I have been in a on and off abusive relationship with my now ex boyfriend for two years. Each time he swore he changed he went right back to being violent toward me so in other words he constantly manipulated me and lied. These past few months were no different. He hit me, I left for a while, he got inside my head and talked me into not losing hope In him and our relationship and to give him another chance and to be fair he did seem to actually attempt to change this time. Before breaking up and ending things today for good, he hadn’t hit me in months but he would constantly throw it in my face. Whenever I told him I still felt hesitation when it came to still being with him because although he hasn’t hit me, there was still a thought in my mind of “How long will that last?” Not to mention I still have never healed from the past from when he has hit me because of that I’ve lost complete happiness. Nothing can seem to make me happy anymore. Not my family, friends, my job and definitely not the person who caused me to be this way. I’ve become depressed, fuller with anxiety and sometimes even suicidal. It’s like one day at a time for me. All this is because of the traumatic memories and I just couldn’t do it anymore and I told him exactly what I’m saying in this post and his response was “I changed for you little girl. You’re not gonna play with my heart and give up on me.” Then he threatened to kill himself by saying “I guess the only way you’ll gain feelings for me again is if I die right? I guess that’s what I’ll do.” I hate to hear that but I had to block him and now I have to attempt to move on and get better but he made me feel horrible about the decision even though it’s for the sake of my mental health.
Do you guys think I was wrong and selfish for my decision to finally leave him?
