My ex never talked to me again since I told her that I cheated her and I regret that. What to do?

Question

As I asked you before, I cheated on my girlfriend I regret it. When she heard this, she broke up with me and never talked to me since then. What should I do to talk with her?

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

recognize the issues you have that lead to this, suffer the loss, and make the changes you need to make in yourself. This is no different than any other relationship where... we learn about ourselves. There is no talking to her. Want to make a public apology, go ahead. You can do that in church... go up on stage speak the truth. Or mens group, video, whatever. just don't call her up...

In essence, you violated an emotional agreement. After doing so, she cancelled her side, per what is acceptable practice.

Thank your lucky stars she has exposed a part of you that you don't like, seek forgiveness from God, probably the only one that will give it to you... other than understanding people, and start life over again.

and congratulations, you've discovered some values... possibly... before it's too late to change your path. It could have been a lot worse.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

1. You regret that you cheated, or you regret that you told your ex?

2. Why do you think you deserve a second chance? This isn't all about what YOU want. In case you need a reminder, YOU do not occupy the moral high ground here!

3. Once upon a time, she trusted you absolutely, and you volated her trust. And in another question, you tried to justify cheating by explaining that the relationship was a long distance relationship. SO FUCKING WHAT? How could she ever again trust you absolutely? Do you get it?

Vesuvius87 · Accepted Answer

You don't do anything but let her move on with her life. If you ever try winning her back that's super selfish on your part. That means you don't care about her own happiness, even if that means not even having you as a friend.

I don't mind to be harsh but can you explain what exactly (besides just the ''falling in love'' infautation and butterflies in your stomach) makes you believe you deserve to have her in your life?

If she were to take you back wouldn't she be lowering her standards so much? You already reduced your worth. Why would she want to be with you when there are other men that don't cheat? What makes you better than other that don't cheat? If she never cheated on you, why would she settle for someone that cheated once?

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

You did a bad thing, you felt guilty and remorseful, you took accountability and owned up to your actions and now - like all morally correct people - you have to deal with the consequences of those bad actions. I would strongly suggest working on yourself, using this as motivation to make yourself a better man over the next year. Give her time to heal and grieve without contact from you, and in that time become a better man that is worthy of her, improve your emotional understanding and awareness, look into the questions of “who am I?” And “what do I want?” And “ Why  do I want that?” Do a little soul-searching because she’s going to be hurt about this for a while yet, and in the end you’ll be a better person.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Why are you asking how to stalk your ex? Come on move on, let her go. You screwed up, live, learn and find someone else or be single the rest of your life.

AviatorTom · Answer

You screwed up your relationship with her, and she ended it. Face it, she is gone. Don't try to talk to her. Learn from what you did and move on.

SakuraBlossoms87 · Answer

@fisher

1) What part do you regret? The cheating or your girlfriend finding out?

2) Of course she broke up with you, WHY should she tolerate you cheating. Once a cheater, always a cheater as the saying goes. Obvious by how you actually tried to justify your behavior in another question.

3) WHY should she talk to you? She trusted you, you broke her trust. As said once a cheater, always a cheater - and she is smart to realize that you will never contribute much value to her life.

Pegases · Answer

She did exactly what she should have done. Listen man, its over between you and her. Its not too often that I hear about women completely walking away from men that treat them like trash, but when I see it I applaud it, because it means she's not the typical modern woman that will stick by men that treat them like trash. The solution you're looking for is therapy. Until you get to therapy, and work through what made you screw up that situation, you'll just repeat this pattern with other women because you have no self control. And a man without self control, will always be a slave to his urges. So what you do now, is man tf up, lick your wounds, and take accountability for your actions. That's how you ensure that you don't fumble another good woman. Get to work, and get to therapy.

TalynMere · Answer

You don't. You did a big fuck up and might have deeply scarred her for a very long time to come.

She will spend years hating you and everyone around her. She will be distrustful and will not reconnect with herself to enjoy life freely again for a long time.

If you push it, you will make it worse. Even if you got back together, it's a kind of violation where she will have had to suppress her feelings to get back with you and have to feel like she was overreacting, which she absolutely isn't.

In my opinion, cheaters in a serious relationship deserve to have their skin torn off to teach them the damage they cause.

razelove · Answer

Well, first I'd ask why you told her you cheated. If you had a come to Jesus moment and realized you needed to change while making a clean break from other women, you could have kept that to yourself and not hurt her.

If you caught an STD, that's far more difficult to pull off, same with if you got caught in other ways. Regardless of what led to her finding out, she has no obligation to simply forgive you. This isn't an episode of fresh and fit, logically it is different for men and women to cheat as an overall picture. On an individual basis in each relationship, that doesn't matter.

1stupidrobot · Answer

Legally, ethically and in all other senses, you need to leave her alone. You need to respect her wish not to see you and her right to privacy, not so she'll get back together with you or for any personal gain, but because you're a douchebag and she deserves better. If you learn anything from this, let it be that you realize cheating is a devastating betrayal of trust that ruins lives and will cut you off from the person you love, sometimes forever. Cheating will always ruin a relationship, no matter how good it is. Don't stalk you ex. Grow up and treat the next one with love and respect or you're just gonna hurt anyone who ever cares about you.

TomMarks · Answer

Regretfully your only chance with her ended when you cheated on her. Think about it from her point of view. If she’d told you she had lied to you and had sex with another guy (sorry you didn’t specify how far you went cheating on her and details aren’t necessary), how would you have felt. She doesn’t trust you anymore and no words can restore that since she won’t trust them either. It may be an old saying but love cannot exist where there is not first trust. I’m truly sorry I can’t help you, but this is the only honest answer I have.

Anonymous · Answer

Just move on. You can’t really do anything about it anymore. Acknowledge that you cheated and address the problem. If you want to cheat in any future relationships, I suggest breaking up and talking to your partner and being honest and communicating instead of going behind their back and hurting her. You cannot do anything now and you said that she will never talk to you again and that’s fine. You chose to cheat. You control what you do, say, wear and etc. Please don’t try to get into contact with her again, I think she probably just wants space right now.

MsShy87 · Answer

Nothing. Leave her alone and let her move on. I just went through that situation of being cheated on and I was never able to trust him again. He also cheated on me again. She probably doesn't want to risk being cheated on again. Just stay single if you're going to cheat.

RavVid · Answer

I think you have to recognize that cheating destroys a long term relationship. Aside from anything else cheating kills the whole notion of the partner being special and someone that you want to spend your life with.

Having destroyed that faith in her, you can't be surprised that she no longer wants to allocate her life to you. Nor that she doesn't want to talk to you.

Good for you that you were honest. Now you need to carry the lesson through to the next girl you get with.

BrickBiggems · Answer

Why should she trust you again? Do you know the amount of psychological damage betrayal does? If you understood the kind of suffering you inflicted upon her you would know why it would better for you to leave her alone.

As a personal note, I find your lack of commitment and poor sense of integrity revolting. You have a lot of growing To do.

Reem12345reem · Answer

most women believe if a guy cheats once , he'll cheat again , once a cheater always a cheater , so there's no way to get her back until you prove that ur not gonna cheat again which is impossible to prove bc in her mind , if she forgives u then she'll think that you will think that when u cheat one more time u'll gonna think that she'll forgive u so it's hopeless trying to get her back

Rania05 · Answer

Even if you genuinely regrets it, leave the poor woman alone. She just got out of a relationship that may have broken her emotionally or not and now she's moving on. As I said and I'll repeat 'leave her alone' and then take it as a lesson to never consider cheating ever again.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Damn, so many harsh responses here.

People make mistakes. Nobody is immune to it. Live and learn, man.

That said, she is her own person and she took actions as she felt best for herself. Thats her decision. Respect her choice and move on.

LovingJo · Answer

This is what you get, when you think you can do better and try and go back to what you know was actually right for you all along. Thinking you could have both.
Women aren't stupid. And they sure as hell won't put up with being used as a back up plan either!! 💯

Good luck with your karma!!

SweetDisaster · Answer

Well I believe everyone deserves a second chance and if you really love her and want her back and your been sincere, win her trust back with everything you got and ask her what can I do for you to forgive me and whatever she says do it.
At the end of the day is up to her weather she forgives you or not.

Anonymous · Answer

You can't. Accept that.

Maybe one day, she will reach out to you, but I doubt it.

However, every time you try and reach out when she's made her feelings clear, all you're doing is showing her that you are STILL the inconsiderate asshole who thinks HIS wants matter more than HER wants.

Don't be that asshole. Change. And move on.

Mangospacho · Answer

She did you a favor. She can never look past this, which is fine because you did violate her trust, and she would have this running around in the back of her mind anytime you’re 5 minutes late anywhere or if you don’t text her as often as you usually do. Her mind will go straight to cheating again. Only thing you can do at this point is move onto another relationship because this one is a goner.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Nothing. You screwed up big time. I don't blame her. Just move on and vow not to cheat on anyone else.

MzAsh · Answer

You don’t talk to her. You must live with consequences of your actions and if she ever wants to talk to you again, she’s the one who gets to make that decision.

Quackthulu2 · Answer

You stop fucking cheating, and move on with your life. Why is this even a question?

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Good luck with that. My ex did the same and I blocked him and stopped him from having any contact with me. Some things are unforgivable. Even though it hurt I couldn’t.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

If she thought you were valuable enough, she'd of stayed even if she hated best you did. Her leaving is basically saying you weren't.

loveslongnails · Answer

You should stop trying to talk to her, or get her to talk to you. Accept that she doesn't want anything to do with you, move on and learn from your mistake.

katiesmuff · Answer

Well if she isn't willing to forgive and forget there is nothing you can do about it!

Nikki1989 · Answer

You screwed up, and now you will have to live with that fact.

douride2 · Answer

You should forget about her & just move on with your life. Hopefully you will remember your mistakes in your next relationship.

boggboss · Answer

U can't do anything if she doesn't wish to talk to you

Staximus · Answer

Leave her alone. You fucked up, it's over. She doesn't want a cheater. Go find a woman who doesn't care if you cheat because you'll probably do it again

Anonymous · Answer

Beg, plead her. You can't do anything other than this. This should work. But if she forgives you reassure her that you won't cheat on her again. No girl likes a cheater guy

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

You keep on living and let that karma sit with you a little bit.

exitseven · Answer

You are the one who blew it. Take your medicine like a man.

annabananna · Answer

You disrespected her by cheating now respect her wishes that she doesn’t want you in her life anymore.

Drdeeznuts1132 · Answer

There ain't nothin' left to do, man 😂 Move on.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Nothing. Leave her alone, cheaters do not deserve relationships.

AdithyaR · Answer

Simple. Stop bothering her. Understand you messed up. Move on with life.

ThomasDavid1989 · Answer

You don't. You cheated. The trust is lost. Why should you be able to talk to someone you never respected in the first place

noohair · Answer

It is over. There is nothing you can do to fix the past. Just learn and live moving forward. You can never grow while living in the past.

anon15 · Answer

Bro you cheated and she left. I know it’s Surprising to you because it Sounds like you’re used to women who will tolerate that behavior but she’s not like those women.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Learn for this, move on, and treat the next girl better.

Guanfei · Answer

You should fuck off and let her live her life.

Anonymous · Answer

The relationship is over. Move on. She already has.

Anonymous · Answer

maybe you are not happy with her after all. what do you like? do you like gay sex with trans woman? or anything strange desire that you don't really recognize?

Anonymous · Answer

You asked what to do? Go fuck yourself that's what to do

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Ya fucked up bud. It's over

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I'd just get a new girlfriend... problem solved.

belle_kai · Answer

Move on. I don't blame her tbh

BagoH · Answer

Move on and don't cheat again lol

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Learn your lesson and move on

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Oh well, you fucked up. Learn from it.

CassandraSpender · Answer

Live with that regret and learn from it

BrookeS · Answer

Nothing, you deserve what you got you pos

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Don't. It's over man. Move on.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Just move on.

Anonymous · Answer

You leave her alone. Thats what you do.

Anonymous · Answer

You are her ex. More women should do this

David4358 · Answer

time to move on

TrillXHippy · Answer

Just move on like she’s going to do

Softlife808 · Answer

There's nothing you can do. She's done with you

My ex never talked to me again since I told her that I cheated her and I regret that. What to do?

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