My spouse and I are divorcing on agreeable terms but, Is it naive of me to not consult a divorce attorney?

[Anonymous]

We have children and assets. We agreed on most everything: how to share custody, who gets sole custody, physical custody, and even moving out of state. We also agreed on financial support and how to share our assets. We both stay amicable and supportive. As far as I know, I am not at a disadvantage; we left many discrepancies to our best judgment.

The way we handled everything was peaceful yet painful. We are not at each other's necks, harbor no resentment, and agree to be there for each other. However, am I being naive? As the mom, who carries most of the responsibility

[Anonymous]

If you both agree than I think that’s the best way to work it out. Chances are if you get a lawyer, especially a female lawyer she’s going to push for everything. Telling you could get this, you could get that, you could get way more, etc, etc. That is going to create chaos between the two of you which isn’t going to be good. I mean how would you feel if you both agreed on this then next week someone pulled up to your house w legal papers regarding this whole issue? You’d probably feel mad, blind sided, etc. I’d say at least get everything in writing legally so there’s no question about what the agreement was. You don’t want him resenting you. Plus if he’s a good father. Sure things may not have worked out for your marriage but I guarantee you he’d be willing to help you don’t the road if ever you needed it. Now if you threw a lawyer in there, more than likely he’s going to be bitter, say screw you. While you two may not be together anymore it’s still good to have him there if need be.

[MrOracle]

A lawyer's job is to maximize their billable hours. A lawyer will advise you to fight for everything you've agreed to give him, and will give you a dozen reasons you need a lawyer. Then his lawyer will advise him to fight for everything he's agreed to give you. That's how billable hours are maximized.

The two of you would likely end up spending AT LEAST $50,000, and it could be far more - if you get a lawyer, he has to get one too, and now you are paying incredibly high hourly rates to fight each other - and you'd likely end up at more or less the same place, except that the level of animosity between the two of you will be far, far higher, and your lawyers will each be able to buy a pool.

It sounds like you are both adults, and have been fair and reasonable with each other. Why is that not enough? What is worth wasting all that money and increasing the animosity with your children's father?

[Paris13]

Can You Use Legal Zoom So It Is Not Costly? Simple. xxoo

[BonzoInBitburg]

I had an amicable divorce without a lawyer. I left with the TV and my Lazyboy chair and that's it. I didn't turn sour until a year after the divorce when she asked me for money. We had already agreed on everything and settled and she said she found more money that I owed her. It was only $1k but she took every piece of furniture, all the kitchen stuff, gardening, lawnmower, washer and dryer, art, etc.

[V_Injector]

What I want to know is...

Which one of you cheated?

[Asker]

No cheating actually!

[V_Injector]

Really? This is the first breakup I've heard of in a really long time with no cheating.

2nd guess then, sexless marriage?

[Asker]

Actually sexual intimacy was at 100%. Going by that how does a man okay to divorce his wife and still want the soon to be x-wife to be sexually available to him?
Are y’all man crazy like that? Or just a few!

I think it’s disrespectful!

[V_Injector]

We just really like vaginas.

[rosemilk]

agreeable or not, when dealing with a divorce i'd get an attorney. marriage involves the law, so it's only obvious. i mean, you could file for divorce by yourself, but... at any time, he could totally go back on his word.

[Smashingdoozy]

I think it's a good idea to at least get something in writing and witnessed. If the process has been smoothish thus far I'm sure your ex will be more than happy to oblige for both or your sakes

[Fireguy17]

yep, things can start out fine and go down the crapper quickly.
It's good to have your ducks in a row.

[HelpfulWoman]

long as its all written down, i'd choose amicable and not noticeably missing out on anything fair.

[KrakenAttackin]

If things are amicable don't involve an attorney. Remember, attorneys get paid by the hour and will stir shit up for billable hours.

[Anonymous]

You need to do that, or you could get screwed over in the courts.

[slatyb]

Not necessarily.