Why is my ex suddenly ignoring my texts, leaving me on delivered, but he'll answer my calls?

[Anonymous]

After 3 years, we decided to take a break. Work on ourselves to be better. The past 4 months we have remained really good friends and in a much better spot to date. Then suddenly he started pulling away. Leaving me on delivered and what not. But when I call, he answers... every time. Some times he seems pissy, but other times, we have great conversations.

If there was someone else, why wouldn't he just tell?

[DaveJord]

So, you are supposed to be taking a break... but you are still texting and calling... so what was the point of the break? I took two breaks with two different women in my life time, and I fucked other women both times I was on that break. And no it was not cheating, because if she really wanted to be with me, there would be no need for a break.

I have never just took a break since the age of 24. Like when women say let's take a break, I can respect that, I hope you have a good life take care.

Now back when I did entertain this type of bullshit, we took breaks, I fucked other women... because in those day I was pretty damn handsome, and women were falling out of trees it seemed like. And in both cases I ended up getting back to together later with them, and it never was the same and it never worked out and it was never worth my time.

So there you go, that is my story, and I am a pretty average guy... so, you have to decide for yourself what he thinks, because you know him better than I do.

[ilovegfriend]

I think the best option for you would be to start doing no contact. Remember, if he wanted he would. It seems as if he’s wasting your time by being hot and cold, and that’s actually something that you clearly don’t need. Men have their ways and like to keep their options open, so that might be the reason why he’s not telling you that he has someone else by his side in case she leaves him. I know that you miss him and that you want him back, but if you keep on doing this and waiting for something to happen out of the blue you’re actually not going anywhere. Doing no-contact has a lot of benefits, you get the time to be better for yourself, you also might think about keeping your options open. If during no contact he realises how much he needs you in his life, he’ll come back. People can’t see your value if you’re there all the time and if they don’t have time to miss you. He might realise what he is about to lose if he keeps on being this way. In case he has someone by his side he will actually have to think about if you are really what he needs. You will know. You don’t deserve to be waiting on someone who is not worthy of you and to waste your time like that when you can be out there and focus on something that’ll bring you joy and for sure you’ll get to meet someone who will see your value and respect your time and efforts.

[_Maya_]

I'm not sure it is guaranteed that there is another person involved. It could just be that he is going through something or mad that you aren't together. You mention he seems pissy sometimes when he answers you calls. I am curious about the context of the conversation when you do talk to him and he acts like that. It might be telling about why he is ignoring you. The problem with breaks is that while you are probably doing the right thing working on yourselves it doesn't mean that even though one person agreed to the break that they really want it.

[Asker]

He broke up with me. I didn't want the break. He didn't start getting weird until I brought up visiting. We are long distance, which was the cause of the break to begin with.

[_Maya_]

Ah that is tough when it is long distance. The fact that he is getting weird about visiting now makes me wonder if there is someone else.

[Asker]

It's just weird that he will answer my calls if he has someone else. Like he still put me on speaker phone with his brother. It's all SO weird!

[_Maya_]

Yeah but maybe the other person isn't around? That is weird though he is putting it on speaker with other people if things are rocky. That sounds more like something someone would do when things were peachy right?

[Asker]

Thank you for understanding and helping me work through this. This is why my head is a mess!

[_Maya_]

I can totally sympathize with you on this. That is so very strange and backwards of other behaviors. I'd be equally as confused.

[Asker]

How do you think I should handle it? Go no contact?

[_Maya_]

That isn't the worst idea. Make him come to you or at least get him thinking that you are losing interest. Amazing what people will do when the attention is gone.

[Asker]

It's hard. Like not to be dramatic, but I don't have any friends to talk to about this. And he was my best friend. So not talking to him is hard because I truly feel alone.

[_Maya_]

Aww I can totally understand. I am always open to talking if you need someone.

[BadApple69]

It’s my opinion but I could be wrong… there’s another girl.
Texts are easily ignored when you receive them when you are with someone else, calls are not so easy. When he is alone you can have great conversations. When he is with her he is pissy that way when he gets off the phone he can claim you are always bothering him and that what she would have heard in his voice. Not answering a ringing phone is like you are hiding something.
Why doesn’t he just tell you? Men like to keep options open.

[Asker]

But sometimes the calls are really great! So that's what is so confusing. It's like hot and cold.

[BadApple69]

Right… when he is alone his calls can be natural with you. Only when he is with her does he sound pissy. The pissy is a show for her sake.

[Asker]

Why would he still put me on speaker with his brother? Like last night we were laughing about the football game. I agree that I think there is someone else, but I'm trying to figure it out

[BadApple69]

You have a lot to learn about men lol. Men like to brag to friends (or brothers) that they have multiple girls interested in them. Makes them feel like big men. He could have (not saying he did) got off the phone with you and told his brother “yes, I’m banging her too”.

[Asker]

Should I just cut off contact?

[BadApple69]

What is your reason for staying in contact? Are you two just friends? Or did you want to get back together?
if Just friends… then when he is talking to you nice on the phone tell him he is your friend, and that you believe he is seeing someone else and that is ok. As friends you should be honest with each other.
If you had thoughts of getting back together then know he is currently occupied and wait (if that’s what you want to do). Or walk away if you prefer that.

[Asker]

I have told him that I wanted to get back together. He was like I really don't want to right now because there isn't an "endgame" with long distance at the moment because of our jobs. I understand. But he's been pushing me more and more away this month. He lives at home, so that would make dating hard and we've played video games like every Saturday night. I really want to believe he isn't seeing anyone else. Just weird that in one month, he suddenly leaves me on delivered and he won't even open my snap chats for like hours at a time. (FYI i can see he is on video games at this time so unless some chick is just watching him play all day)

[BadApple69]

How long distance is long distance?
Yes a man his (assumed) age needs a woman close.
I was in a situation years ago where I was dating long distance and the reality was… we both cheated because physical contact is extremely important as I am sure you know. So how old is he? You said he still lives at home…

[Asker]

He's 29. And we're three states apart however I have a ton of airline miles with my job so its say when and I can be there.

[BadApple69]

Airline points do not make a good relationship. Those points are for booty calls only. To be honest long distance relationships are way to hard. Since your interest is romantic then I think you have 2 choices. Either move out to where he is or move on and find a new guy.

[Asker]

you were right, another girl

[BadApple69]

In cases like this I don’t like being right. Sorry!

[Asker]

There goes three and a half years. At 35, this sucks!

[BadApple69]

It sucks at any age. All we can do is learn from it and move forward.
If there is anything you ever need to know private message me… I’m always willing to help AND I understand mens behaviors.

[Asker]

I really really appreciate it!

[Paris13]

... BREAK... No Mention of a Break Up... Maybe He Figures That is What Now you Both Are... xxoo

[OfMiceandMen]

I think you answered your own question with your question. He's likely seeing someone and he's not willing to tell you about it until he knows she's a keeper.

In answer to your questions above: He may be one of those guys that needs someone in his back pocket before he says something to you that would make you walk away. Wants to avoid being alone.

[Asker]

I could not agree more!!

[OfMiceandMen]

If you suspect that is what he is doing, then it's likely best you move on. I've always been of the opinion things happen for a reason, and you will likely meet someone way better.

[Asker]

As I said above, its so much easier said than done. 3 and half years is my longest and at 35, it just sucks

[OfMiceandMen]

For sure, moving on is never easy especially after being together for quite sometime... here's to you finding someone that treats you better.🥂🤞🏼

[PaulatEllasGift]

I think the only way to know is actually to ask him. And wouldn't that be the best for you know so you can decide on what to do?

So ask him, and firstly, be clear on what you want and ask him if he wants the same and then set standards for him to be in your life. So start with yourself.

[SweetSouthernGal]

You're missing a key facet to this. He is YOUR EX.

That means he is NOT obligated to you. He does NOT have to be loyal to you. He is NOT at your beck and call.

Do yourself a favor and MOVE ON. Which is exactly what he is trying to do from the sounds of it but you refuse to back off.

[ProbablyClueless]

Y'all are exes and you're supposed to be on break; that's why. I get what you mean about why wouldn't he just say that he's seeing someone else, but on the other side of the coin; WHY WOULD he? What benefit is there to him telling you that?

[spartan55]

Does anyone even know what the term 'ex' means? You can pretend all you want, but you never broke up.

"work on ourselves" 😂 😂 😂 cliche

[Madkeyra00]

He’s your ex he doesn’t have to answer to you at all. Why are you calling a ex that aren’t answering your text? More importantly when you called him why didn’t you ask?

[GoodEnoughThen]

New girl? (Sorry.) He's probly acting pissy cus he feels guilty.

[Anonymous]

maybe just leave him alone... he probably feels guilty if he doesn't answer the call. but texts don't have to be answered right away because they're just text messages, quick messages

[DextroShade]

You should not be having contact with your ex.

[Anonymous]

He's an ex for reason (s) right? So why are you wasting time on him?

[Pterodon]

Why do you care?

[Masterodd]

Time to move on and up that body count. :)

[In_Trance]

Stop interacting with your ex

[BigDog1989]

why do you care

[Staximus]

He's your ex