What is he thinking? Is there any shot of getting back with him?

[loveandsharks]

So my boyfriend of almost 4 years and I broke up a little over a month ago. It started mutually as we were disagreeing a lot and he said he wanted space for us to both "work on ourselves". I almost immediately realized that I don't want this to end and I want to work things out together. I've never been more devastated in my life.

We live together. I'm not in a space where I can move out super easily and I am clinging on to hope that this will work itself out. We're sleeping in separate rooms but still share the same bathroom/his stuff is still in my room. I feel like I'm getting some mixed signals on what's happening here and what he's feeling. Like I mentioned, he has not moved any of this stuff out of our room other than his laptop. He goes out of his way to ask me how my day was and have conversations that feel like nothing even happened, just not with any of the romantic stuff, and he hangs around the same area as me if I'm cooking or something. We are constantly still doing things for each other like buying each other a drink/food when we're already getting something and doing favors.

He is not a very communicative person - that was one of our big issues. I get the vague feeling that he may still want me and I want him, but I'm way too nervous to say anything and I know he won't. Can someone help me get some clarity on what he might be thinking and if it's worth still holding on to hope? I want this to work but I can't be the only one putting in the work/chasing him anymore if there is no shot. What can I do to inch towards fixing this?

[Oliverlogan263]

This is a sticky situation. On one hand, it seems like maybe your boy hasn't fully closed the door on getting back together if he's still hanging around and doing favors and stuff. Guys don't usually do all that if there's no feelings left at all.

But at the same time, he did ask for space and isn't being super lovey anymore. So he's kinda sending mixed signals for sure.

My best advice would be don't chase him too hard or come on too strong. Give him some breathing room like he asked, while also letting him know here and there that you're still open to working it out if he changes his mind.

Like maybe casually bring up some nice memories you had together once in a while. Or do something small but thoughtful to show him you care. But don't overdo it or let desperation show.

The living together complicates things for sure too. Hopefully one of you can move out soon so there's less awkwardness.

But maybe just play it cool for now, let him have his space, and see if he starts coming around on his own over time once he's had a chance to think without pressure. You never know - he might decide he’s not really over you after all. Just don't lose hope yet!

[Anonymous]

It's challenging to determine exactly what your ex-boyfriend is thinking, as people's emotions and intentions can be complex. However, based on the information you've provided, it seems like he might still have some level of connection or interest in maintaining a friendship or relationship, but it's unclear whether he wants to reconcile romantically.

To gain more clarity, consider having an open and honest conversation with him. Express your feelings and desire to work things out together. It's important to communicate your thoughts and listen to his as well. Be prepared for the possibility that he may not want to reconcile, and respect his decision if that's the case.

In the meantime, focus on self-improvement and personal growth, as he mentioned wanting space for both of you to work on yourselves. This can help you regardless of the outcome of your relationship. Remember that a healthy relationship requires effort from both parties, so it's essential to find a balance in terms of who's making the effort to rebuild it.

Ultimately, the future of your relationship will depend on the willingness and commitment of both you and your ex-boyfriend.

[Anemone978]

You two have to have a calm conversation about it.. Just ask him if he wants to talk.. because you will never know if you don't ask..

[RedInnocent68]

Yes. Get drunk. Have sex. Repeat. Over and over until it takes.

[Nemesis2k7]

The whole "work on ourselves" means "i like someone else, and i want you as a fallback"

[Anonymous]

He is not worth the trouble. Move on.

[In_Trance]

Move on