Do you think it’s better to stay friends with exes, or to cut ties with them?

[Lisia]

[NathanDavis]

I can only speak from my true and actual experience here, so... to keep it shorter

-with my high-school girlfriend, we were best friends before we were a couple, so we grew up together and went through things together, and 99% of our relationship was great, so we just naturally kept the great friendship part and have remained great friends since

-with my college girlfriend was very similar, we were great friends before, became a couple later, great experiences, then we remained friends because it was "easy" to just go back and remain the great friends we've always been

now, later in life... and with my more recent ex-girlfriends it was a bit different because we were not exactly friends first, and we met and got into each other with the intention of being a couple so, although we had a great experience and we have kept things friendly and positive with one another, not being close friends before makes it just different... as we only know each other as lovers and it is also way more recent too... so we stay in touch yes, and we catch up from time to time, we keep it friendly but were are not really that close as friends... and it would not feel as natural and as easy as the other two

now, if they had been bad relationships, did bad things... or anything/something was wrong, I would just rather cut all ties and move on, I would not look back... but I have never been in this situation myself before

[MikeTheBartender]

Couldn't have said it better

[NathanDavis]

@MikeTheBartender thank you, I appreciate that

[devilish-cutie]

Im curious on why did you break up if you remained such good friends?

[NathanDavis]

@devilish-cutie well, basically... we were way younger, in school days, and we have been great friends, before we were a couple (they do say true friendships never really die, right)

and to be more specific... with my high-school girlfriend, our relationship and our love back in those days was partially based on a need we had for each other... we were young, we had a few issues too, so we were support for each too, so it was a very young love... and in those three years or so that we were together we also "grew up" we did not change entirely, but we adjusted a lot of who we were and how we were... so to us, in a way... it was like stages

-we were first 16 year old messed up "kids" that became friends...
-then we were a couple for the few years
-we became grown up teens... by age 19... that became friends again, once we were better and more complete in our own, by ourselves... and we have remained great friends since

[NathanDavis]

and with my college girlfriend... it was a similar situation, we became very good and close friends first, and quickly... then we ended being a couple for those years, now... we were early 20's young and of course we did plan our lives and our future in great part, and while we were together and in love... but we did not exactly have the same goals and plans towards the future... so instead of forcing one another to change what they wanted and possibly sacrifice ourselves as individuals... we decided to support each and in love... and still respect our individuals choices like friends would... and we've remained great friends since...

[devilish-cutie]

Thanks for your reply but i meant what made you break up?

[NathanDavis]

@devilish-cutie because, we were very young... and we had very different plans for the rest of our lives (=

[devilish-cutie]

Thank s for the replay, i just noticed there was a second comment on the first part!

[NathanDavis]

@devilish-cutie any time (=

[OlderAndWiser]

I have had enough bad experiences with girls who were still "in touch with" an ex that it is an overwhelming red flag for me (unless they have a child together, of course.) I don't want to date a girl for 3 or 4 months, start getting attached, and then hear that she is getting back together with her ex. It's painful and I won't do it again.

For me, staying in touch with an ex makes it more difficult to put them in the past and move forward, so I almost always go no contact after a break up.

[VIVANT]

I think it’s perfectly fine fit people mature enough to do it, it requires honestly end knowing yoireelf we’ll bough t know your incentives are not to get back together

people ego insist that absolutely no one should or can remain friends, are not capable of doing so & these people should not. But they should also stop insisting they speak for the world 😂

[VIVANT]

I didn’t typo check sorry forgot

I think it is perfectly fine for people mature enough to do so. It requires honest and knowing yourself well enough to be clear about motivations. people are often friends first so it makes sense that they’d want to maintain their friendships. However, often people remain friends bc they can’t wot go romantically which is not healthy

If a person can honestly be friends for friends sake then I think sure why not got for it. people insisting it’s not possible to remain friends should not attempt to stay friends.

[Julie4]

There is no simple answer to this question. I would simply say that it depends on the situation, that is to say, how you separated. If you separated in a respectful way then yes it is possible, but if there was too much resentment and anger, it is not even worth thinking about.

[Avicenna]

Depends on the circumstances and personalities involved

[BullShark]

As I usually do, I'll try answering this question as neutrally as I possibly can. When talking about exes, it's important to understand that not all exes fit under one criteria. Not all of them were abusive and bad partners, not all of them were caught cheating and not all of them left you heartbroken and traumatized off of love. But if they are THAT type of ex, then yeah, they don't have any place in my life anymore.

Even if they come crying and apologizing, saying how sorry they are or how wrong they were, depending on the things they did and the damage they dealt, I can forgive them eventually, sure, but I can never go back to how we used to be before, because I don't want to relive all those memories. Even if a small part of me still wishes we were back together and misses the things we did, a bigger part of me still knows that they're not good for me.

On the flipside, if we broke up because life forced us to; our families weren't happy with them being in our life, we were both busy with school or work or whatever, or if we had to move states, if they somehow turn up in our lives again, we're both still single and still love each other, then that there is a sign that we're both meant for one another. But then again, those instances are also very rare, so yeah.

[Kaneki05]

I try but they don't bother. It's never made any sense to me, if two people have a good connection why should that be wasted? If it don't work out then keep the connection as friends.
At that point it becomes regretting trying to be with them in the first place and should of just stayed friends, but regretting trying is going to have that nock on effect which then in future case they may not try.
Add that to another reason I don't make the first move.

This is of course not speaking about relationships that end with hate.

[smne35]

That's up to you and how you broke up parted ways, it's nothing wrong with being on friendly terms with your ex, I can honestly say if I was to see my ex or talk to her a billion years from now, it would be too soon but if you just like having that reminder in you circle that's cool I just got to ask why, it's like I read that book no need to read it again I know how it ended so I'm good, some people are just no damn good but if you have a friendly connection with you ex cool just if your seeing someone else hope he's not jealous type

[DJB72]

I have 2 serious exes. One I'm in touch with who I've known since I was 16. We lived together for over a year and the breakup was not dissimilar to the position in Korea.

The other girl I met aged 26 and we were engaged. We split up fairly amicably but she never responded to Olive branches I tried to offer.

After about 14 years the first girl and I reconnected on Facebook and we've stayed in touch since. I'd call her a friend and she's someone I'd try to help if she were in trouble and I could do something.

The second responded to my friend request by blocking me.

I don't consider that a loss.

[Fabiloso]

I'd do my best to keep a safe comfortable distance. But if they were clingy and seems to worsen their mental health for you to keep up any friendship then nah. They'll be okay and you'll be better. The world's full of people and decent people too sometimes. They all deserve love and to be cared for. You can help them find someone else or something to occupy their thoughts with. Try and send them off happily but overall best they are out and maybe a returning facebook friend that wishes birthdays n such.

[FunkyMonkee]

It depends on the ex. I'm still friends with my first ex, I was still very close friends with my 2nd ex until about 5 years ago when she got pissed at me for not giving her my last 58 cents to buy cat food for a fucking stray cat!! And, I WOULD still be friends with my last ex had she not been cheating on me, lying to me and stealing from me and then accused me of trying to fuck her niece just because I told her she's gorgeous!! I don't need psychos like that in my life!! I have ex-sisters and cousins for that!!

[Wallythewalrus2]

I’m sure your “ex” would be more than happy, he probably prefers to remain friends with you. I’m also sure you want to remain friends with him and I don’t blame you! Although I don’t know him, I imagine he’s an amazing guy. charismatic, witty, highly intelligent, sexy, has good style and probably so much more than I have room to write, after all, he won your precious heart. Yes, Lisia, remain friends with him! You’ll both be better off.

[Lisia]

He sucks actually

[Wallythewalrus2]

I’m sure your words that are throw in anger can still hurt him, so be careful. He’s gonna give you some space now. He does hope you have a better day tomorrow.

[Lisia]

Rightttt

[Screenwriter]

It's according to what kind of and reason for the breakup that occurs.

If the breakup is awful, I'm sure you don't want a thing to do with them. However, if you share children, you might have to forge some kind of tolerance with shared custody.

Friendship? You'd have to have some kind of smooooth mutually agreed upon breakup due to attrition to approach friendship. But if you've gone your separate ways in the marriage, why would you ever continue to be friends?

[Anonymous]

Depends largely on the circumstances of the break up. If its cheating or abuse then no.

I'm still friends with my childhood sweetheart who is now a lesbian. But then we grew up together and she didn't cheat on me and we have always had each others back. She's less like an ex and more like a little sister who I've f*cked and still have nude pictures of

[Lisia]

That- 😃

[ZackBan]

Depends on how it ended. I would say ties need to be cut to a certain extent by default but staying friendly with them is not a bad thing.

I for one hear from my ex every few months. We exchange a few texts asking how we're both doing and just leaving it at that. It's barely a 3 minute conversation and does not impact our future relationships but we also broke up on good terms for a various reasons outside our immediate control so we won't pretend to hate eachother now.

[Jasmin01]

I'm sure it depends on why we broke up. I don't want to have any contact with the guy who cheated. In one case, we both realized after a short time that we thought each other was nice, but we couldn't be lovers any more. I still have a friendly relationship with the man, even though we both have other partners.

[Johnny2479]

It honestly all depends on many different things. Like--The types of personalities both of you have. How deep the relationship was. If you have kids together. If you have other mutual friends. If the breakup was amicable and you just decided you weren't a good fit for each other. If you get a new partner will they accept that your friends with an ex. Can you be friends and not hold resentments from the relationship. There's really no cut and dry answer for that, there are many of times where people should not remain friends after they break up. Yet on some occasions people remain good friends after breaking up for the rest of their lives. It's on each individual person to decide.

[FreyaRed]

It's better to go away and cut them off. The risk of jealousy, misinterpretation or interest conflicts is very high and chances you become friends again is practically zero.
I know it's hard to keep someone you like at distance but happy friendship isn't more than egoistic wish think

[236color]

Cut ties. You may want the cover of "we're still friends" to reassure yourself that you are the bad guy. If the relationship end, however, it ended. Someone was not getting what they wanted or needed. It is NOT a kindness to "remain friends" it can be poisonous to the next relationship. Do them and yourself a favor, make a clean break. You don't have to be cruel, just be gone.

[Bricealan]

I have a 'talking' relationship with my prior wife, as she had called me several times, since our long ago divorce. Not all that unusual. In my 20's after two years with the hottest relationship in my life, a girl called me back 6 mos. later

Not so unusual.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Being friends only puts the people in a spot where it will make it harder to move on, it's why I don't agree with it, maybe after the feelings for each other are gone but personally I'm the type to never look back and I refuse to change that, its always worked for me.

[Drumlin2001]

In general cut ties. But if kids involved you should stay civil at least.
Having said that, my ex was best friends with a friends wife, things didn't end too badly between us, at first, so I would have stayed in friendly terms. Circumstances did sour after we broke up, haven't spoken to her again. Think she's cut ties with friends wife too

[BoobMan]

I think you can stay "friendly" as in no bad blood, but I don't think it's useful to continue to hang out. You need to think through your goals which probably include things like advancing your other relationships and/or whatever your career goals and interests are and chances are pretty good there are better uses for your time than continuing to hang with the ex.

[ProbablyClueless]

Ideally, you would be on good terms (or at least on neutral terms) with your exes. I'm not a fan of cutting people off, if I don't have to. That's one aspect of modern culture that I really dislike. I don't believe in treating people and relationships so disposably.