How do I deal with my parents divorce and my my mum's new boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My mum divorced my dad last summer without letting me know.

No one told me until I came back home to visit and there was already a new man in the house I was so upset because it was just so unlike my parents and a massive shock to me someone should have prepared me before hand.

I love bouth my parents and we were an amazing family, everyone used to look at my family as what they wished there's was.

I thought my mum and dad would be together forever and it breaks my heart but there not anymore.

My mum told she was stick of my dad being a slob and making her do everything and talking to her like shit which she has got some valid points there. My dad is very traditional and assumes the woman should do all the house work. But my mother complied to that was very good at it and never complained before in there 30 years of marriage.

My parents are also very kind, sweet people and I hate how nasty this divorce has made them.

I came to visit my dad and he was living in a one bedroom apartment. I just burst out crying once I saw him and gave him a massive hug. I told him he needs to get my mum back and that I hate her new man but he told me I need to grow up and move on.

For my mum's boyfriend, I really don't like him. He's a massive creep and makes me want to be sick in a bucket. He is totally in love with himself too. I've been trying to scare him off a little and I've let him known I don't think much of him as a man. Some of you might think I'm being really horrible here but he took my mum as soon as he heard she'd left my dad so he knew what he was doing from the beginning and he's just a human ick.

He's part of the reason my family is no more and I want him to pay for it. He's so keen on me and my siblings moving are stuff out MY parents house not his too and I wonder why.

[lightbulb27]

first half of that... You are such an awsome daughter, very impressed!

This is the kinda stuff happens when people don't work on their relationships and go stale.. stagnant, won't change. So easy to fix, can see the signs from what you described, but they "ignored and sucked it up"... until the breaking point. Father pick up broom every now and then, give mom spa days off... whole different deal. etc etc..

I guarantee you buy a car and don't do any maintenance, it falls apart on side of road. Relationships... ditto.

How do you deal with it... love them both as you did. Pray to God for guidance... note God doesn't generally fix things people aren't willing to work on... that's miracles and why should God bother if they ain't gonna listen.

Boyfriend, I don't know. When I put myself in your shows... that make me sick. Your mom is filling a void, so I get that. Maybe just meet your mom one on one not with boyfriend for some time.

Sorry to hear, breathe...

[AviatorTom]

Try to accept the fact that it's your mom's life, and she's entitled to be happy, and t=if that involves a new boyfriend, so be it. Also keep in touch with your father. Remember that your parents got divorced, and that has nothing to do with you nor your relationship with your parents.

[Gent207-2]

My condolences for your loss.

The version of the family, you grew up with is no more due to the conscious decisions by your folks. What you're witnessing is the death and dying process of 30 years worth of good and bad memories and decisions. Their decisions led them here and only their decision canbring them out.

In short if you can, you need to gleam some wisdom from their mistakes and build your own life by avoiding their mistakes. You cannot resurrect this marriage anymore than you can scare off that creepy boyfriend.

If you can, move out and distance yourself as much as possible, do so ASAP. Avoid at all costs any petty drama and make it clear that the only team you are on is your own.

If you do all these things you'll be much better off.

[Marked_Man]

I'm sorry about your parents but unfortunately there's nothing you can do. It's between the 2 of them and probably there's other things you don't know about as reasons why they divorced. It is pretty shitty of both of them that they didn't tell you before divorcing or even after and your mom having a boyfriend probably means she had one before and that's why they divorced. Honestly, she sounds selfish and even if she wasn't cheating, it's still slutty to be with another man just after a divorce.

[exitseven]

damn thats rough. I was the product of a broken home too. It is not easy, You just need to live yoyr own life and accept that things will never be the same again. Stay close to your siblings, the will provide you with some continuity.

[cloud9vortex1234]

Many Traditionalist's love marriage until something like this happens. Why don't you tell your Mom's Boyfriends exactly how you feel about him. I think you will feel better afterwards. Regardless, it's your Mom's Life, not yours.

[Asker]

I think when I told him to fuck off and die was enough of a hint of how I feel about him 🤣

[cloud9vortex1234]

Why don't you steal him from your mom and then dump him?

[Asker]

Eww because he's ugly af and I have a man already

[cloud9vortex1234]

That makes sense. So your mom chose someone ugly? Another thing I would like to ask is if he is so in love with himself then how does he love your mom?

[megabamse]

Parents splitt and there is nothing to be done with it. You don't need to like their new love interests but be kind to your parents.

[jamesgoldman]

We'll see we it happened to me, I bought their wedding rings and left them to it because it doesn't affect me

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Try not to take it personally, be open minded, and supportive of both parents. You're most likely projecting your negative feelings on to the new man.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she was thinking with her vagina and not her brain. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do.. Selfishness and narcissism runs rampant in women like her.