I feel so stupid for checking on my ex boyfriend social media after break up, why do I still do this?

[Anonymous]

I broke up with him cuz he wasn't treating me good. It was more like acquaintances than lovers, no love no calls or texts. He was okay with break up n then later insulted me n said he didn't love me thatss why he wasn't making any efforts. Why do i still do this? I know deep down it was the right decision n he wasn't good so why im still checking him out.. its not good. Anyone have any advice for me

[Anonymous]

I think you’ve gotten too comfortable in the grief it brings when you think about him, and as a result you feel weak and easily cave each time you have an urge to check in. I also think you mostly check on him when you’re feeling lonely, bored, or both. What you need to do is start working to heal, forgive, and uplift yourself from this dark place of grieving that relationship. Yes you put a lot into it so it’s hard walking away with no reward, but I don't know maybe that’s just your cue to not do so much for a man if it isn’t reciprocated. I’m not gonna do the work to be a perfect wife when I’m just a girlfriend and he’s not making me feel just as valued. You can’t get back the time invested into him but you can stop giving him any more of it going forward. Next time you wanna pull up his page stop and ask yourself why. Like what’s the real point? Do you really wanna make yourself feel worse if you saw that he had a new girlfriend, a good life, while yours isn’t going at that pace? Your path isn’t his so it doesn’t matter what he does on his journey. Focus on yours and yours only. You may not ever get an apology for what he said, but that’s ok. You don’t need his sorry to finally close that door, just forgive yourself for your flaws and wash your hands of him.

[Asker]

When u said u r not gonna be a perfect wife whn u r just a girlfriend, that was deep for me. You r right. Thank you!

[Anarcamus]

Did he use those exact words?
I don't find that most men would talk like that unless you did something to them here.

[Asker]

Yes he did. I was also shocked as why he would go that far if he didn't even love me anymore, breaking up should hv been the best option for him. I didn't do anything, Even after he insulted me i didn't do the same n just blocked him n left. Imagine loving ur boyfriend so much, be there for him n supporting him but then suddenly he is distant n he rarely calls or text, when i asked he said he is just feel like that so i understood n wait for him but it went worse, when he talk it is like he is not in the mood for it each time. then it was good morning and goodnight n thats how our day was. Then i asked him to if he wanted to break up, he didn't answer and asked me if i want so i said yes. He said ok. I was hurt cuz i felt like he was waiting for me to say those words so i blocked him n left. Same day he emails me say those stuff like he didn't love me anymore thats why he was distant n among other hurtful stuff. I reply okay fine hope u find what u looking for n i will do the same. Next thing i know he send me another email saying " if i see any email frm u i will automatically delete it stop msgs me dumbass". I was like why u insulting the breaknup was mutual right he again repeated the same words except the curse word n called me dipshit. I stopped n blocked again n left.

[MementoMori777]

Cause even tho he was toxic you still loved him and this is how it should be if you loved him forreal, it just shows you had feelings for him and you still do, you did the right thing once and I'm sure you'll do it again, you gotta stop doing this to yourself and just block, delete and ignore to help yourself actually move on.

[Anonymous]

You still have feelings and it’s normal to do this. Maybe block him?

[Asker]

I did blocked him but i had another acc n i still check up on him. Is it real love that i feel? How can i love someone who treated me so badly. I just wish i can stop this looking him up first