Why do men think divorces favours women?

[Anonymous]

I can give you many studies on divorce proving that decent men don’t lose anything and that men who fight for their children are given access but that this what I want to talk about. I want to talk about how many women walk away from marriages throwing away what they’re legally owed because they don’t want their ex husbands money even though they could fight for a percentage

[Miristheiss]

Because of NO FAULT divorce.

No one is penalized for having affairs or doing whatever. They can just divorce at any whim. In the past, getting divorces was harder and their was some "fault" involved in the process and who was at fault had some bearing as to how things went.

Alimony. So many states require someone to pay the other spouse alimony.

Many women will call the police and claim abuse during a break up and the man will legally be forced out of his own home.

Child custody almost always leans toward women with men paying child support. Even if it is determined the woman had an affair, a DNA test shows the kid is not the man's they'll make the man keep paying child support anyway.

So a woman can cheat on you, divorce you to go be with her lover and you still have to pay her alimony, child support for a kid not yours and give her half of your stuff and your 401K and retirements you've been paying into.

[Asker]

So basically none of that is true😅On the few points that are no fault divorce is absolutely a good thing for men and women. It being difficult to obtain a divorce is not a good thing. While my country doesn’t have alimony isn’t not an unreasonable concept and women also pay it. No no one can just report a false abuse claim and have a mans life ruined you idiot there’s a reason most convicted abusers are living wonderful lives. Again custody favours men when they bother to ask for it.

[Miristheiss]

You declared exactly why none of your rebuttle is applicable.
"NOT IN MY COUNTRY"
I promise you all I stated is true in the USA.

[OfMiceandMen]

I've read up on it, doesn't she just get half of what you both made during the period you were together?

It isn't like she can access money or properties that you had prior to the relationship? As long as those are outlined in the prenup.

[Asker]

Yes absolutely. It goes for both he can’t access hers either inheritance is usually safe as well

[OfMiceandMen]

So really, they both benefit equally as both put into the household/relationship. I could see someone saying, "ya... but I make more", but, that gets pretty petty. If that's the way you feel then perhaps marriage life is not for that person.

[Miristheiss]

Just a word on prenups.
They can be challenged and overturned.
They aren't fail proof.

[Asker]

@Miristheiss Yes they can but you need cause you can’t overturn a prenup just cause

[Asker]

@OfMiceandMen Perhaps if you feel so wrongly that if you got divorced the court would favour your ex wife marriage isn’t for you

[backdoorman]

Please post links to some of those "many studies". I would really like to see them, because all the studies I've seen, as well as my real life observations, show divorce favors women, which is why it is women who file the vast majority of divorces.

[Asker]

So I can’t like it directly but thomsonreuters. com/en/press-releases/2015/April/findlaw-divorce-court-survey. html add the obvious. That has great links to data showing it’s entirely bias and spite that shows both men and women feel the court favours the other gender. Also women file most divorces because most men aren’t good husbands

[backdoorman]

You lost me at "most men aren’t good husbands". I could say most women are not good wives, and I would be just as correct as you are. The difference is today's women have no sense of commitment.

[Asker]

The difference would be that married men with children live longer and are happier where as childless unmarried women are happiest. The difference would be that men cheat more, do less childcare and domestic labour, men don’t put as much effort into family. So yes they the men being divorced are usually bad husbands.

[backdoorman]

No. Married men with children whose wives don't divorce them live longer and are happier. You see, every one of those studies you are referring to group divorced men with single childless men, so all the millions of men whose lives were destroyed when their wives divorced them and took their kids obviously skew the results.

Also keep in mind that to know how long someone will live, you have to wait until they die. So, by necessity those studies were based on much older men who were married long ago when marriage (and divorce) was very different than it is today. So yes, men (and women) who married 50 years ago and had a happy marriage until they died are generally much happier than others. But the reality today is very, very different.

It's also very important to note the divorce rates among lesbian, gay and straight couples. The divorce rate in lesbian marriages is far higher than any other group. The lowest rate is in gay marriages, and the rate among straight couples is somewhere in between. I shouldn't need to explain the significance and relevance of those facts.

As I said, the difference is that today's women have no sense of commitment.

[Asker]

Ahahahahahahahahahhahaaha okay dude I’m your fantasy land

[worldscolide]

"men who fight for their children" the fact that a father has to fight to be in his childrens lives is evidence enough that divorce favors women.. Women simply do not have to fight to see their kids, mother's are presumed automatically good, and the father is presumed automatically bad.
.
Your question screams that you've never actually been through family court.. You're not qualified to speak on it.

[worldscolide]

Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children
When parental relationships irretrievably break down, current custody laws assume one primary caregiver (almost always a woman) and one tertiary caregiver (almost always a man). In order to win equal or shared custody, the tertiary caregiver must litigate to prove they are worthy of equal parenting, a proposition that is not only very difficult to “prove”, it is also very expensive. The legal presumption of shared parenting upon divorce – that children have a legal right to an equal relationship with both their mother and their father following relationship breakdown – is strongly resisted by the National Organization for Women (NOW) and other feminist organizations who know that women will almost always win custody of children under the default laws. In actual fact, men who can afford to purse legal remedies and challenge primary custody stand a good chance of winning, because women do not have the market cornered on loving or caring for children. So while the law does not specifically indicate that custody will be awarded to women, the de-facto result of primary/tertiary caregiver custody law is that women have a legal right to be assumed caregivers for children. Men do not.

[misogynistic_pig]

They only lose if they are foolish enough to have allowed themselves to take the woman's money or if they have children. In general, getting in the way is never a loss.

[Asker]

I’m sure darling😅😭😭😭

[jamesgoldman]

Because it does in the vast majority of cases, marriage is best ended for a man with a
self-imposed sunroof

[Asker]

Can you show me anything to prove this because quite literally every statistic disagrees with you

[jamesgoldman]

Men get the wedding bands and she get the diamond engagement ring, the latter is worth more in most cases

[Asker]

So you’re saying that divorce favours women cause engagement rings😭😭😭😭

[jamesgoldman]

Plus everything else he's produced and a share of everything he will earn forever

[Asker]

Only marital assets not everything😅

[jamesgoldman]

Those are the marital assets, if you entered with them, obtained them during the marriage or during the ensuing lifetime you originally agreed to remain married

[Asker]

It’s actually only from the point of cohabitation, inheritance and previously owned assets are only ever divided if there’s cause. You don’t seem to have a clue about the process.

[jamesgoldman]

You haven't shopped in a divorce court

[Likes2drive]

I lost basically everything she took half of whatever I had and got child support and she’s the one that cheated on me and filed for divorce

[Asker]

Okay? Did you have a prenup with a fidelity clause? It sounds like you lost half of your marital assets because you signed a contract agreeing to that. That isn’t favouring her that’s literally what a contract is she’d have had to do the same if she was the breadwinner

[Likes2drive]

Most won’t sign a prenup and certainly didn’t think I needed one back then

[Asker]

That sounds like a you problem then🤷‍♀️Marriage is a contract you clearly ignored that

[Likes2drive]

I didn’t ignore it, she committed adultery so she ignored it

[Asker]

You did. You didn’t take the proper precautions therefore you accepted the contact that you signed that said half your marital assets where hers. Child support is not a divorce issue

[Likes2drive]

At least I didn’t pay alimony especially since she married the guy she was cheating on me with 2 weeks after the divorce was finalized so now he will lose half eventually since spent everything soon after

[Asker]

I don’t care darling😅You fucked up. You forgot marriage wasn’t something fun it was a contact and you don’t get sympathy for that

[Likes2drive]

I didn’t fuck up , I did what everybody else does, and thought that it was supposed to be for the rest of our lives , at the time there really wasn’t that much in assets but I was the only one making the money all those years and creating it, I did get three beautiful daughters out of that , so it wasn’t a total loss

[Asker]

Dude again I don’t give a single shot about your personal life😅You didn’t do what everyone does you done what you felt right which was sign a contract and make an agreement you’re just mad you had to pay out on it because I’m guessing you were the main breadwinner while she raised these kids? Yeah that’s the contact you signed.

[Likes2drive]

Most people who get married don’t sign a prenup at least not back then since it’s not supposed to end so I did do what everyone else does and not go into it thinking it’s going to end in a few years. But I would make the same mistake again

[Asker]

So what I’m hearing is you didn’t understand that you were signing a contact, seems like you weren’t mature enough for marriage.

[Likes2drive]

Why are you still trying to belittle me? She was signing a contract too , I was mature enough, maybe she wasn’t since it was her second marriage and still broke the oath later on, I guess she didn’t take it seriously

[Kelly6]

because its the truth

[Kelly6]

my friends ex wife with masters degree and job as private banker, during divorce left he job to work as store cashier only to show she earns less to get money from husband.
is that fair?

[Asker]

Probably yes. It sounds like she would have been doing the vast majority of childcare and have a far better understanding of her children’s needs. Did he push for more custody after the divorce? Also if you think child support ever covers even a fraction of the cost of raising a child you’re delusional

[Kelly6]

they didn't have kid

[worldscolide]

There is no point in reasoning with someone as obtuse as her. She is one of those that believe that women can do no wrong, and women never lie @kelly6

[Asker]

You understand that everything obtained during a marriage with very specific differences is a martial asset? It legitimately is fair he would have received the same if the situation was reversed. Ignoring that marriage is a contract seems to be your friends issue

[In_Trance]

Because it does

[Asker]

Again can you show any proof because the evidence suggests you’re bullshitting😅

[In_Trance]

Ask any man that's been through it... which is about half of all married men now. Ask them who the system favours.
Search court rulings yourself.
Hell, get a free consultation with a lawyer; they'll tell you how it will go based on their experience

[Asker]

Huh well as a divorcee myself that absolutely isn’t what my lawyer told me nor what I saw when I looked into it. Do you have anything except bitter men online who forgot marriage was a contract…? No…? Didn’t think so