Break Up & Divorce

Am I ungrateful and/or delusional?

My ex and I have been broken up for two years but during that time we’ve tried to work it out so we’ve been off and on. Lately we’ve been off. I haven’t seen him since my law school graduation and we haven’t spoken in a month. I decided to move back home (across the country) and I’m back at my apartment right now to move out. My first night back, I went out with my friend for drinks. I got a little drunk and drunk texted him begging him for his help with moving because I’m essentially here alone. He said he’d help. He came over the next day to help and he told me he loves me but is no longer in love with me. I told him I was celibate but I gave in and we had sex. When we were done he said, “good thing I get bitches otherwise you’d have me whipped.”

I laughed it off.

that same night I told him I wanted to work it out and would be willing to move back for him next year. He told me he’s enjoying his alone time and not to move back because he wants to be able to get up and go when he pleases. I was definitely hurt.

I’m leaving tomorrow and he has made no effort to see me before I go. He’s going to finish getting rid of stuff in my apartment after I leave but told me to just leave the key under the mat.

I have zero clue how to feel, other than hurt.

Am I ungrateful and/or delusional?
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