Me and my ex broke up about a year ago, because she was cheating on me. I opened up with my friend/coworker about this and how painful it was, and how much that relationship meant to me. He sat there and comforted me and said how he was there for me as a friend. I naturally felt like a had a good friend there almost like a brother, who i could be open with. Even through some suspicious conversations that i had with my ex where she alluded to him, i still maintain trust in the friendship, because he assured me that she was just trying to make me jealous. We've continued being good friends for the past year until 2 weeks ago. I was at a kickback with some coworkers to celebrate my new promotion at work. Said "friend" wasn't there. About 15 of my other coworkers were talking very badly about him. I sat there silently until about 10 minutes into this where I decided to stand up for him. I raved on about how he was such a good friend and that they just didn't appreciate that. Then they told me that he slept with my ex the day that we broke up. Literally the same day that I was venting to him about how heartbroken that I was. I instantly felt like I was kicked in the gut. Part of me didn't believe it, so I asked some other friends about it and they said how much he was bragging about this behind my back. I've never felt so embarrassed in my life. I just can't believe that it took a whole year and for me to stand up for him in front of a group to find out. I still haven't told him that I know, because I don't think that there's anything that he could say to make up for this. And anytime that I hear anything come out of his mouth now, I just want to throw up. It's been Two weeks now and the more that I hold on to this thought the more angry that I get. I don't know if I need to scream or cry. I'm just so lost, and I hope that somebody who's been through something similar can read my story and help me with some guidance, because I feel so hurt right now.
- 1 y
first off know there is nothing wrong with you and that this only says about these people, your ex and your friend, and that you are better of without them. Dont let them ruin love for you or trust in other people. Some people are shit like that and some are great, try to learn from this and see how can you improve on reading people. Second, change job if its not so relevant, remove ysf from this situation and if that friend ever reaches out tell him you know and if he ever talks to you again that you will beat him up, third personally I wait for revenge, i wait for circumstances to align for it or if not usually karma takes care of it, also it must be so horrible to be such person as him to do that, he must have some seious issues w himself and it must be damn hard to be him (and your ex as well)
12 Reply- Asker1 y
Thanks for this well thought out response. It doesn't make me feel like there's something wrong with me, but I honestly do feel discouraged from jumping into anything again, despite me really wanting to find love.
- 1 y
Dont jump into anything, it takes time to heal and you should be picky in choosing your partner
Most Helpful Opinions
- 1 y
I'm sorry that happened. What a snake. That's the type of thing that would normally get someone punched in the face.
10 Reply
- 1 y
depends if before he knew or after. if before then it is ex fault but if after, then he knew available. didn't do bad.
01 Reply- Asker1 y
He definitely know we were dating. I introduce him to her as my girlfriend. It was dirty on so many levels. The guy literally said he would be my mentor at work since he was more senior than me, and completely took advantage of that
2.3K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. Do it fair and square put the gloves on then squash it after
05 Reply- Asker1 y
I actually box, there's no way he would agree to that
- Asker1 y
Tempting, but I could physically kill the guy, so it seems too easy
What Girls & Guys Said
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- 1 y
i was going to say something but it was too violent
00 Reply - Anonymous(30-35)1 y
It is your ex, why do you care?
02 Reply- Asker1 y
Because I have a hard time letting go of my feelings, and the guy is a two faced piece of shit
- Asker1 y
I really valued that relationship, because of how close that we were. and even after it ended I thought that we were close enough to be friends still, but all these skeletons started falling out of the closet, and I would lose all self respect to ignore them
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