What's worse - breaking a heart or getting your heart broken?

[Anonymous]

I say getting your heart broken. It sucks so hard. The only girl I loved left me it was terrible.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Sorry to hear about the the girl you loved leaving you. I've been there, and not to cheapen what you had, and not to sound condescending, but you're young, you'll live, and you have a long life ahead of you. You have plenty of years to live and with each day of those years you stand another chance of finding another girl you'll love.

You can always find someone else, and there is always a chance you'll fall in love again and find someone who treats you right, and loves you just as much as you love her. It may not be the same, but trust me, it doesn't have to be. Point is you can still find someone else and someone you can love. Either the same, or even more. Just don't force it. But yes, it can happen.

Now on to the question at hand; "What's worse - breaking a heart or getting your heart broken?"

Either one is hard for a first time.

Knowingly breaking someone's heart can be really hard if you have a conscience, and little to no ill will to the person you're doing it to. Y'know... that is if this is in terms of a break up or something similar. Like for example if you and your other just started to drift a little, and you don't love them the same way, but you still care about them, and they hadn't really done anything wrong. Something like that.

Now having your heart broken is really hard the first time, and maybe a couple times after that. Though if you've been through as much heartbreak and lousy relationships or bad luck as I have, you find that while it hurts, you can always recover. After a while I've learned how to deal with it. So really having my heart broken isn't so hard anymore.

Frankly I think what determines which is worse depends on a few things, like circumstance, that kind of person you are, people involved, personal experience, ability to cope, and variety of other things.

If you're just asking for a personal of preference of what I would say is more painful, I'd say breaking someone's heart, but that's just a matter of where I'm at right now in my life. If you had asked me 5-9 years ago I would have said getting my heart broken, but now that I've been through it so many times, I can handle it. It's not such a big deal anymore.

Others will probably disagree. Which is fine. I accept that this post will probably get voted down and fall to hell. Just thought I'd share my thoughts. In the mean time I hope that this was insightful.

Good luck with your love life. I'm rooting for ya.

[Giogiogio2011]

Getting your heart Broken is worse.

When you break someones heart you made the choice. Your on top of the situation. So things are going the way you chose them to. You move on quicker and things are just whatever. you brush it off as a mistake and move on. Sometimes If you cared about the person ( I don't see why you would hurt someone you say you care about, so in reality you don't care but seem to enjoy living off the melodrama)

When you have your heart broken, truly broken you don't see it coming.You let someone in your life, Trust. all those memories and trust are broken. Not only do you feel betrayed you feel worthless. It makes you 2nd guess everything because you don't know where to go.You feel completely alone. Sometimes you even lose your will to live because you worked so hard to make yourself and your life to work with this person that it no longer has purpose. It destroys so much that you basically have to become a new person to be able to keep pushing forward.

Pain and suffering defines a person. people learn and change to overcome a situation. This is why "Cheaters never change". They didn't feel as much pain as the heartbroken and go on as the same person repeating. While the Hurt person changes and moves on, sometimes for the better or worse.

I know this wasn't worded properly or could have been better but I'm not trying to write a book. I understand every situation is different and sometimes the heart breaker does feel pain but that has such a lower chance of happening so I'm going from the generic standpoint.

[ConfusedGirlAsking]

i've been through both sides. my heart has been broken so many times and then I also broke a few other people's. it's not good feeling overall, but it's something that everyone has to live through to get stronger and learn from it, no matter how sickish and depressed you may feel after.

but most importantly don't shut out the other person from your life completely. that would just make things a little worse (depending on what happened). after you have healed from your broken heart, or say it's been a while since you and your ex have spoken, try to encourage some small talk again to heal those broken bonds that were left from what you two left behind. show forgiveness for one another and show that you still care for them even after everything that has happened.

i'm sorry for your loss, but "it's better to feel then feel nothing at all". let out your pain instead of hiding it inside of you. have some alone time for yourself and slowly regain your strength over time. or maybe just some guy time with your friends will make you feel better because they care for you too and will do anything to make you feel better and clear your head.

it comes around for everyone every now and then. you just have to push forward and ALWAYS know that it will get better for you. it's not the end of the world and definitely not the end of you.

[Anonymous]

In most instances, getting you heart broken FEELS much worse at the spur of the moment, especially when it's not anticipated. But in a long run, which party is worse off remains a question as it depends on the intention of the break up, whether the relationship has been happy, what happened next etc. Both may be equally as good and as bad.

Breaking someone's heart for no good reason makes this heart breaker the worse person. But breaking a heart because that's the way it should be can be heart breaking for the heart breaker themselves. Sometimes the heart breaker has already had his/her heart broken before breaking the partner's heart. E.g. Someone can possibly break his/her partner's heart by cheating and when his/her partner leaves, the cheater's heart gets broken. In this sense they get the worst of both.

To sum it up, I personally think getting your heart broken feels worse in the moment in most cases, but breaking someone who you love's heart and feeling heart broken feels worse because it's twice the pain. Lesson: Don't get into a serious relationship without thinking thoroughly. You may never when you will break someone's heart or get your heart broken instead. Hope this makes any sense :)

[Opinion Owner]

And also, getting your heart broken will always painful if not worse that breaking a heart.

[Anonymous]

the worst is leaving someone you love, who loves you back. so you break his or her heart and you are also heartbroken. because sometimes life makes relationships impossible. it's very difficult to move on after that when both parties know feelings are still there. a lot of bargaining and pain can ensue too.

[swagger]

I would say that the two are completely different so you cannot make a comparison.

I have broken hearts and I have had mnine broken.

I felt like dying when my heart was broken. It was like a bereavement.

When I broke hearts you feel a littel bad. It's not till later that your conscience (if you actually have one) kicks in and you feel really f***ing guilty for the way you treated that person. That sh*t sucks. I'm lucky enough to have been given the opportunity to apologize for my shortcomings and am at peace

[acka72]

Getting yours broken. Sometimes you can´t help it if you break someone else´s heart because you are not in love with them. However, if you break someones heart because you lied to them about loving them and then cheated on them... it´s a different story.

[LaDiva]

Whoever said breaking a heart is worse is pretty f***ing stupid. If you don't think the pain from your own breaking heart after rejection is worse then you have no room to talk and you are just a stupid hypocrite who wants to say otherwise just to be different. Yes, they both hurt obviously but it's a no brainer that your own broken heart would hurt the most. Duh! Unless you have no heart to begin with...

[malekoniky]

Breaking heart for me is worse.

Because having broken heart, that is probably not your fault. And no matter how bad it is, if you want to get over it you will and it will make you into better person. Pain shapes people to be better ones. If they take it right.

But breaking heart, that stains your heart. It is harder for me to get over hurting people than being hurt.

[Anonymous]

I think what's worst is that you realize you can't fix it. That no strange miracle could fix it, either for breaking a heart of a girl you really truly love or getting your heart broken by a girl who you truly love. But on a normal basis, breaking someone else's heart doesn't and will never compare to the pain of rejection from someone you love.

[Anonymous]

Getting your heart broken is worse.

It is hard to describe the pain that you feel when someone destroy your trust in people,break your heart and emotions and the worst is when you find out that they lied All those years to you and betraied you and fooled you and you were too innocent and believed them,such a horrible feeling.

[Anonymous]

I had my heart absolutely blown up inside my chest. She just left, and never looked back. I have heard rumors from someone close to her that she hurt really bad for a period of time after leaving me, but I don't believe it since she was already dating new people three weeks later. We were going to marry, I had a ring, and she just left... I don't believe she ever truly loved me. I know that emotionally I could never hurt someone like she hurt me and not feel for the other in some way.

[Anonymous]

Depends.

If you still love that person and yet you break up with them for seemingly selfless reasons such as one's family disapproving of the relationship, fear of holding him/her back from pursuing their dreams, feeling like you're inadequate and not good enough for him/her, then I'm sure the heartbreaker and heartbroken parties both feel the same, soul-crushing pain.

Otherwise, a broken heart sucks.

[matt1675]

I've never had my heard broken, but if I knew I'd broken somone's heat then I'd probably feel just as bad as if I'd had mine broken. But I guess it depnds on how much you really care about the other person.

[maroon12west]

Getting your heart broken much more. When you break someone's heart you have an anticipation that tells you what's going to happen, and you're not left wondering what went horribly wrong or what you could have done to prevent it from happening

[Yeahhbro]

obviously getting your heart broken, why would I care what somebody feels if I don't care about them? Cruel and cold but true and that's how the world is. Or else everybody will donate what they have so no body starves and hunger wouldn't excist.

[mikeb79]

The particulars of the situation matter. Although the pain of heart break is devastating, I can imagine situations in which the guilt of causing heart break can be worse especially in the sense that the guilt is nearly impossible to make go away.

[invodkaveritas]

getting your heart broken. might sound cold, but even the most empathetic person has to admit that your own emotions feel stronger.

[SkulaIsMyLover]

Well I've never broken anybody's heart, but I imagine if I did that it'd break my heart too, so I'm gonna say breaking someone's heart, since for me that would probably include both. Getting your heart broken sucks big balls.

[tohrment]

Breaking a heart.

I couldn't stand the idea of putting someone through that, but I know that if I went through it I'd survive. I'd rather suffer a bit then make someone do it for me.

[glitterberryalisa]

getting your heart broken duh! if you break someones heart you obviously didn't care about them enough and its not going to be as hard on you.

[kimmiec333]

gettig your own heart broken, Since you have to deal with the pain of the loss. The persons whos heart your breaking, you can just walk away from.

[AmberChick]

Definitely getting your heart broken though getting your heart broken makes you stronger while breaking a heart can make you weak.

[megannnxx]

Both are absolutely crummy. But I'd say getting your heart broken. That is something I never want to feel again.

[monica7777]

I would say getting your heart broken because, unless you are very sympathetic towards others, you'll hardly feel a thing when you break a heart.