How do deal with cutting someone off?

Question

I have been seeing this guy for over 7 months. He did something and screwed up, he turned it around on me and was a complete asshole about it…he slept with an escort and I found out. He doesn’t feel bad about it because “I wasn’t supposed to know” and “we’re not in an exclusive relationship.”

Everyone around me said I should just block and cut him out of my life. I’m supposed to meet up with him tomorrow to talk about things, but I’m leaning towards just not seeing or talking to him again… but there’s a part of me that wants it to be peaceful.

I know if I see him tomorrow, it probably won’t be a peaceful goodbye with him since he displaced his anger onto me for feeling shame/guilt himself.

I just can’t bring myself to cut him off, 7 mths doesn’t sound long at all, but there was a connection and it sucks to say goodbye to this.. even though he’s not good for me.

Has anyone done that? Just ghost a connection without having a talk about it before the real goodbye?
I have anxious attachment, so it’s harder for me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

what are you going to meet up and talk about? what else is there to say? what's done is done and obviously it is a complete dealbreaker what he did and also how he treated you after that.

do you want to continue being treated like this? you need to cut this off asap. if you don't, you are devaluing yourself as a human being. do not ever let someone make you feel like that.

and yeah, i've been ghosted without the person giving me an actual reason. and our situation was never close as your was. just talking stages, dates, etc. and then just complete silence. until eventually they said they were "going back to their ex" that they broke up with over a year ago. so i didn't believe that one bit. and we tried to be friend. but then just complete ghosted again. i thought he died i was worried. it's just awful when someone doesn't give a reason.

but, that's besides the point because you have a very very valid reason to cut this person off!

strawberrybaby3 · Accepted Answer

I mean if you’ve been seeing a guy for 7 months and that much time past and he never asked you to be his girlfriend, I think you can guess where you’ve always stood with him. By stringing you along for months then sleeping with an escort, he’s showing you that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He’s still interested in having sex with other women and doesn’t feel bad about it. This is why I try not to get upset or attached to anybody that isn’t my boyfriend. He is single, he is allowed to do what he wants but unfortunately he did string you along for his benefit.

tfan1 · Accepted Answer

Do you think this guy deserves a second chance? Just talk with him find out everything, what’s going on, if he’s found someone else - if he has ditch him. If he hasn’t and says he misses you, open your ears and listen in detail.

boggboss · Accepted Answer

What good will come of meeting him either it will go bad or he will manipulate u into wanting to be with him more them end things how do u benefit from seeing him

Anonymous · Answer

I think meeting up would be a bad idea… Just cut him off cold turkey while you still can. If you do end up meeting up with him, he’s gonna twist it around to put the blame on you instead, he’s gonna play with words to win you over again. I’ve been where you are right now… 7 months is gonna turn to 1 year which is gonna turn to 2 years etc… cut him off now before you get stuck and waste more time on him. I’m rooting for you luv, you deserve better!!