I want to contact my ex boyfriend after a year and a half of no contact. Should I apologize?

My ex and I dated for 2 1/2 years. He had a lot of child hood trauma and inner struggles with himself which came out throughout our relationship. He treated me poorly. I loved him so much but I was unhappy and didn’t feel fulfilled in our relationship. After we broke up we kept in contact for about 9 months and during that time he got therapy and he got sober.

The problem is that I had a lot of resentment built up towards him after all the times he hurt me throughout our relationship. I needed time away from him to heal. We got into a very heated argument, (probably the worst argument we’ve ever had) a year and a half ago and the last message I sent him was so mean calling him out for all the past things he did that hurt me and how he treated me. He was so delusional and acted as if I was to blame for our breakup so I blew up and sent him that message then I told him I don’t ever want to talk to him again. I blocked him and he blocked me.

Here we are a year and a half later, I’m healed, I’ve worked on myself, I haven’t been with any other guy in any way, not even talking stage, nothing. I spent this time apart trying to heal and fix myself and become better. I miss him so much and think about him 24/7. We wanted a future together and we both always said we’ve never connected with someone the way we did with each other.

I want to reach out to him and apologize for the last message I sent. He deserves it. I know it was hurtful. It was unnecessary considering he was already trying to better himself. I acted out of anger and being hurt which is no excuse. I don’t know if he’s forgotten about me and hates me. I just think things would work out between us now that we’ve both worked through our issues and grown as people. One of the last messages he sent me before I went off on him was “I love you and I always will”

Should I just let it be? I’ve been feeling him heavy this last week I can’t seem to stop thinking about him and it’s driving me crazy. I need advice please

Guy13

Influencer Master Age: 30

1.1K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

In your case it almost sounds like the final therapeutic step in healing. Why are you doing it? What's the worst case scenario? 1. Don't ever contact me again OR you become an acquaintance that has some remaining Value OR you become friends but not friends with benefits.

It is a long way from hurt to neutrality which sounds like is where you are. Close the book for good as I see it. Reach out and put this to rest? Where to go from there will clearly present itself. Good luck !!