What am I supposed to do?

[Anonymous]

So I broke up with my girlfriend over 8 months ago, we were together for over a year, well I broke it off because she’s a narcissist and an abusive one at that, well now she’s harassing me has been for the entire 8 months we’ve been apart,

It’s constant reporting, messaging under fake names, telling lies, begging me to come back, and coming to my house and posting cards and begging letters,

I’ve obviously phoned the police and ignored her attempts but the police won’t do anything they sent me to a domestic violence facility to help me but they wanted £1000 for them to do anything well I don’t own that kind of money I’m not rich, and I have absolutely no idea what to do about her, I was going to phone her and tell her to just f**k off but I was told by a friend not to do that as it will make her worse but how can I get her to stop? It’s really getting on my nerves now, I don’t want to leave the internet as I like being online but I don’t want to keep being reported and banned all the time. What can I do?

[Anonymous]

No response is best. Gather evidence. Keep reporting to the police. Record every encounter you have. Always let her be the angry aggressive and abusive one while you are always cool and reasonable. This is a common tactic, does all this mad crazy abuse to you and hoping to get you angry and give it right back to her then its the cops restraining orders, non molestation orders prohibited steps orders, maybe charges, maybe she instigates a physical confrontation and you end up hitting her and she's the victim.

Best to have no contact, don't react to anything, the less you react and the more desperate she will act to get the reaction and there you are recording as evidence even live streaming on Facebook her abuse.

[Asker]

I tried to get a non molestation order out on her but they wanted £1000 so that f**ked me up right there.

I keep thinking that that’s why she’s doing it so I’ll do something and then play victim. The police won’t take any of the evidence I had into consideration as it’s all under fake names, they said it might not even be her. 🙄

[Opinion Owner]

"I keep thinking that that’s why she’s doing it so I’ll do something and then play victim"
That's exactly why. No reaction no matter what. Grey rock her. It will bug the shit out of her until she does something real stupid. Narcastic people hate to be ignored more than anything.

[Asker]

That’s also what I’m afraid of, she threatened to get me beaten up and have my house set on fire, and yet the police still won’t help, I’m worried she will set my house on fire and then what? I’ll be on the street and that’s why really frightens me.

[aaron210419]

Block her entirely, change your number if you have to. It's the only way to get away from a narcissist, you can't feed into her games.

[Asker]

She’s reported me and got me banned again. 🤬

I have blocked her entirely I don’t do anything with her yet she just keeps on and on. As awful as this sounds but I pray every day that she’ll just die, then I’ll finally be free.

[aaron210419]

Changing your number will still be helpful, make sure she has no way of contacting you. Go through your friends list and erase anyone you don't actually know, she may have made a fake account so she can watch you. No matter what, do not talk to her or show her that she's able to get to you.

[Asker]

I have changed my number I did that not long after I got rid, I don’t have her on anything as I know it’s her I can actually tell these fakes are her, she’s done it so many times I just know, I don’t have her on Facebook or instagram as I blocked her and I block all her fake accounts as well, I made all new accounts under no names and yet she’s still finding me which is odd as I don’t put my name on anything only Facebook as you have to, I just can’t understand how she’s finding me and I can’t understand why she just doesn’t go away as it really is getting to me now.

[aaron210419]

It's about control with narcissists, I was married to one for almost 9 years and I understand how overwhelming it is. Maybe you could try taking some time away from social media, make your accounts inactive and take some time for yourself. More than likely she has someone that you both know that shows her your new accounts, they refer to these people as "flying monkeys". Do some research on narcissists so you can begin finding yourself again, narcissistic abuse is a real thing and can affect you for years if you don't do some soul searching. It may even be helpful to find a counselor, but first you have to put up this wall around you to keep her out even if that means deleting your social media for a while.

[Asker]

I know she has loads of people she talks to as she told me about them they’re all in America so I know they can’t do anything to me physically but I suppose they could online, I don’t know if she’s doing this to get me to flip out and cry victim or if she’s doing it because she wants me back, I’d never go back to her sod that, but it’s the constant banning, lies and coming to my house she’ll come here again soon with a card for Valentine’s Day and one for my birthday a week later it’s so so draining. And I’m getting so angry that I’m frightened of what I might end up doing and that also scares me.

[aaron210419]

Trust me I know how you feel, if she does come to your house don't answer the door. Send the message that you don't want anything to do with her. If you're afraid of what you might do then when she comes by call the police, even if they don't do anything it will show her that you're serious.

[KrakenAttackin]

That's tough. In these gynocentric days women can make up whatever story they want. Make sure to document her behavior each time it occurs so WHEN she accuses you of rape/violence, you will have something to show the problems you have had. Keep calling the police, not the date/time and who you spoke with. They will never charge her with anything but this documentation might just keep you out of prison.

[Asker]

She can’t accuse me of rape as we never had sex, I’ve told the police all what she’s doing and had all the evidence to back it up yet they said it would never stand up in court due to all the fake names she’s using, this is why she’s getting away with it for so long as they won’t even speak to her. I’m at a total loss now.

[KrakenAttackin]

@thevigilantfox. She CAN accuse you of anything and you would almost certainly be arrested on her word alone. What's more, even if you are able to prove your innocence she wound not face any consequences for the false accusations, AND many would still believe you did whatever she said you did. Be careful.

[Asker]

She can accuse but with no evidence she’s screwed, she’s telling everyone I’m a narcissist which I’m not, she’s the narcissist she’s also a nonce. With no proof the police won’t do anything, I had months worth of proof and the police still wouldn’t do anything so what hope she got? 🤣