I left my emotionally and verbally abusive husband after3 months or marriage. I ignored countless red flags and married him. But he turned into a jealous and insecure monster. Shamed me insulted me and said he'd beat up my whole family and so on. He threatened me that I can't go anywhere without his permission and gotta come back from work when he asked me too. later he says he didn't mean those words and he has anger issues.
But he crossed all limits the last time and got aggressive. Insulted me I front of his family and wanted to attack me.
I came back around one and a half month ago. He tried to contact me. I talked to him met him but his apologies seem fake and he cried without tears. He says he made a mistake and if I love him genuinely I'd give him a last chance.. he said he's anew husband so he made mistakes and treated Me like a girlfriend not a wife.
I blocked him every where and he texts and calls my family members to say that I'm angry at him. He says and thinks that I'm just upset. I get triggered when I hear this because I feel like he's minimizing my pain. He says I'm not letting him touch me. if I only let his just touch even my hand I'd melt and let him come back.
Why is he saying these? these words are irrelevant to the abuse he put me through. is he dumb or just doesn't understand the gravity of the situation?
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Your ex-husband is saying these things because he is trying to manipulate you and minimize the severity of the abuse he put you through. Abusers often use tactics such as gaslighting, minimizing, and blaming to maintain power and control over their victims.
It's important to remember that you have the right to prioritize your own well-being and safety, and that you do not owe your ex-husband anything, including forgiveness or another chance. It's also important to continue to set boundaries and cut off contact with him if that is what you feel is best for you.
If he continues to try to contact you or your family members, you may want to consider getting a restraining order or involving law enforcement. You can also seek support from a therapist or domestic violence hotline to help you process your feelings and make a plan to move forward safely.
He is still trying to manipulate you. Don't let him. By questioning yourself he is still managing to abuse you. Don't make the same mistake again. The way to turn the loss into a win is to learn from it. And you have to move on to do that. You cannot control what he does, but you can control your own destiny.
I'm not going back. i was empathetic towards him because I thought he has been diagnosed with mental disorders and he can't help some behaviors. But the things he's saying. Like saying these things and midway can't control a little laugh because he knows how ridiculous he sounds. The only thing I feel bad about now is the fact that I married him despite all the burning red flags. And I thought he's a good guy deep inside. But he hurt me so badly, and now that I'm traumatized and numb, he's saying only he can "fix" me. Do they not know how seriously absurd they are.