapy.
If you need to breakup for that, that might be healthier. Just don't make him feel his job was the reason when it's really not. Don't make him feel bad for something he can't really control.
That depends on what conparative social caste layer that you belong to even for here in America when applying the caste system from the modern and prior days of Japan. However remember this, to want is to sin, the more of the aspect of want that you have, the longer that you remain in the reincarnation cycle when the aim is to transfer out of it.
So you can always break up when you're uncomfortable but it also sound like you need serious help with your insecurity issues and the fact that you are in constant fear of your partner cheating.
Is he giving you any reason for that?
Seems to me you have 3 options if you want to keep your hair...
1. Leave him due to your own issue2. Get past it and trust himor3. Put in more effort to make sure he doesn't WANT to cheat... Make sure he wants to come straight home because he knows what's waiting for him is better than any drunk bimbo
I don’t date and won’t date kitchen workers, camp workers, night shifters, and other closely similar types. It’s not their fault, it’s my triggers and that’s fine. No harm no foul. But I’m busy with other immediate priorities in my real life and don’t have capacity to take on trying to be okay with being constantly triggered 😤
All I can genuinely say is just be aware of your triggers and work with that. Give yourself space to safely be able to take this on when you’re ready.
Thank you so much for this comment. I couldn’t put my finger on how to describe it and you’re right. It’s triggers! It’s not his fault and I know that. I also know that it’s most likely all in my head so your description was perfect! Thank you so much
In your head yes, but not in a dysfunctional way. It’s just a step that has a few stages that you can go through when you are ready. Write it on a sticky note and visit that thought later.
if you do not trust anyone you are dating it is a sign you need to figure out who you want and what you need from someone. you said it yourself you have issues, and until you are able to trust him or anyone you need to be alone and break up with him too. no need to obsess over what may be, life is too short.
No you shouldn't break up with someone because of their job, however, I would suggest going to therapy and talking to your boyfriend about it for reassurance.
Since the two of you dated prior to him becoming a bar tender. I can’t say that you knew what he did before getting involved.
If his job really bothers you that much and you can’t sleep thinking about it. Not getting any sleep won’t make anything better between you two.
If you can’t get over it. Maybe you need to call it quits even though you may regret it in the future.
I understand you. They tend to flirt with customers or get harrassed by the customers. I can't endure it. It is like dating a stripper for me and has nothing to do with being incesure. Sorry that we ain't cucks.
1 questions? Has he cheated on you before? If not then why worry. You can only control yourself not people. If he loves you then just continue to be the best version of you. If he one day decide to leave understand that's just life.
You can, It's totally up to you. Lots of relationship problems can be solved by working on self. Hats off to you for acknowledging what you know about yourself. And it's not bad to have good exit strategy either. If I were you I would want to hang in there little longer in any tough situation to increase my resistance tolerance or you name it. Hence I would not want to become horrible person either.