Trying to squeeze into 2k characters. Will answer questions for more detail.
I broke up with my girlfriend in July. We were together for about 3 years, but we met 2 years before we got together. We dated for 3 months before we decided to be friends. We were best friends for 2 years, but for much of it she was trying to turn it into more but iIt took me a while to realize I was in love with her.
Finally, 3 months after walking out of my life, she came back & asked again & I agreed. I had some things I had to work through & she agreed to stick by me. We had some missteps, but this didn’t seem like just one in a long line of relationships. This was it for both of us.
But there was friction in the last year. Her bro. created problems that culminated in a big fight. We came back from it but she said in some way she wasn’t as devoted to making it work as before.
The night she ended it, she said she still loved me & wanted me in her life as a friend. We agreed I’d still walk her dog once a week.
We chit chatted over text for a week until I said I wasn’t ready to give up on us, & she shut me down. After that, when she’d try to get some friendly banter going, I’d kind of blow her off.
She started doing weird things when I got there to walk the dog — claiming she forgot I was coming or “forgetting” to leave the door unlocked 3 or 4 weeks in a row. Then a few weeks ago she tried being overly friendly. She tried joking w/ me sometimes, seemingly hoping to break down the wall I’d put up b/w us.
She unfriended me in January, but never changed her relationship status. And apparently she didn’t change it even after that.
The other night she put a pic of her “boyfriend” on IG. Yesterday, she texts me about the dog, seems irritated, picks a fight, & tells me I can’t walk him anymore & blocks my number. Didn’t block me on FB/IG. My friend tells me she still hasn’t changed her relationship status even though she still posts. Nothing about a new boyfriend on FB.
What’s she thinking?
I broke up with my girlfriend in July. We were together for about 3 years, but we met 2 years before we got together. We dated for 3 months before we decided to be friends. We were best friends for 2 years, but for much of it she was trying to turn it into more but iIt took me a while to realize I was in love with her.
Finally, 3 months after walking out of my life, she came back & asked again & I agreed. I had some things I had to work through & she agreed to stick by me. We had some missteps, but this didn’t seem like just one in a long line of relationships. This was it for both of us.
But there was friction in the last year. Her bro. created problems that culminated in a big fight. We came back from it but she said in some way she wasn’t as devoted to making it work as before.
The night she ended it, she said she still loved me & wanted me in her life as a friend. We agreed I’d still walk her dog once a week.
We chit chatted over text for a week until I said I wasn’t ready to give up on us, & she shut me down. After that, when she’d try to get some friendly banter going, I’d kind of blow her off.
She started doing weird things when I got there to walk the dog — claiming she forgot I was coming or “forgetting” to leave the door unlocked 3 or 4 weeks in a row. Then a few weeks ago she tried being overly friendly. She tried joking w/ me sometimes, seemingly hoping to break down the wall I’d put up b/w us.
She unfriended me in January, but never changed her relationship status. And apparently she didn’t change it even after that.
The other night she put a pic of her “boyfriend” on IG. Yesterday, she texts me about the dog, seems irritated, picks a fight, & tells me I can’t walk him anymore & blocks my number. Didn’t block me on FB/IG. My friend tells me she still hasn’t changed her relationship status even though she still posts. Nothing about a new boyfriend on FB.
What’s she thinking?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Dang bro, that's a messy situation. It sounds like you and your ex were really close, so the breakup must've been tough on both of you.
From the outside looking in, I think she's still figuring out her own feelings. On one hand, she says she wants to move on as just friends - but then she gets flirty with you when you see each other. That mixed signal stuff is pretty confusing.
Part of me wonders if posting about this "boyfriend" is her way of making you jealous to get a reaction. The stuff with the dog and blocking your number also seems kinda petty. Like she wants your attention but pushes you away at the same time.
It's hard because girls can be emotional creatures, you know? My advice would be try not to overanalyze all her actions. Focus on you for now - hit the gym, ball with the boys, have some fun.
If she really wants you back someday, she'll have to be straight with you about what she wants. Till then man, don't sweat it too much. Her loss - you'll find another baddie when the time's right!
Thanks man. I never overthought her actions at all because I was never in a situation where I needed to. We’ve always been very honest and straightforward with each other. But we’ve never been in this situation before, so I’ve had to be a little overanalytical.
Your answer confirms what I suspected. Girls will try to get a reaction out of you and I’ve been very careful and diligent about not giving her the reaction it seemed like she was looking for. When I saw the boyfriend post on IG I just took it at face value (she met someone else).
But it really just doesn’t make sense that she has a new boyfriend while still claiming to be in our relationship on Facebook, and I can’t make it make sense unless her “boyfriend” post on IG was a joke.
No more baddies out there for me though. She’s the only one I want, even after 9 months. I’ve gotten laid a few times since but I’m astonished at my own disinterest in female company, even in sex. And I’ve never been the type to let anyone get too close. It’s her or bust.
Damn bro, I feel you 100%. When you find that real connection it's hard to replace, even with something casual. Props to you for not taking the bait with her little games though - shows you got your head on straight.
And yeah, her whole situation sounds sketchy as hell if she's still claiming you on FB but posting this "boyfriend." Either she's tryna make YOU jealous or it's BS, period. Either way you ain't buying the act which is good.
I respect the hell out of you sticking to your guns about only wanting her even after all this time. Shows she must really be something special to have you on lockdown like that.
My advice would just be keep giving her space, but don't be afraid to shoot your shot down the line if you feel like the timing is right. Let her feel the absence and come to miss what you had. Don't rush into anything, but don't be afraid to let her know you still feel the same way when the moment seems right, ya feel me?
Stay busy working on you in the meantime. Sounds like you know what you want, and that's rare as fuck these days. She'll come around eventually bro, keep the faith! You got this.
Too much drama. Dude, you’re 40 and this sounds like some people I go to school with. Just block her and move on. Oh and get a lawyer and sue her if you really want the dog back.
To anyone who sees this: I’m not interested in opinions like this.
You’re not very creative lol
Part of being 40 is having been around long enough to know what’s immature drama and what’s normal human behavior. It’s also knowing what you want and what you don’t. Regardless of your opinion based on whatever limited info I could cram into 2000 characters, I know I want her, for better or worse. I asked this question to get others’ opinions about what she’s thinking, not whether I should want to be involved with this. I can figure that part out for myself.
You’re crazy if you want someone who gives you this much drama. Either that or you’re thinking with your dick. Hope everything works out for you guys.
Such a relief to be 18 and be able to say stuff like that in public on here!
I’m sorry. I’m in a bad mood cause I’m not feeling good. I think it’s a bad idea, but I hope you guys get together if that’s what you really want.