Break Up & Divorce

Is this toxic or unstable or mentally ill?

This is my story. she was my real love. no girl ever attracted me like a magnet as she does. She was not magnet but a bright looking stone, which can even cut down a sword. I can look into her eyes for eras to come and seasons to bloom. She was nothing but pure happiness and love. however she never loved me but i was devastated when she left.

Years later the shining stone came back to me begging love. Her boyfriend left her. By then I had a serious relation and the girl was cheating on me. When she came back, I was nothing but lost, cold and selfish.

I was cold and rude. I used her weapons against her. The more was the hate than the love, without even giving her a chance to speak. I was rude and disrespectful. She was patient and loving.

She kept asking for love and me for sex. nothing happened. I tortured her emotionally to get nudes, she refused. I blocked her several times and unblocked. I gave her minimum time and attention, yet she remained faithful. Until the threshold.

Now she is gone forever. She gives her love to someone which I dont care. But I broke the very moment she gave her body to someone. I can't imagine someone touching her, kissing her, she smiling with them.

Why do I feel hurt to see her body shared and as they say, is it easy to find another girl, who will stay patient and faithful like her?

Is this toxic or unstable or mentally ill?
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