A month ago, I told the guy I like my feelings for him on dms. He typed a long paragraph saying I’m a lovely person but he’s not ready to date yet after what happened between him and the girl he liked. They never dated; they liked each other but she played hard to get so he got tired and confused. And most of his past relationships went horrible so he wanted to take a break. He told me to wait for him, maybe a month, and he might return his feelings for me and ready to date but he wants us to be friends rn.
After my confession, we’re not awkward at all. We tease each other a lot, and he sometimes calls me and we spend more than an hour on call with each other. It seems like he’s just trying not to be awkward around me since I like him. It’s ok if he only likes me as a friend. But not trying to sound selfish but waiting for him seems a bit unfair for me since he’s making my hopes high of me dating him even if it might not happen. I don't know if I should wait for him any longer
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Hey guys! thanks for ur opinions. I’ve considered myself moving on from him. But should I be distant to him for a while cuz that might work for me? But I don’t want to stop being friends with him. It’s just he’s making me confused so I kinda want some space from him. He always talks to me so it might be hard for me to get distant and I can’t just ignore him
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Hey guys! Sorry for bothering u again. I had a talk with him and he said he kinda liked me during the day I told him that I like him. But he didn’t tell me that during that day. Rn he’s confused about his feelings but he rejected me at the end of the day. He only likes me as a good friend now
I've been the guy in this scenario before. Don't wait for him. Understand he may be an option down the road, but he's not emotionally available for you right now and waiting is going to make you feel like you wasted your time and used even tho he's not using you.
Think about the type of relationship you really want and if he can't provide that for you, then see other guys. If you don't find another guy who can be what you need and months down the road he's emotionally available and you're still interested. Then go for it. But don't put yourself on hold. I know for me back in highschool. After my breakup I wasn't ready to get back out there for months and a girl who liked me (and I liked back) wanted to be with me and wanted more than I was able to emotionally provide her at the time.
Months later I was good to go, but I didn't ask her to wait because I had no idea when I would be good and I wanted to do right by her. Even told her she should see other people, because I needed to get my head and heart right. That's where he is at right now, but it wasn't cool of him to ask you to wait.
To me, that MIGHT be him trying to get with this other girl in that time and having you as a fallback. But I don't know that for sure. That's just one possiblity. But even if it was genuine. You're still going to feel used and hurt, waiting for this guy.
1. Telling someone how you feel about them on DMS is wrong, wrong, wrong! Isn't it important enough to do it in person, face-to-face? If a lady texted me to say that she is quite fond of me, I would think that if she can't tell me to my face, it must not be very important.
2. You are getting along with this guy quite well. So you haven't held hands or kissed or had sex yet, but you have started creating a relationship that can be more than just a physical attraction.
3. Is there someone else knocking on your door who is a better contender for the role of leading man in your life?
If you want to date move on. You decide how you take care of your friendship. Apparently you don't see him as something serious. Selfishness is selfishness. He just got out of a relationship. Dating should be about friendship and building intimacy. Not sexually. If you can't learn to be patient than maybe the question is should you really be dating at all? Because dating also requires patience especially when you say you love somebody. Since you clearly stated you cannot have that loving patience for her then you need to find somebody else who gives you an immediate gratification. Just stating based on what you are showing. It's only been a month you're acting like it's been two years. Again just move on. Just tell him that you don't want to date him anymore and then you take it from there. Overall he did give you a month which I think is unrealistic since he just got out from linking somebody else at this point you have the right to revisit him and ask him what it is that he really wants. Because it just sounds like to me he's not ready to be dating at all which I know he isn't. Both of you are just not compatible in desires.
If you're going to be distant you might as well tell him to end the friendship. It's not fair to keep him at arm's length because you just want to have your emotional needs met, but then he's already confused and uncertain about what he really wants in life. You're just going to make it worse.
ASKER, it's it about feelings. EVER. it is a rational and logical decision. If he is not ready for that, nobody should be pushing him. If he doesn't want to see you in that way, that is what he wants. Can't force anybody to want you. Just move on. And of he begins to get jealous and clingy, remove him out of your life.
Do whatever you think is right. I’m sort of going through the same thing. It’s not a game. So do what you think is right for you or you’ll have regrets.
I'm not against giving him time, but "maybe a month" is way too long in my opinion. Exactly one week (i. e. 7 days, or 168 hours) is reasonable.
It's not just the length that's the issue, but also the uncertainty. Maybe a month? Maybe 2? Maybe 4? Neither of you knows.
Here's the deal: If he only likes you as a friend, but that's not what you are looking for, just move on. Don't friendzone yourself. You are not obligated to wait for him without a reasonable expectation of being together.
If anything, make yourself scarce around hom, and gee might just seek you out himself.
Don’t wait for him go live your life you never wait for anyone. Unless they’re far away or serving the county. Other than that let that boy go. He told you he’s not ready to date... you will get hurt pursuing him.
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