Is it ok to give someone an ultimatum or break up with them if they gain weight?

[Sarahslater3738]

Updates

1 y

It’s me that has gained weight…

[WonderBell99]

Ultimatums are a necessary evil at times, but not always. In this situation, if he refuses to work out and be healthy, you can break up with him.

On the other hand, if you have never spoken to him about hitting the gym, you could always tell him politely that he has to start exercising and being healthy. Weight fluctuates a lot for many people depending on their personal life situations. I, personally, wouldn’t give him an ultimatum. It will only destroy his self esteem.

If I were you, I would ask him if he wants to go to the gym together.

[Sarahslater3738]

It’s me that has gained the weight

[WonderBell99]

What did your partner say? In exact words?

[Sarahslater3738]

Well we were having sex the other day and I just came back from a one month work trip about 20 pounds heavier… he was complaining that my belly was getting in the way during sex and would like me to lose it.

[Sarahslater3738]

Anyways That was a week ago and I’ve been very comfortable with eating whatever I want and going to Starbucks several times a day where I just realized that’s most of my calorie intake. So w head sex yesterday and he complained again about my stomach and said if I don’t lose it he won’t have sex with me anymore…

[WonderBell99]

It’s best to break up with him. He was very rude.

[Sarahslater3738]

Yea I guess I wish he was nicer about the bigger belly

[WonderBell99]

You could always lose the extra pounds, and weight fluctuates a lot for many people depending on their life situations. It’s okay to gain weight, but as your partner, he should have been more polite about this. Break up with him.

[WonderBell99]

You deserve better

[Sarahslater3738]

Honestly I don’t feel like losing weight I’m not looking to diet and workout not my thing I’d rather just get a guy that is comfortable with a bigger girl

[WonderBell99]

Good for you. Break up with him though, you deserve better

[Sarahslater3738]

Any suggestions to find a guy that likes a girl with a big belly

[Smashingdoozy]

No just break up with them you're clearly not in it for the long haul

[Sarahslater3738]

I’m the one that was given the ultimatum

[Smashingdoozy]

Oh well then they aren't in it for the long haul

[Sarahslater3738]

He’s upset about my stomach

[Smashingdoozy]

Why? It's your stomach. If he loves you then he should love you no matter what. Fuck him

[Sarahslater3738]

I gained 35 pounds and he’s complaining it’s getting in the way during sex he tried to lift my legs up and out then on his shoulders and I had to tell him to lower them I couldn’t breath

[Smashingdoozy]

Losing weight should be something that you want to do for you. Not because he says you should.

[Sarahslater3738]

I know but ugh I dunno

[melnc]

My ex was overweight and it didn't bother me at all. Some people say beauty is skin-deep, but I say beauty is what you believe. If you want to breakup, do so. The real issue is with you, not with them. Breakup and give them the chance to find someone better.

[Sarahslater3738]

Guys don’t seem to like the weight I gained

[DavidRaul]

They arr too stupid to think that. Dont fall for a guy who judge your physical appearance rather go for a guy who respects you.

[Still-alive]

no ultimatums are NEVER a good idea in relationships. period

[RuthlessAggression]

Probably not. But if you want to be shallow, be my guest

[roy_ricky09]

That's a horrible thing to do

[clemdenim]

Ultimatums are not good