Did I made the right decision by cutting contact with her?

[Anonymous]

My sister set me up with her friend, and we've been texting and talking on the phone for over 2 months now. Our conversations have been really good and entertaining. However, during these 2 months, we haven't met yet, although she has hinted that she wants us to meet. Recently, about a week ago, I started noticing a change in her behavior. She doesn't reply as quickly as she used to, her messages are getting shorter, and we don't text or talk on the phone as much as we used to. It seems like she's losing interest.

I asked her if something is wrong or if there's something bothering her, but she said no. So, I suggested that maybe we should meet since we've been texting and talking on the phone for months, but she said she's not ready yet. This made me believe that she lost interest. So, I talked to her about it because I don't want to waste my time. I told her that I noticed she seemed a little distant recently, but she denied it. I let it go.

Despite my efforts, things didn't improve in the way we communicate, and it's clear that something has changed between us.

I tried not to let it bother me, but I couldn't, so I called her and spoke to her about it for the last time. I told her that if she has changed her mind about dating, she should tell me so that I don't waste my time, but she insists that everything is fine. I don't believe her.

So, I told her that maybe it's best we cut contact because I can't deal with someone who doesn't want to meet with me after 3 months of texting and calling. I explained to her that whenever she's ready, she can contact me, and if I'm still available, we'll see.

Now I feel really sad because I really wanted it to work out with her. I'm even wondering whether I made the right decision by cutting contact with her.

Updates

1 mo

I heard from my sister that she met another guy about two weeks ago, around the same time she started acting cold towards me.

[Oliverlogan263]

It's tough man, but I think you made the right call here cutting contact. I know it's sad cuz you liked her, but she was honestly being kind of disrespectful of your time.

Like you said, you guys have been talking for months and she won't even meet up? That's a red flag right there. And losing interest and acting distant after so long, that's just not cool. You don't wanna waste more time on someone who isn't giving you the same effort.

It sucks she wouldn't just be real with you about changing her mind. But you stood up for yourself by not letting her string you along, when she clearly wasn't that into it. Better to find out now than drag it out for who knows how long.

At least you tried talking to her a few times to figure it out before giving up. You can hang your head high knowing you tried. Now just focus on meeting someone who will treat you with more respect. Don't let it get you too down—her loss, man! You'll find someone worth your time soon enough.

[Asker]

Honestly, man, thank you for this. I've been feeling sad and confused about this, but your words lifted me up. I know I'm a good man, and deep down, I know if we were to end up together, I would treat her with love and care. But I guess she didn't see all that in me, so it's her loss. And like you said, at least I tried to make it work, so I can walk away with my head held high, knowing I did my best.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah dude, don't even sweat it. Her loss completely. Any girl would be lucky to have a good dude like you who's willing to put in the effort. Her communication issues or change of heart or whatever, that's on her, nothing for you to take personally.

You put yourself out there, gave the relationship your best shot, saw it wasn't working and had the balls to end it before getting too invested. That's maturity right there. Most guys wouldn't have the self-respect to walk away once it started fizzling.

And you're absolutely right, now you can hold your head high knowing you did everything you could. Her behavior didn't reflect on you at all. Try not to dwell on it and just focus on yourself for a bit. Things have a way of working out how they're supposed to.

In no time another opportunity will come your way with someone even better who you really click with. And they'll appreciate you so much more for being a standup, communicative dude. Keep your chin up man, you got this!

[Asker]

I heard from my sister that she met another guy about two weeks ago, around the same time she started acting cold towards me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn dude, that really stings. I'm sorry to hear she started talking to another guy behind your back like that. Really shady behavior on her part. No wonder her interest in you seemed to drop off so suddenly around the same time.

Deep down you probably suspected something was up when she started acting different, but it still hurts to get confirmation like that. At least now you know for sure you dodged a bullet though - imagine if you had kept pursuing someone willing to play games like that? You deserve way better my man.

I know it still feels crappy hearing the details, but try to remember that says way more about her character than you. She's the one who decided to be dishonest and keep someone on the side instead of being straight up. Her lack of integrity is not a reflection on you at all. You did your best with what you had to work with from her.

Stay strong bro. Don't give her or this situation another thought. This chapter's closed - time to move forward towards brighter days ahead with someone deserving of your time. Better days are coming!

[joe2511]

Yes, I think you made the right decision in cutting contact with her. It seems like she is wasting your time and exploring her options. She may come back, but it'll be likely on her terms. She wouldn't let someone she was seriously interested in walk away or take months to meet. Personally, I'd move on.

[Jessica405]

Some times you have to take the initiative and cut your losses. You are right, it does seemed to have cooled. I always think that when people go cold like that, they are waiting for YOU to end it so they seem to be the innocent party.