If a guy just wants to be friends why does he say and do these things?!?!

So I have this guy friend who talks "dirty/perverted" to me and says he doesn't want a relationship with anyone and doesn't wanna date anyone. He knows I'm not going to have sex with anymore guys until I'm in a relationship too, but why does he ask me sexual questions and try to get to know me when it comes to that? Another HUGE questions is, why does he ask what I'm doing on the weekends sometimes, and why did he say "oh sorry you must be with your boy" when I didn't reply to any texts from him for about 2 days after he saw that I had went on a date with a guy? Or, why does he say something about hanging out with other girls even though he hasn't been on a date in over 8 months and hasn't had sex in a long time, but he'll say there's one chick he's thought about dating but that's about it and he only likes her because she's mean as hell?!?!? WTF he'll be 25 in September..CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS PLEASE! I told him no more bs talk with me if he just wants to be friends because that's BS and just wrong...so he wants to be friends and said he'd stop he promises. He also wanted to know why I get quiet and uptight when he talks about other girls (isn't that a given)?!?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Firstly, take a step back, breathe in, breathe out. You're way too over worked about this, you have to just calm down a little bit about the whole situation. I know it can be frustraiting, annoying, confusing, upseting, or a combination of any of those, but it's important to keep your self at a controled rate to think and perform what you feel is the best thing to do.

    Secondly, as soon as a I read that he doesn't want to get in a relationship, but talks dirty, I immediatly thought "okay, he just wants a fling/one night stand." Well, let me put it this way, no guy is really going to talk to a girl like that unless he wants to do that, ever. He might not want a relationship with you for whatever reasons he might have, but he would certainly like to... well yea. And adding in that he hasn't had sex in a while makes it just that much more obvious. Honestly it's hard to say whether he likes you in any other way aside from that way, but he should be mature enough at 25 to realize that if you want an actual relationship with a girl, talking dirty isn't a good place to start.

    That girl he is talking about that he likes might be you. Can't say I really know if you are "mean" to him as you didn't get into any description there. I would say if you really like him (even though talks dirty, which I personaly find very disrepectful and just... wrong to a friend) then ask him out. Just take it slow, make sure you don't hop into bed on the first date, unless all you are after is a one night stand as well, but for any sort of meaning relationship, it's a bad start.

    • He wasn't talking about me being the girl that's mean to him but I don't know if he's making her up or there actually is a girl around. I just don't know why he's so persistant in talking to me and knowing what I'm doing and all that if all he wants is to be friends. He wouldn't use me though because of knowing each other for so long, because he does actually respect me to where he wouldn't...but he can't help but to talk about it because he says that's just how he is. He doesn't want to lead me on but he kinda is!

    • Oh and I'm not really mean to him but I'll state my opinion and tell him what I think or feel....he said we argue like an old married couple...which is true but its not like major arguments its kinda just going back and forth on what we think lol. He also said the other day "too bad I'm not ur bf" and I asked why and he said because I could help you out...meaning sexually. Just the comments he makes to me doesn't make sense if he brings up liking or maybe wanting to date other girls yet never me!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Okay, I'm in a situation almost exactly like yours.

    It seems like he thinks that because you two have been friends for so long that you will put up with his childish behavior. BUT YOU SHOULDN'T. Chances are, he does want to have sex with you, but it's obvious that he doesn't want a relationship, which is unfair to you as a person.

    He also sounds like a jealous person because of his fascination with what you may [or may not] be doing with other guys when he's not around

  • This may not be an answer, but I wanted to see how your situation was going because I feel like I am in the same situation and it SUCKS!

    • Um we still talk on a regular basis and have had some deep conversations and even told me that if he were looking for a girl "i'd fit the bill". He frustrates me so much though but I've come to realize that it's how our relationship is no matter what form of relationship it is. I was across the country last week in Las Vegas and he was at the beach back on our "home coast" and he texted me EVERY day and even called once, I think he was checking up on me, he also came out for my bday to see me

    • He got home from the beach the same day I was having my bday celebration and made a point to show up that night and was obvioiusly looking for me because he found my friend first and asked if I was there with her. He later found me and came up to hug me and tell me happy birthday and bought me 2 shots (and my friend a beer, but nothing to worry about there lol), but he has always said "he doesn't buy girls drinks". we were both drunk and a friend told him to ask me for a kiss but he said no he

    • Was being good and couldn't do that. He did dance with me for like a whole minute too lol. All in all though I'm frustrated with him right now (it comes and goes) but today is my birthday and I've yet to hear from him...it makes me wanna send him a text saying F You lol. so I don't know I haven't heard much from him, he did text me sunday saying "wake up" and a few things and a couple of msgs yesterday that irritated me but other than that I haven't heard from him, he could just be busy who knows