How long to get over ex boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I were together a little over a year. We broke up 2 1/2 months ago and I am still struggling to move on and still hope we get back together someday. Is this normal?

[superchan2011]

It really depends on how strongly you felt about your ex as well as the reason behind the breakup. If you felt strong love for your ex you may never completely get over them in the sense of not thinking about them or feeling anything, but you'll get to where you can live life again and get back to the person you were in spite of your ex no longer being in the picture. The time it takes to get to that point can vary, but you'll get there soon. Breakups are never easy, I'm currently still in the process of going through one myself and it only just recently became a bit easier to start living life again, whereas for the past 6 months since our breakup I didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to die honestly. And like me even once you start being able to live life more normally again, you will still have your ebbs and flows. the crying spells will still happen, it'll just become less with time. You just gotta let this thing run it's course and focus on working on being the best version of yourself with the help of friends and family. Try to get into hobbies, maybe focus on career pursuits or get into anything else that can occupy your time so you don't have as much time to dwell on the breakup, and when you feel like crying let yourself grieve. Don't hold it in or sweep it under the rug for the sake of putting on a brave face.

[Minnow21]

That's perfectly normal. I think many people feel that way after breaking up with someone, but that depends of how the break up went. For instance Me and my ex broke up in December, her being the one to call it off, and yet I still have a small hope that she will contact me and I'm currently debating contacting her. I can't tell you if you should contact them, but focusing on yourself and making friends isn't a bad idea to get through it. You have to decide if you want to get back with them, be friends with them, or lose contact with them. Depending on who you are as a person one of those is better for you personally, which isn't easy to figure out.

[Anonymous]

I think when people have a hard time letting go, it’s because mentally they aren’t ready. So they hold on, asking why it ended, etc. when you’re fully ready to let go- and REALLY ready- it will be easy. You have to stop focusing on the break up. Hang out with friends, do something fun. Focus on yourself. I mean that LITERALLY. Your anxiety or depression is coming from focusing on something you can’t control, which is the breakup and your ex. You have to focus on things that you can control, which is yourself and your thoughts and behaviors. As long as you’re focusing on the relationship, your ex, the break up (things you have no control over) you will never get over him or breakup.

[PeachyPie93]

It took me 16 months to get over a guy I didn't even officially date. So it depends on you how long you let the pain last. I sometimes still cry a little when I think of him because he is a reminder that I wasn't and never will be good enough.

[Caramalkisses23]

Please don’t ever think you aren’t good enough for someone. I don’t like apples but my partner does… Does that make apples less of a fruit? No. Because there are still many people whose favorite fruit is an apple. Basically sometimes not being someone type has nothing to do with u. Can u force yourself to like someone just cause? No. If they begged u just cause they were your type, can u then make yourself like them? No. Lol. All I’m saying is you’re not worth less cause someone u like doesn’t like u back. There will be other men who find u attractive.

[PeachyPie93]

@Caramalkisses23 Doubt that. There was a lot more to it than he just "didn't like me" lol. We were friends for 10 years. He told me he loves me and wants me to go see him in NY. He fucked around with my feelings for 8 months while I was saving up money to go see him. He hurt me made me feel worthless and I think it was all just because he wanted to fuck me, nothing more. So once I got hurt enough by his whoring around on IG and IRL I decided not to go and to just cut him off. I was completely in love with him, more than anybody. Yet he blamed me for everything and "for looking for other girls" and told me "fine, I don't give a fuck". LOL so its hard not to feel worthless after that.

[ManOnFire]

I experienced that same difficulty moving on at one point in my past, and I'm sure many people do. It's normal in the beginning to have a hard time letting go and moving on, because what you're thinking about is the memories and all the sweetness of the relationship, and you're mourning the loss of those things. Almost like losing a loved one.

But getting through a break up does take manual effort. It's not like other things where you can just take your mind off of it for awhile, it is a thing that you do have to work through manually. Even if it requires therapy if it's hurting you to a point of depression or anxiety.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Can you tell me Asker so I can answer this more rounded picture - why do couples 'agree' to break up in the first place? Somehow I'm always wondering how are these 'long term couples' sitting one day or just going about their days and one of them randomly pipes up says bluntly "I want to break up" or even "it's over" lol. I mean wouldn't there be days/weeks of bickering, pros, cons, or I don't get the finer details. Especially when it seems like one or the other instantly moves out and it's like, together for years and they're just like, well, okay then, even if unhappy, and I'm not suggesting to force someone to stay, I'm just amused and bemused how it's like a "wham bam thank you ma'am" arrangement of just, im over you, I've packed my stuff or grabbed what little I own, cya

[Miristheiss]

It all depends on how invested the girl was. If she was already lining up other guys and was checked out of the relationship then she is ALREADY over him. If she was madly in love and wanted to marry him and he dumped her she will be dealing with that for a long time. Maybe forever to a degree.

It is a spectrum.

[sakurayuki0629]

I'm the type of person who can move on very quickly, I had 7byears of relationship and I got over him after 3 days, my ex fiance of 1 year cheated on me and I got over him after 3 weeks.. I'm very observer person, during our relationship I observed his behaviour a lot, and imagine my life would be if I marry him.. that's the key to move on very quickly.. and don't give your whole heart.. you'll be fine

[Sonorous]

Yeah that's normal. And how long it takes will vary. Best to just focus on what's ahead unless you actually think your life would be better with them in it again.

[rosemilk]

that's pretty normal. it'll take awhile. but don't hold up your life on the small chance you'll get back together. when you're ready, move on and find someone else

[Anonymous]

2 1/2 months? I broke up 2 1/2 years ago and still can't move on. It literally crushed me. I haven't been able to socialize with people since then. I became a shut in. Still am. I don't want us to get back together. But I do want to get back the version of my who was before her.

[electromagnetic]

Give yourself lots of time. It’s not an overnight thing. Each person processes differently with different times.

[boggboss]

Its normal because u are not trying to move on as soon as u accept things are over and not getting back together is when u can start moving on

[jshm2]

No. You're too fucking clingy. He was only your boyfriend, not your husband. Quit th drama and find another ATM.

[Billlewis]

It takes only as long as it takes you to meet a guy you like better.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Usually women are onto a new guy the next day.

[laly520]

he was the trashiest guy ever

took me few hours to get over him

[Alex-Snow]

Let it go... the past is the past. Why did you break up? Were you sexually involved with him?

[WhitneySnow]

Totally normal

[DreamLife7]

He's not coming back move on

[Kristierose]

One day