Should you be friends with an ex or leave the past in the past?

[smahala1991]

My ex messaged me today telling me about her life. She's married now with a year old son. I really want to be friends, but I want to also leave the past in the past so I can think about the future.

[Lliam]

I don't see a problem. I remained friends with a couple of my exes.

My first girlfriend wound up marrying one of my best friends a few years after we separated. I used to go to their house a lot until they moved.
She and I are now Facebook friends. She's is a great person and a happy grandma now.

One of my later girlfriends was amazing. Petra was 30 and I was 36 when we met. We wound up living together for over a year. She's the first woman I ever loved with all my heart. And she loved me.
We couldn't have made it as life-long partners and separated for reasons that are too complicated to go into. It wasn't due to cheating or anything mean.
I never experienced such pain. It took me a year to pull myself together and move on with life.
But when I was 40, I met my future wife.

20 years after we had separated and 15 years after I had been married, Petra found me on Facebook and we even spoke on the phone a few times.
I was overjoyed to be in contact, to know that she was happy and doing well.
Five years later, I read that she had died from a sudden medical problem. Once again, I was devastated. She was a wonderful person and I will never forget her.

[molonski2]

I never wipe anybody off , ever hahaha , and that's probably fortunate , and keep in touch with most ( not all , but most ) and there are a couple Id like to " find " again just to see how they are going..

But here's the thing , I'm really OLD ! lol , maybe I had a different view at 23 , I honestly can't remember , I think then I thought " cut cut " , well that's just silly , no reason to harbor hatred. I think its good to remain with a friendship.

Recent trip back to Brisbane , stayed with my girlfriend from back when I was 19 years old 19- 23 ( I went out with her ) , its awesome to still have that connection , nothing sexual or any of that , would not want that , but I went around saw the business she was doing , didn't have a car there , that was probably the only thing.

Look , its just going to be some contact once in a while , you are not probably calling them everyday , its all fine in my view.

[Chrysantenum95]

I ve heard someone said it in a podcast. Those who remain friends with their exes are the ones either one/both still clinging to small chances of getting back together or one/both really not in love with each other when they were in the relationship. Personally, it depends to the reason why relationship ended. If cheating or abused, its a NO.

[Sweetsurprize]

I think I heard somewhere that it depended on how the relationship was (the deep the feelings were. etc.) and if you were truly over them or something and yeah, you didn't mind seeing them with someone else and that someone else and her created another living, breathing human being out of that love.

[Sweetsurprize]

How deep the feelings were I mean.

[provokeesmokee]

My two ex bfs, not interested. The first cheated and has nothing to offer. The second showed me just how terrible weaponized incompetence is and also has nothing to offer.

My ex girlfriend, I'd like to be friends with. I think maybe I messed up that chance with small things, but from our mutuals, it sounds like it isn't just me being ghosted. So maybe after enough time, we can be friends. She's a fun person, just not someone who's romantically compatible with me.

[beebella]

If you don't have romantic or negative feelings towards them, then I think it's fine. If a part of you feels like you shouldn't, then maybe you shouldn't.

[Nikki1989]

I am friends with all my exes except one, but that is of his doing.

[ShadezMcgee]

I am not friends with any of my exes. I am civil with them and will answer a question or respond if they send me a text, but at the end of the day they are an ex for a reason and I would rather not have them in my life by any means.

[Anonymous]

My ex wanted to show me how she was moving on and all and she had to tell me about all the guys she has been seeing after our breakup even when I told her I don't want to hear it. Then when I finally moved on and told her I'm talking to someone else she didn't want to keep in touch anymore. Lol.

[sheikalana]

Never! I don't believe in being friends with exes. We're exes for a reason and if I wasn't good enough for you to keep me as a partner then I'm also not good enough to be friends with you.

[BunBun369]

You can't see what's in front of you if you're always looking behind you! 😎

[thegreenyogi]

Leave them in the past. Although that also depends upon the kind of relationship you had with that person.

[Drumlin2001]

Depends. If you have kids then worth trying to maintain some frinlendship. Otherwise, leave them in the past

[Sweetsurprize]

Hey, I didn't think of that. In certain ways then, having a child with that person (even if it definitely decreases their attractiveness in the dating market and complicates things), the baby/child can help them keep in touch with each other. Lucky haha.

[LiamJHayden]

It depends. If both are mature and realize that they are not meant for each other, then you can. If one has an lingering hopes, probably best to leave it at arm's length.

[dudeinohio]

No. Never be friends with an ex. you'll get her in trouble with her husband and your partner won't like it either.

[smahala1991]

I'm single

[dudeinohio]

Well, if you get into a relationship and your potential partner finds out you are friends with an ex, that could be a deal breaker.

[Monalisa77]

Stupid, y would u get with some1 knew if u weren't over ur ex

[alice55]

Usually if they're ex it's for a reasons so better to stay away from them

[Anonymous]

don't text back. not sure why she needs to tell you about her life, that she's married, and has a kid. what's her point?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I just move on, not worth to be friends with an ex

[douride2]

Personally I prefer to leave the past in the past. Most times they are an ex for a reason.

[Sweetsurprize]

Yeah true. It takes two to make a relationship work but only one to break it (friendship included). I think a "friendship" (a true one where there isn't wishful thinking on the part of the dumpee), can only ONLY work, if the break up was mutual, but often times, sadly, it's not.

[Ironic_Method]

I'm still friends with most of my exes. It's great.

[MysteriousDarkness]

I believe unless you have kids together exes should go their separate ways.

[McKellar]

You're a better man than I am. I just can't do that.

[Anonymous]

Catching up every now and then is fine. doesn't have to keep a friendship. Its normal.

[Flatmanlewis]

I would (and have) just moved on.

[exitseven]

Leave sleeping dogs lie.

[Anonymous]

IF HE’S HOT, IM STAYING FRIENDS 😂😈

[Sweetsurprize]

So you don't mind that "hot ex" banging, dating and marrying and maybe having children with someone else? You like seeing that? Hey if you're that strong, especially if YOU were the one that was dumped/rejected.

[Opinion Owner]

@Sweetsurprize
Yeah I don’t care. I mean friends as “sex friends “. 😂 if he don’t stay as a sex friend, I’m cutting him off. Block, Delete for life 😒

[Guido]

They are ex's for a reason so let them go.

[LunarEclipse433]

I have left that in the past.

[msc545]

probably not

[fuddly]

Past in the past