Girls, what’s going through my ex’s mind? Is she going to give me one final chance to love her?

[Justanotherdumbguy]

I broke up with my ex twice, we’ve been apart over five months now. She was fully in love with me and I shattered her heart. She was an amazing girlfriend but the timing just wasn’t right for my journey, I wasn’t ready. I felt terrible but it needed to happen.

I finally figured out what I needed to about myself, and realized I am madly in love with her & attempted to reconcile 3 months ago. She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship and still isn’t as of a month ago, I hurt her too much & she just wants to focus on her career. But she says she still thinks I could be her person.

I’ve been trying to be persistent and show her my love and that I’ve learned everything I needed to about myself, & at the core of my being she’s the only woman I want to spend my life with. But she still isn’t ready to open up again. She hasn’t been talking to any other guys seriously from what she’s told me, & it’s been 5 months since the breakup. But i’m not sure if she was just saying that to make me feel better, we’ve been in brief conversations on & off for months and she knows I want her back more then anything. But she seems perfectly okay with not talking to me for long periods of time and ghosting me, although we have a snap streak of 130 days going if that means anything.

Then she finally agreed to come to my brothers wedding as my guest after like a month of me bringing it up. It’s 1000’s of miles away, 2 months from now, on a 4 day trip that will be very special for me and my family. And she knows full well that i’m deeply in love with her. I like to think she’s fully aware of how intimate the trip will be for us as well. I told her I bought us plane tickets and she seemed excited, then told me she ordered a dress for it and requested work off, but that it’s hard to get off (she's a nurse) and she might not be able to. But she’s been ghosting me since (minus the snap streak) & doesn’t seem eager to talk to me. I’m genuinely confused, I feel like she’s sending mixed signals.

[PrettyPriya]

Okay, so I have so many questions now of my own. The first is why are you asking for girl answers only? Do guys not have the capability of sharing their view and possibly their experience? That was the first thing I thought after reading your details. I’d advise in the future opening it to both genders to get maximum help.

So, she was madly in love with you, huh? You sure about that? Can you be? You can only guess. My guess is no simply from your details. Heck, you broke up with her twice. I don’t know a single girl (or guy for that matter) that is madly in love with someone that broke up with them once, let alone twice.

You have to understand that it may be that she is having second thoughts about the trip considering your past and the fact you probably broke her heart when you broke up with her, not once but twice. This may be reminding her that it was a volatile relationship. Maybe at the time of asking she really thought it would be a good idea.

The more it set in, she probably went back through her memories and remembered how she was burned, more than once.

[Justanotherdumbguy]

Thank you for your feedback. You’re right, I should have left it open to guys as well but the way I was thinking is that women would have a better understanding of her mindset. I’m not sure how to edit it or I would.

Also yes I am 100% sure she was madly in love with me, she’s told me multiple times. & I know she still loves me, but she’s keeping a wall up understandably. We hungout a few weeks ago before I left town for a month and we got along amazingly & told each other we still loved each other. I brought her flowers with a card & her favorite meal, & tried talking to her about us after we hungout all night but that’s when she told me she still wasn’t ready for a relationship. It made me really sad, so I asked if it was because she’s talking to someone else. That’s when she told me she was still too damaged at the moment to even consider being in one with anyone else because a part of her is with me, and still thinks we can end up together.

I know I messed up bad, it’s haunted me every day for months. I told her if she didn’t want to go on the trip that it was okay & I’d understand, but she really sounded like she wanted to. I’m going to give her some space to think about it, because I don’t want her to feel forced into going if she just thinks i’m going to hurt her again. I wouldn’t have invited her to my own brothers wedding with all of my extended family meeting her unless I truly believed that I want to make her my wife one day.

[PrettyPriya]

@Justanotherdumbguy

Unfortunately, it can’t be edited. That is one much sought after option users have asked for. Even as a moderator, I don’t have that power.

Let me give you exactly the kindest of a girl if I place myself in this situation. Okay?

I did love you. I want to love you. I try so hard to do it. When we are together, I’m reminded of how things can be great. You showed me with nice things, flowers, dinners, etc. All is good in the world.

Now I’m home. I’m alone. The excitement is over and the night is done. Now I’m thinking about how things always seem great and then end up bad. When will you go back to breaking my heart? Is it tomorrow? Will you do it before the wedding? Why am I risking this again?

Make sense?

[PrettyPriya]

Not “kindest” but *mindset