How to get out of a narcissistic relationship?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for around a year and a half. We live together. I still love him but know this relationship is not good for me, it’s been damaging on my mental health. He’s condescending, controlling, he has no empathy, he constantly threatens me.
Despite all this, I still love him. How do I get out of this? How can I leave him?

[mandyfire98]

It's never easy. I went through what you are going through back in college. I was with a guy that was a narcissist and it was a relationship filled with gaslighting and emotional and verbal abuse. Mentally he brought me down to always feeling like I was the one wronging him somehow and that I was always out of line. He'd have me so spun up I would always apologize to him and believe it was my fault. Meanwhile he would lie to me, cheat on me and then somehow it was all my fault.

The crazy thing was I got to this weird space where I didn't want to leave him. Even when I knew it was bad I didn't want to leave him. I craved him almost like a drug.

What helped me out of it was I told my friends and they saw how broken down and desperate I was so they helped me get all my stuff together and made a plan on how to get away from him. Your friends can actually help you in this situation. It's ok to ask for help.

Now he will try to pursue you and he'll try to sweet talk you and he'll try to lovebomb you. Do not listen to anything he says. He will try to pursue you really heavily because a narcissist needs to have that person to control and manipulate. So he'll be desperate to get you back. Don't listen to anything he says. You are and will always be better than him.

The important thing is to just get away completely. Your life will be so much better when you do.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Plan a day you know he won’t be home.


Gather your things and leave immediately.


Those are the words of my grandmother.

[Guy13]

First get organized with obvious: --Do not let him have an idea that you are unhappy and planning on leaving. --Take time to Plan if at all possible: --Where will you be going? --Saved Money... shared money access... cash in hands? --Shared Bills/Responsibilities (Lease etc), Have copies of all important documents? --Are you signed out on partners devices? Browser history erasure.. --Have you password changed your sources-Shared sources then the Narc will be notified of password change. --Tracking phone devices on phones and cars are not uncommon.

Consider these things and I am forgetting many off the top of my head...

[Anonymous]

I think you need to make a plan to move out when you know he is not gonna be around. If he loved you, he wouldn't be threatening you or acting controlling.