How can I get over it (it's pretty long sorry)?

[Anonymous]

i guess i'm obsessed with my ex boyfriend. He broke up with me and said that he deleted my phone number after a fight when i had asked him to talk to me or delete because he was leaving all of my messages on seen deliberately and i didn't like what he was doing to me then at all because i felt so bad like i was never precious to him anymore after like one or more years. i'm not sure about the time. But it was long and pretty meaningful to me and i really loved him despite everything and i'm still in so much pain that i can never keep my life going on anymore. i cannot understand how he can be this cruel and careless about me. i even would marry him one day and he was also someone so good. But why is he doing this to me? i really don't understand. i believed in him a lot and he tried a lot for me to trust him. i did but why are we living this now? i'm so confused and broken. i can't feel good whatever i do. How hard i try it is still useless for me. My money is not enough for a good therapy, either. i feel like sick for days and he is not doing anything for me to heal or feel better at all and just living his life carelessly like nothing happened before. it hurts more. i know it is not end of the world or he is not the only guy for me on earth. But i still cannot believe how he could do this to me. i cannot get out of this shock phase at all and he is never coming back to me. Today will be the 5th day since he's gone. i waited for everything to be okay again a lot but it didn't. So today i sent him a pretty long message that i said that i gave up, too and i blocked him on every social media accounts. But i still feel so bad and it all feels like a nightmare to me now. i want to wake up but i cannot. i need help. i also cannot share this with my family they won't understand and i have no true friends anymore. i feel so lonely like i'm in a darkness right now and cannot find the light, too. i'm in depression and i cannot find a suitable job for me for a long time.

Updates

6 mo

No more answers? Okay. Thanks anyway.

[bigmarty36]

We all go through this and it really is unavoidable in life unless we don't date, I know the feeling I went into a depth of depression when my girlfriend dumped me by text no warning or signs. My advice is just hang in there you will recover DONT CONTACT THEM IN ANY FORM, as time went by and I healed I realised we where never suited like day and night we where, and found out by her best friend she cheated twice, making a fool out of me. This life is short so do what u feel you need to listen to sad songs, stay in bed and hide from the world whatever helps you heal if will take time so hang in there. As for friends in this world lucky if you get 2 real friends in this world, not the fake social media ones someone who cares. Good luck to you

[Staximus]

There are plenty of good guys out there. You pass by them and don't even notice them every day while you are busy crying over this fool. It's time to move on with your life. Get up and do something good for yourself.

[Asker]

Yeah i know
But i'm so sad and so mad at myself, too. Because i believed in a fool second time. i loved two guys a lot in my whole till now and they literally chose to kill me. i feel like i'm the one who is the real fool now as i constantly trust people with all of my heart and want to be loved equally. i guess it's impossible to find someone good nowadays. They are so rare that i always end up being in pain and i'm really fed up with it now because i already have a hard life and just wanted to be happy nothing more but how hard i try to love people whatever happens they never love me back and they forget easily all of the things i do for them. They are so unfaithful. it hurts me and my heart a lot. i'm a human, too and i have a heart and emotions, too but they always act like i'm nothing for them even after a very long time so i'm losing my hope and being sick so much. They say you just need time but i'm not feeling better everyday and he seems careless. And i know that i definitely lost him. He was not even my only problem, either but at least i was feeling better with him in old times. Now the depression is heavier. So i'm pretty scared this time. i feel like i won't be able to get over it. And it feels so scary to think like that. i cannot stop thinking in this way indeed.

[Staximus]

Yeah you can stop all this bullshit right now if you want to. Stop playing head games with yourself and start living a normal life. Just get up and move forward. Don't get attached to a guy until you know he cares as much about you as you do about him. Go eat some really spicy food and get some exercise, go out in the sun. Do some meditation. Try this for starters. Don't make excuses, Just fucking do it. https://youtu.be/0BNejY1e9ik?feature=shared

[Staximus]

https://youtu.be/nzCaZQqAs9I?feature=shared

[kylee2437]

You need to take back your self worth. Ain’t no way a person that has high self worth would say they would marry someone that treats them that way

[Asker]

Yeah i know but i don't know how to do it anymore with this kind of horrible mood. i lost myself. it seems so hard for me. i meant that i would really marry the old version of him. Now i'm in shock about how he has changed a lot suddenly and turned into this narcisistic and cruel person. i'm trying to heal myself and it's really hard for me to succeed it now. i was someone strong. i don't understand why i'm feeling like that right now. So painful. i already had a quite hard life and now it feels worse than ever. i mean the depression is heavier. i cannot find a good way to recover and rescue myself from this kind of horrible life conditions and past traumas. i was only at home for a long time already and don't want to go out a lot anymore. He was not my only problem, either. That's why i lost myself in the end and stopped continue for myself. i was feeling better with him at least in all of those things and now i lost him, too. i'm feeling like someone died.
P. s. he had started to change after a big eartquake in his city and being a soldier after that. He gradually lost his all interest to me although we were so good before. Everything changed drastically and how hard i tried to help he didn't want to go through fights with me anymore. So he has decided to go in the end. i'm trying to respect that decision but at the same time he forgot all of the things i did for him to heal again, too and let me down so bad that i cannot forgive what he did. So i'm so sad right now and i don't know how to trust people again. i'm really in pain. i don't know how to make it go away, either.

[In_Trance]

therapy