Do you prefer being friends with your ex or completely remove them out of your life?

[Sammy098]

[Keyboardkat]

A lot depends on whether the breakup was mutual or whether one person dumped the other.

If it was mutual, then I suppose it's possible to be friends. But if you were in love with the other person, and they dumped you, then it's kind of silly to speak of being "friends." If you're sad and heartbroken, you DON'T WANT the "dumper" as a friend! What you really want is to have back again what the two of you had before. If that is not possible, the best thing to do is cut off all contact, give yourself a "pity party" for a few days, and then do something else, like work on your abs, take a course, learn to play chess, learn a new language, take up a musical instrument, join a club, take a trip to somewhere you've never been, whatever interests you. But DON'T date anybody else for while, maybe at least a year! Why? Because your heart is still broken. You are NOT EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE to someone else. The loss of a love relationship is experienced by the brain as a death, and your "dumper" is the one who "died.:" You need to process what happened, to mourn the loss, to go through the grieving process so that you can heal. This process cannot be rushed. During this time, it is possible to latch onto someone nice and attractive, but what you are doing is using them for a band-aid, and you will eventually tear off the band-aid. It's not fair to do that to someone!

You'll know when you're ready to go back out there! When the mention of your ex's name no longer feels like a kick in the stomach; when "that certain song: no longer brings to to tears, when you no longer cross the street to avoid your ex when you see them coming, you'll know!

[Crankor]

I see no point. Its more likely they will get in the way of a future relationship. It always seemed to me the only real reasons to is either you have kids then to some extent you have to be, or you have hopes to either get back together someday or being casual hookups after the other break ups with whatever current partner they were with. In any case, I dont want any emotional attachment lingering to any ex so I dont talk to them unless they do first which I really dont ever have to worry about as they tend to ask my friends about me instead of me myself

[Sammy098]

I agree with you 💯

[Xoxocutekitty]

If we had overlapping friends/aquaintances, I'd stay friends. But say once they moved out of town, there's no need to stay in contact. I might entertain a random, 'hey I'm in town want to catch up', but that's just out of general curiosity (not closure). It is fun to hear about your exes in a (hopefully) more successful chapter of their lives. This is of course assuming it ended fairly amicably where maybe there were 'some feelings, but not enough' and the decision to end things was within a reasonable timeframe.

If they did any of the following, it is immediate grounds for no contact: cheating, abuse, obsessive behaviors, sleeping with your friends.

[fonduegirl]

Complete removal please

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode all the messy, spicy parts of relationships… including ex drama 😏

I’m team “remove them” unless the breakup was mutual, healed, and there are zero leftover feelings. Staying “friends” with someone you’d still kiss at 2 a. m. is a walking red flag. Distance helps you stop lovebombing your own memories and actually move on.

[AviatorTom]

I'm on good terms with my ex-wife but I wouldn't say we are friends. We are each remarried, live in different cities, and occasionally get together for family events. We have 3 grown kids together, so weddings and births happen.

[Sammy098]

Sounds like you have a healthy relationship with her. That's good, especially for the kids.

[Rei13]

I am acquaintances with my exes, if we see each other we might talk but otherwise they’re completely removed from my life. They were important at one point but I see no reason to maintain consistent contact with them

[HawkPerception]

Completely remove them from my life. I don't want to envision someone I've been with intimately being with someone else.

[Screenwriter]

With children involved, you might be best to be civil to work out child rules and care. But "friends"? Think that's a rarity that only occurs if the breakup is mutual and not bitter. If it was the latter, no reason to be anything to each other. But remaining friends after you no longer see each other is another rarity.

[ArrowheadSW]

Mostly, exs are exs. There was only one ex that I stayed friends with because we clicked way better as friends than as boyfriend/girlfriend. And then there are those who you really liked as a lover but for whatever reason, it didn't work out. In those cases, it is too awkward to remain friends and if you do, you always want to go back to dating. Sometimes you just have to let it go.

[beenherebefore]

I don't think it makes sense to be friends with any of my exes, after the break up we eventually followed different paths. I've been in a long term relationship and if things go south between me and my current Partner I wouldn't mind keeping some form of contact with him but I don't think we could form a friendship immediately after a break up.

[MannMitAntworten]

I never keep exes as friends. Just makes life easier. New options don’t care for the old news to remain lingering in the background or hearing you talk about them at all. Frankly I do not blame the new options for feeling that way. Besides, keeping exes around is like a form of self sabotage to the whole moving forward … and within any new relationship which may arise.

[WhitneySnow]

I prefer being friends unless they really hurt me

[Sammy098]

Are you currently friends with any of your exes?

[WhitneySnow]

Yes.

[ManOnFire]

There is no reason or need to keep them as friends. When it ends, I move on, and that's what they want anyway. I couldn't imagine staying friends with someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore.

[slatyb]

I'm happy to be friends with some former partners, but I hope to never see my ex-wife again.

[Sammy098]

Can I ask the reason why she became an ex-wife?

[slatyb]

I had no boundaries. Then I got some.

[Sammy098]

Explain?

[slatyb]

She is or was a narcissist, never wrong, blames everything on someone else.

[Sammy098]

That's fucked. I've been with someone like that before. It's awful.

[jshm2]

I am friends with them, and even do business with a few of them.

Being an "ex" just means we wanted different things and things didn't work out. Doesn't mean you've got to be enemies.

[Anonymous]

I removed my most recent ex because I did not think they deserved to see pictures of my personal life anymore.

Also, they were quite disrespectful even after I broke things off with them. Yet they would continue to like my stuff which pissed me off also.

[LiamJHayden]

I am willing to stay friends so it is always up to her. Some have just disappeared. Most have kept contact and some are close. But I only long term date women I genuinely like as people, so that seems normal.

[HighValue]

No contact is necessary. I wouldn't even consider being in a relationship with anyone that still had contact with an ex.

[Shiprex]

I dropped everything and now feel like that was a mistake since she didn't do anything wrong I was just a fool,

[MrChinaski]

There are reasons that you love someone. Of course it's better to be friends if you can hold it together. That can be hard to do.

[molonski2]

Never " finish " anything , remain on good terms always.

[audean57]

I am still friends with a couple of exes and disposed of others

[bolverk]

I was cheated on by both of my ex's, cut them off totally within 24 hours of finding out.

[trickr13]

Personally wish I could still be friends with all my exs

Some want more
Some won't speak to me


Im guessing cos of the stereotypical breakup where someone must go home crying...

[msc545]

I want them gone, and I make sure that it happens.

[MysteriousDarkness]

I don't see any reason to be friends with an ex unless you have kids together.

[qwerty2469]

I'm best friends with all of my exes. I pick really awesome girls. Shit. Half of them I never actually broke up with.

[exitseven]

I put them in the past

[nolabels]

My wife recently passed, so...

[MissSunshine2]

Cut them out.

[queenofcardio]

I usually cut them out of my life

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Gone, ghosted, ignored and left behind.

[Miristheiss]

I used to go no contact.

[douride2]

I [prefer to cut all ties to an ex.

[jahaims]

Only immature people stay friends with ex's

[MrChinaski]

Huh?

[blackeagle007]

Remove. Once it’s over, it’s over

[Sophia1998]

Depends why we broke up.

[smashleyy]

Remove them

[In_Trance]

Remove them

[oldman26]

Friends