Is waiting for him worth it?

[Anonymous]

So I started talking to a guy back on March , we went on a few dates and he made me feel very comfortable and would compliment me and make me feel like a prize and told me that he was looking for something long term and that he could see that with me. He said that we were taking things slow and that he was still getting to know me but would talk about us maybe moving in together eventually, and even saying “if we ever get married you know I’d put a big rock on your finger” and kind of love bombing me. He started a business working on cars and apparently received a call from one of his bankers saying if he doesn’t get his stuff together with his business he will have to file bankruptcy and messaged me telling me that he needs to focus on his business for the time being and thinks we both need to get ourselves together and wants me to wait for him, and then ghosted me and continues to ghost me, he has replied to my texts a handful of times in the months since this has happened and says that he does not care about his emotions right now and needs to focus on his business but still wants me to wait for him, I do really like him and think he’s worth waiting for bc we seemed to have really hit it off and both like eachother but I don’t know if I’m wasting my time? What do you guys think? What would you do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmmmmmm well upon reflection, I don't think waiting for this guy is worth it. Here are the main reasons why:

1) His hot and cold behavior is inconsiderate and confusing. Telling you he wants something long-term and then ghosting you for months is not how a respectful partner acts don’t you think?

2) His priorities do not seem to be in order. If he truly valued your connection, he would make time for you, even if in a limited capacity. Pushing you to the side for months on end shows a lack of care.

3) There are no guarantees he will change in the future. People only change if they want to and put in the hard work. Telling you to wait indefinitely is not a good sign.

4) You deserve better. A partner who truly values you will make you a priority, not an afterthought. You're worth more than being someone's fallback option.

5) You have limited your options by waiting. There may be other, more compatible people you could meet if you were open to it.

6) Trust your gut. If you're having doubts now, those doubts are unlikely to go away. There are probably inconsistencies or red flags you're picking up on intuitively.

In summary, I'd advise moving on from this situation cause it’s gonna hurt you. Focus on yourself, your goals, and meeting new people who treat you with care, respect and consistency from the beginning. You deserve a partner who wants to be with you now, not potentially someday in the future - on their terms. I hope this perspective helps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

[sammyyyyasdfghjkl]

you will meet a lot of people and potentially hit it off. live your life and do you instead. if in the future you get together, then so be it. But i personally don’t think you should wait around for him. yes he may be busy and have other priorities, thats fair. But he should have made that clear at the start instead of ghosting you. Also, him wanting to take things slow then talking about moving in and getting engaged sounds weird af. don’t do it.