Do you think it’s best for couples to stay together even if they’re not happy in their marriage?

Question

They could choose to stay together for multiple reasons; these include: kids, the long drawn out process of divorce, financial matters, etc.

The question is, do YOU think that is best for them and everyone else around them?

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

I've never been married, don't have kids either... so I am not sure on this one, there would be many different circumstances as well to consider

I think that if there were young kids involved, it would be worth to factor that in and think through, for example... being not happy in a marriage could be one thing but what if you're not that unhappy either, maybe there's just a disconnect... and what if you're not happy with the marriage itself but you can still get along with your partner, for the sake of the kids

many couples do separate, before they divorce and split... some get back together after some time and others just won't

I could think of many different situations and then try to see it could go, if I were to keep it simple then I would just say no, I don't think it's a good idea to keep up with something that is not making you happy

TheSpaceGnome · Accepted Answer

No, but you also shouldn't leave just because you're unhappy, you only leave if the two of you aren't compatible/don't get along.

Life brings unhappiness, if the person you are with intentionally makes that bearable, rather than worse, than keep them.

This of course applies to their intent, if through no fault of their own they fall victim to problems, and you are left fixing them, it's important to understand that they aren't the source of your misery, despite how convenient that may seem.

SecretsofKB · Answer

Honestly, no. Life is too short to be unhappy or to make others unhappy. Sometimes it is just better if you're not together.

Anonymous · Answer

YES!
UNLESS its abusive.
Divorce solves nothing. Here is why.
*Self improvement
People are too busy working on others and NOT themselves. So the problems you think are left behind show up where ever you go. You have 0 control over others. You can only influence them. The best influence is example. Working on being better will make you an example. Change the things about you that you want and will contribute to you being the best person, friend, mate, help, teammate... as possible. They will appreciate it and be grateful. Appreciation and gratitude is a powerful motivator. Do this REGARDLESS if there is any appreciation or gratitude. Self improvement is a massive reward - period.
*Compliment
your mate on things you love about them and the things they do IMMEDIATELY and emphatically without over doing it. Appreciation and gratitude is a powerful motivator.
Let people see the changes in you, don't boast or bring it up yourself. People can change only if they want to. You do.
Don't push for changes in your mate. Only compliment the things you love. Trying to force someone to change will lead to change - externally of mates, but not internally change of mind.
*200%
the saying marriage is a 50/50.. is a lie. It can be at time 200% and that can be very rewarding. A wise man once said "There is more happiness in giving than in receiving" The joy comes when you are called on to give 200% by carrying the load of your mate during their distress. A real reliable support and trusted companion. "S/He is always there for me" Is a top quality.
When single we do 100% why do we expect marriage to be 50%? Thats saying the other person will do 150%. So be hard working and attentive. Seeking to do 200% will often get you used to doing that. But more often keep both out of appreciation and consideration doing 100% each.

These are the basics and strong roots of any relationship that have been tossed aside by the disposable give up society we now live in. Quitting ALWAYS comes up. Pushing through and remaining faithful and loyal is not replaceable and is priceless.

Just my opinion.

ohshee · Answer

It depends on how grown up they are you do with hard work you can make anything work but you have to compromise you have to give up self to and if you do not have that within you to share then it's not going to work you really have to see both sides and become both sides and adapt with each other but if you want something bad enough you can have it it's just what are you willing to do what are you willing to give to have it

Look at the fast food that we eat it's bad for us it's no good you don't like it you go to another place next time look at the things that we manufacturer if it breaks which it's only meant to last so long so we can buy new things everything's meant to throw it away now things are made so cheap and one more product in the world like that that's what our mindset is
You can always be replaced
So if you're brought up in that world you're not going to fight for what you want you're not going to try to get what you want because there's something always different and newer. That's not really me I need to try because we started out at friends no matter what we have to end it as friends are living like lovers and Friends but at least I can say I tried

At the same time there are people that are just completely toxic for each other and if they have kids they better not fight in front of the kids they better not talk to their kids about what a jackass the other person is because it's all going to backfire but you don't want those kids around toxic parents you want this kids to be around loving caring parents because that is teaching the mood to be in life and how to handle situations in life no matter what happens you can deal with it in a very calm Pleasant loving way but that it's hard to do for some people because they're only thinking of themselves

KelleyNice · Answer

There is no right or wrong answer to the question because every situation is different.

If a husband loses his job, money issues including debt calling night and day, the wife if not going to be happy with her husband and he is not going to be happy while he is sending out applications and applying for jobs and not getting any offers. However, after he and perhaps she find work, the money problems may disappear and things can go back to normal.

A short sexual fling can make either party unhappy, but after a few weeks he or she gets over his or her made and they make up. Maybe they are unhappy, but not terribly so and just getting along may be better than a messy divorce. Or if they have children, living together as house mates instead of a happy couple but maintaining a stable environment for their children may take priority over other choices.

However, if they were recently married and discover they don't like each other a quick easy divorce and inexpensive divorce will allow them to move on. Or if they have been married for a couple of decades and discover they are not happy, a property settlement and a divorce and then living alone may be best for both.

Espresso-Grande · Answer

I think life is too short to stay in an unhappy marriage if it can't be salvaged.

Everyone deserves to be happy.

Kids can be happy and thrive in a broken home if their parents are mature about it, and equally share the responsiblity of raising them.

Staying with someone you don't want to be with destroys the potential of finding the type of happiness you long for.

There's nothing more soul destroying than being in an unhappy relationship. It affects your emotional and mental health. Nothing and no one is worth jeaopradising your mental health.

dustybiker · Answer

No, I don’t. It’s not always healthy to try. Especially if children are involved. Choosing to be miserable doesn’t teach your kids anything other than to settle and give up, and keeps them in a toxic place. Realizing it doesn’t work and everyone would be happier moving on shows kids to appreciate themselves and everyone around them. Keeping respect is key.

xHoneyxBeex · Answer

No, if two people aren't happy together, the best thing they can do is end the relationship/marriage. Staying together "for the kids" is probably the worst possible reason to stay in a marriage. Kids are much happier with HAPPY parents who are separated than with miserable parents who are married and create tension in the home.

anon1903 · Answer

I regret my life because it's holding back my parents' divorce.

I think it's okay for financial reasons, and a lot of guys would instantly label me gold digger for saying this.

The countries with easier divorce proceedings are the ones I look upto.

Simply because if you don't love your spouse, split up.

Sarahslater3738 · Answer

My boyfriend has been very upset at me since I gained weight but I don’t want him to leave me and I’m not ready to start working out or dieting to lose the weight either I just made him take me shopping for some bigger sizes and I don’t want him to leave me but he says if I don’t lose 20 pounds at least by August of the 80 pounds I gained since covid he’s leaving me

dissociated_always · Answer

No not at all. My parents tried to stay together for the sake of me and my brother. (Although they did eventually divorce) and it was hectic on me. Constant screaming, fighting. I wish they just broke up sooner and didn't put me or my brother through that.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

For many people, staying together may be the better option, especially if they have children and they are not constantly fighting, and there is no intimate partner violence… yes, it may be best.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Nahhh, hope you liked my really in depth answer. :)

missmels · Answer

Nope. Obviously give it a full chance to try to fix, but if after that it’s still no, then time to let it go. A happier situation would be best for kids and yourself. Divorce doesn’t have to be a long process if both a realistic and mature. Being miserable is never worth it

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

Of course not. If they are not happy they should split.  Of course first they should try to work on the marriage. Try to get it back on track. But if nothing works...

browndog · Answer

If ended sooner means friendship is still there and helping each other is going to be better all round. If staying together longer is forced by wrong reasons than resentment and anger will be more painful especially for the kids if they get used against the other parent

exitseven · Answer

My parents stayed together until my brother and I were in high school. They did not do us any favors.

sheenagwapa · Answer

ask the help of marriage therapist at least. marriage for me is a sacred vow and so separation is not really an option but if it cannot be fix anymore then no choice but to part ways

RobT312 · Answer

I know a few friends like this... the pressure of kids and financials keep them together but they shouldn’t be together anymore
to be happy, I do think they should part ways, but not my place to say

driven159 · Answer

If you are unhappy, then everyone around you will be unhappy too

motownplayer2000 · Answer

No. That creates a toxic home and environment especially for kids. Either work hard at it, or leave.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

The problem is that if you live with someone for any amount of time, that law can consider you to be "married". As marriage rates have plummeted the govt. Has had to find ways to continue to take from men and give to women. No longer is a formal marriage ceremony and certificate necessary for the full power of the law to apply.

So, to answer your question, living together IS marriage these days.

DaveToo · Answer

That most certainly depends on what is making them unhappy, are there children involved? The question is too broad and there are too many variables. Have they considered counseling?

The_Naughty_Guy · Answer

I think it’s better not to stay together. It’s better to part ways

Pyrofox · Answer

I'd say be the bigger parents and hold off on the divorce after the kids have started on their own independence. Don't screw up their education for the sake of being separate.

Flower7 · Answer

No, not at all. They should break up before they waste any more of each other’s time.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I think they should seek marriage counseling or marriage therapy together.

EaterPeter · Answer

They should have clean exit strategy may be a prenup

altdbob · Answer

Honestly that is a question each couple has to answer for themselves and their unique situation. If they are always yelling and fighting it doesn't make a lot of sense (at least to me). I can think of reasons (not child related) how and why it could work but for me I would have to still be friends with the person.

LazerBean · Answer

It depends on the reason. People who divorce once often get divorced again because the problem is in themselves.

jahaims · Answer

What would be one positive to staying together? If you made sure you have the same values, morals and goals prior to marriage then the only reason things are going bad is the lack of effort from one or both of them.

Raaj4you · Answer

Yes, Marriage is all about compromises and adjustments. Patience is the key and relationships might improve over time. The truth is you will never find a perfect person and a perfect situation. You both have to make it work.

Crankor · Answer

If you don't want to be happy with that person then Def not. You'll just be miserable the rest of your coupled life or desensitize yourself into a toxic setting that will negatively effect yourself

HeartFullOfGlue · Answer

I say its best to split, life's too short for that kinda stuff

elsaloulou · Answer

no that's terrible  even worse if they have kids and they keep arguing. That's giving a really bad image of relationships for them kids

20yearsolder · Answer

No, life's too short to be unhappy

Cubus · Answer

In most cases - yes. If you leave your spouse after the first serious crisis, then why do you get married?

Xtendable · Answer

You mean, living in misery? Whats the point of that? A test in resilience?

anylolone · Answer

Yes. I mean OF FUCKING COURSE! And with that I mean "absolutely, are you so selfish because the pussy/dick you control are fucking bored because you are a monster?"

Agape93 · Answer

No. If you're unhappy, leave

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Marriage isn't something you can just quit. Either BE happy, or GET happy. Make it work. No excuses. Winners only in my household. #refusetolose

TenkRealist · Answer

Often, yes. Unless there is abuse or cheating.

AimeeKyle · Answer

There is no clear cut answer. It totally depends on the situation and if there are kids.

Andres77 · Answer

Depends on the couple.

AFretiredTXn · Answer

If there are no kids, then I 'd say give it up.

noohair · Answer

Every case is different. My daughter said I should have gotten divorced sooner.

RuthlessAggression · Answer

No, I don't think it's OK to stay together if it's a "bad" relationship

lisa123456 · Answer

I think this is wrong. Marriage without love is just like a game. Don't make do and then torture yourself.

cutepixiee · Answer

i dont think so, my mum n dad tried saving their relationship for more than 2 years but it got worse but finally they are divorced and happy

Ringstretch · Answer

Yes, things can so be worked out

msc545 · Answer

No. Life is too short to be unhappy.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Probably not. They're preventing themselves from finding happiness with somebody else.

Abdulwahh · Answer

First try to fix the problem to meet each others needs

mantelk · Answer

Only if they have children

alice55 · Answer

No kid better to break up, kid stay together

weirdoweirdo · Answer

No that's stupid

Anonymous · Answer

Hell NO. Life is too short for that.

Zolly99999 · Answer

It really depends on the situation

xJayleenx · Answer

Of course not

Tstrbrainer · Answer

No, it's stupid

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