My friends are mad that I didn’t breakup with my boyfriend?

I told them that I’m going to breakup with him because I was heated at the moment, that he is not making time for me. Then when I had a conversation with my boyfriend and we worked it out. I have told my boyfriend before to make more time for me but I sugarcoat the other times I told him, this time he immediately jumped into action because I was straight up. Then my friends got mad and disappointed that I didn’t end it. One of these guys in the group likes me, so he was pushing me to break up with him. My girl best friend is not even talking to me right now. The guy friend is saying how my boyfriend will cheat on me and saying how he has. Then when I asked how did he cheat, he said how my boyfriend was TALKING to one of my girls friends at a party (I was at the party too) and saying that is one step away from cheating. He has NEVER cheated and will never. I am the one that started all of this, but I was so heated and vulnerable when I was talking to them. Was I in the wrong for staying? Or are they in the wrong?

Anonymous

(45 Plus)

lol they’re not being protective in my opinion. Your male friend is just trying to break the two of you up so he can get a chance at you. Your female friend is probably mad cause you don’t spend much time w her because of your man. What time you used to spend w her you’ve dedicated to him. Maybe she’s single I don’t know. Maybe she’s jealous you have someone and she doesn’t. If she’s a prone maybe she likes your boyfriend or maybe your boyfriend is better than hers. To me it all sounds like they’re mad for personal gain. Not so much having your best interest at heart. Nothing wrong w talking to another man or woman. Please tell me why he doesn’t spend much time w you? Is he always working or something? Is he hanging out more w his boys? How much time was he actually spending w you that’s why you say he’s not spending enough time w you?

Asker

1 y
I was thinking the same thing, that he is trying to get with me and bad mouth my boyfriend so that I can break up with him. My girl best friend does have a boyfriend. I spent and equal amount of time with my friends and boyfriend. My boyfriend is busy with school, his own business and family problems. He have said that he is trying his hardest and best to make time for me. I asked the guy yesterday why he didn’t like my boyfriend and this is what he said “The guy is rude to you, he doesn’t care about you unless someone he’s jealous is nearby, he clearly likes other girls while in a relationship, he only cares for u when it benefits him, he doesn’t care for how u feel or think, he doesn’t want to spend a $1 on u even if it’s as small as a Starbucks, he doesn’t care enough to show up any affection unless he’s feeling lonely, overall doesn’t care for u unless he needs it for himself. He’s selfish and isn’t capable of loving while working.” My boyfriend does spend a lot of money on me, he this one time couldn’t get me ice cream because he was worried about the money and needing to pay his family. This guy is saying how he has cheated but cannot give me an answer to that. My boyfriend have said things that were not appropriate but no one is perfect. If you want to know what he have said I can tell you.

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Opinion Owner

1 y
Yes please tell me what he said. I can see why he’d be really busy especially w school and his business. I mean sometimes you have to make a sacrifice to better things in the long run. His schooling as well as his business is most likely going to benefit you as well. I worked full-time, went to school full-time. My girl didn’t see me but two days a week, those two days were maybe 2 hours each day. That was it. Here we are 15 years later still together. Now o could see it differently if he was just out and about w his boys all the time. Even if he couldn’t spend money on you, a person would know that finances are probably tight right now. Again I think your friend is just trying to get w you. If you’re cute, definitely for sure.

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Asker

1 y
When he went to Florida and he texted me " Naked babes everywhere tanning their tits" he uncle is married and said that so he thought there was no problem with it. When prom happened this girl put her boobs in my boyfriend friends face, and he brought it up at least 3 times on how happy his friend was. He went to the gym and told me these two girls were talking about there glutes and saying who's is bigger. The he goes on saying but dw yours is bigger. The first two happen a year ago. The three was last year too but not long ago. That is very true it will benefit me. Thank you so much for saying that, I just have been hearing negative things and it makes me think negatively. I’m happy that you guys worked out it does give me hope! I get hit on often and it’s extremely annoying 🤦‍♀️ my guy friend keeps on buying me stuff and doing all these things that he claims is “being a good friend” more so trying to “win” me over.

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Opinion Owner

1 y
Well if he’s around your age he still needs to grow. I’m not excusing his behavior but I’d look at the positive things about it. He’s going to school, starting a business, etc. That’s a lot more than a lot of young boys men these days. Has he ever given you a reason to think he’s cheating? I think if you look at the good vs the bad of your relationship the good most likely sounds like it outweighs the bad. His comments may not be appropriate but he’s at a young age to where a lot of boys say stupid things like that. I don’t think those comments were to make you jealous in anyway. Just be stupid, probably didn’t think you’d get hurt by it. I think his mentality was if he says something he can’t get in trouble as opposed to if he didn’t say something then you found out he seen all these naked women you might get mad. Then you’d feel like he was hiding it from you. Even at my age I may say some things, but I’m goofy. A big part of me meeting my girl was my sense of humor, how funny I am. We’ve been together long enough she knows I’m goofing around. As for your male friend. Men only purchase things really for girls they’re into. I mean ok if he got you a soda for the hell of it, but if he’s constantly getting you things, that’s different. He’s just trying to get you to breakup w your boyfriend. If you told him you broke up w your boyfriend, then asked if he’d come over to console you, someone to “cuddle” w he’d jump on that opportunity in a heartbeat. Does he have a girlfriend?

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Asker

1 y
Ye that’s very true and I agree with you. He has never given me a reason to worry about him cheating on me. He is an amazing guy, and has changed a lot since we have met. Yes I agree for sure! Haha well that makes sense. I think It’s just something I need to get used to. He buys me food or drinks almost every time we hangout, and I would say I’m paying myself and then when it comes to paying he would sneakily buy it and he would also bring homemade food from his house to give to me. Oh yea he would probably do that. Do you think my friends are being in the wrong and do you think I should leave? Thank you so incredibly much for helping me out!

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Opinion Owner

1 y
From what you’ve said about your “friends,” I don’t think they’re very good friends at all. I think eventually they will lead you to breakup w him because of everything they’re feeding you. It’s just drama. Right now he hasn’t given me an indication that he’s cheating or would leave you. So as far as what your so called friends are saying I don’t think they’re good friends at all. Would you say you’re cute? Nice body, etc? Most men cannot be friends w a female who is cute. We tend to befriend women we’d love to screw. So you play that role, I’m her friend, no I don’t want to sleep w you. But I’m waiting for my chance if it ever comes up. That’s why for me I don’t befriend too many women at all. Maybe none of I really think about it. I have co-workers but I don’t purchase them things or go out of my way to help them. I can admit there are some cute women I work w, but no we’re just co-workers. The type of people you hang out w is usually who you become. If you hang out w 5 millionaires, chances are you’ll be that 6th millionaire. If you want to fly w the eagles kick the pigeons to the curb.

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Asker

1 y
Yes there is always drama in this group. Okay, I agree with you. Yea I think I need to start realizing that. Well I don’t know if I am cute or attractive but I do hit the gym and have a toned body. That totally makes sense, that’s probably why my boyfriend isn’t friends with his girl friends anymore. For girls it’s not the same, I can be friends with a guy and have 0 attractive or anything towards them. Well I myself have thought when I see someone randomly how he is cute but that’s it so I think that is normal. As long as there is no action taking place on those thoughts. I totally agree. I am Christian and so is my boyfriend and we pull each other closer to our beliefs. I feel my friends pull me away from my religion bc I used to never get drunk, now they are drinking almost every weekend and I do too. So the billionaire thing is the same as religion as well. Thank you!

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Opinion Owner

1 y
Yes it’s ok to se withers n think that person is cute. But a lot of times w men yes it’s she’s cute I’d love to nail her or something sexual w her. Two different mindsets. Women tend to think we men think the same as women when we really don’t. So when we’re honest it doesn’t align w what you think is the answer so then you don’t like it.
So why have you been drinking a lot?

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Asker

1 y
Oh so is that why he is watching porn? He told me 3 weeks ago that he does and feels extremely bad and hasn’t watched it since he told me. I guess I will never find a guy that doesn’t I guess think about other women sexually.
Well my friends drink and they kinda force it up on me.

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Opinion Owner

1 y
A lot of men watch porn. I will say this though, this has nothing to do w his lack of attraction to you if that’s what you’re wondering. It’s a visual thing. Variety. Not that he’s going out to seek variety. Trust me if men could turn that part off about their brains a lot of us would, including me. To me I think telling men to stop watching porn is like telling women to stop thinking w their feelings. I think where it does become a problem is if he’s doing it daily. Maybe he’d rather watch porn n jerk off to it than w you. I mean yes I’m sure he does it once in a while but if it’s always w porn, never you then it’s an issue. Also if it starts to interrupt his daily responsibilities. I hope you understand this is not a you thing. It’s not a lack of something on your part. It’s a male thing.
As for the drinking no one is forced to. That’s a decision completely on you. Maybe you were just afraid they wouldn’t be friends w you if you didn’t. Men in all honesty don’t really like women who are out there drinking, having girls nights of she’s his girl.

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Asker

1 y
Yes he did say that he wishes he can stop and that it’s not something that I’m doing wrong. I just see the girls he looks at on instagram and it’s the girl with big fake boobs with BBLs. It definitely makes me very insecure but it motivates me more to hit the gym. When he stopped doing it, he has been very affectionate and is honey around me. He himself said he has seen changes in his own today to today because he stopped.
And yes Ik, he doesn’t like when I’m drunk when there is a guy that is around me that likes me. My friends say they like a drunk me. But it’s mostly the guy that likes me that would say that and get the alcohol too and keep refilling my glass. So I did stop

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Opinion Owner

1 y
Thats good. As much as men look at girls w asses like that, the BBLs that’s not what we want. Those would be girls who are just for fun. Men want a girl who is natural. Don’t like fake tits unless again it’s just for fun. There’s so many gorgeous women in this world. It’s like walking past a candy store everyday, not being able to go in. Then one day you’re allowed to go in but you’re told you can only have one piece of candy lol yes stop the drinking. He’s definitely not a good friend getting you drunk, trying to take advantage of you. May I ask what do you do? Work? School?

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Asker

1 y
Oh okay makes sense now lol. Yes he is 100%. I did online schooling, and now looking for a job. Once I have a full time job I probably would feel so needed to have friends because I am home alone 24/7

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Opinion Owner

1 y
You only need one good friend. If you’re working
You’ll be busy, tired after work. You two live together?

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Asker

1 y
That’s true, hopefully when I start working I will meet a new friend.

Yes exactly I can not wait for that. No we are both 19 so not yet.

Reply
Opinion Owner

1 y
So if you don’t mind tell me a little about yourself. What kind of job are you looking for? I think as long as you two keep working at things things should go well. Would you say you’re sort of traditional?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

Anonymous
(45 Plus)

1 y

lol they’re not being protective in my opinion. Your male friend is just trying to break the two of you up so he can get a chance at you. Your female friend is probably mad cause you don’t spend much time w her because of your man. What time you used to spend w her you’ve dedicated to him. Maybe she’s single I don’t know. Maybe she’s jealous you have someone and she doesn’t. If she’s a prone maybe she likes your boyfriend or maybe your boyfriend is better than hers. To me it all sounds like they’re mad for personal gain. Not so much having your best interest at heart. Nothing wrong w talking to another man or woman. Please tell me why he doesn’t spend much time w you? Is he always working or something? Is he hanging out more w his boys? How much time was he actually spending w you that’s why you say he’s not spending enough time w you?

1

16 Reply
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I was thinking the same thing, that he is trying to get with me and bad mouth my boyfriend so that I can break up with him. My girl best friend does have a boyfriend. I spent and equal amount of time with my friends and boyfriend. My boyfriend is busy with school, his own business and family problems. He have said that he is trying his hardest and best to make time for me. I asked the guy yesterday why he didn’t like my boyfriend and this is what he said “The guy is rude to you, he doesn’t care about you unless someone he’s jealous is nearby, he clearly likes other girls while in a relationship, he only cares for u when it benefits him, he doesn’t care for how u feel or think, he doesn’t want to spend a $1 on u even if it’s as small as a Starbucks, he doesn’t care enough to show up any affection unless he’s feeling lonely, overall doesn’t care for u unless he needs it for himself. He’s selfish and isn’t capable of loving while working.” My boyfriend does spend a lot of money on me, he this one time couldn’t get me ice cream because he was worried about the money and needing to pay his family. This guy is saying how he has cheated but cannot give me an answer to that. My boyfriend have said things that were not appropriate but no one is perfect. If you want to know what he have said I can tell you.
  
- Opinion Owner
  
  1 y
  Yes please tell me what he said. I can see why he’d be really busy especially w school and his business. I mean sometimes you have to make a sacrifice to better things in the long run. His schooling as well as his business is most likely going to benefit you as well. I worked full-time, went to school full-time. My girl didn’t see me but two days a week, those two days were maybe 2 hours each day. That was it. Here we are 15 years later still together. Now o could see it differently if he was just out and about w his boys all the time. Even if he couldn’t spend money on you, a person would know that finances are probably tight right now. Again I think your friend is just trying to get w you. If you’re cute, definitely for sure.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  When he went to Florida and he texted me " Naked babes everywhere tanning their tits" he uncle is married and said that so he thought there was no problem with it. When prom happened this girl put her boobs in my boyfriend friends face, and he brought it up at least 3 times on how happy his friend was. He went to the gym and told me these two girls were talking about there glutes and saying who's is bigger. The he goes on saying but dw yours is bigger. The first two happen a year ago. The three was last year too but not long ago. That is very true it will benefit me. Thank you so much for saying that, I just have been hearing negative things and it makes me think negatively. I’m happy that you guys worked out it does give me hope! I get hit on often and it’s extremely annoying 🤦‍♀️ my guy friend keeps on buying me stuff and doing all these things that he claims is “being a good friend” more so trying to “win” me over.
  
- Opinion Owner
  
  1 y
  Well if he’s around your age he still needs to grow. I’m not excusing his behavior but I’d look at the positive things about it. He’s going to school, starting a business, etc. That’s a lot more than a lot of young boys men these days. Has he ever given you a reason to think he’s cheating? I think if you look at the good vs the bad of your relationship the good most likely sounds like it outweighs the bad. His comments may not be appropriate but he’s at a young age to where a lot of boys say stupid things like that. I don’t think those comments were to make you jealous in anyway. Just be stupid, probably didn’t think you’d get hurt by it. I think his mentality was if he says something he can’t get in trouble as opposed to if he didn’t say something then you found out he seen all these naked women you might get mad. Then you’d feel like he was hiding it from you. Even at my age I may say some things, but I’m goofy. A big part of me meeting my girl was my sense of humor, how funny I am. We’ve been together long enough she knows I’m goofing around. As for your male friend. Men only purchase things really for girls they’re into. I mean ok if he got you a soda for the hell of it, but if he’s constantly getting you things, that’s different. He’s just trying to get you to breakup w your boyfriend. If you told him you broke up w your boyfriend, then asked if he’d come over to console you, someone to “cuddle” w he’d jump on that opportunity in a heartbeat. Does he have a girlfriend?
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Ye that’s very true and I agree with you. He has never given me a reason to worry about him cheating on me. He is an amazing guy, and has changed a lot since we have met. Yes I agree for sure! Haha well that makes sense. I think It’s just something I need to get used to. He buys me food or drinks almost every time we hangout, and I would say I’m paying myself and then when it comes to paying he would sneakily buy it and he would also bring homemade food from his house to give to me. Oh yea he would probably do that. Do you think my friends are being in the wrong and do you think I should leave? Thank you so incredibly much for helping me out!
  
- Opinion Owner
  
  1 y
  From what you’ve said about your “friends,” I don’t think they’re very good friends at all. I think eventually they will lead you to breakup w him because of everything they’re feeding you. It’s just drama. Right now he hasn’t given me an indication that he’s cheating or would leave you. So as far as what your so called friends are saying I don’t think they’re good friends at all. Would you say you’re cute? Nice body, etc? Most men cannot be friends w a female who is cute. We tend to befriend women we’d love to screw. So you play that role, I’m her friend, no I don’t want to sleep w you. But I’m waiting for my chance if it ever comes up. That’s why for me I don’t befriend too many women at all. Maybe none of I really think about it. I have co-workers but I don’t purchase them things or go out of my way to help them. I can admit there are some cute women I work w, but no we’re just co-workers. The type of people you hang out w is usually who you become. If you hang out w 5 millionaires, chances are you’ll be that 6th millionaire. If you want to fly w the eagles kick the pigeons to the curb.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Yes there is always drama in this group. Okay, I agree with you. Yea I think I need to start realizing that. Well I don’t know if I am cute or attractive but I do hit the gym and have a toned body. That totally makes sense, that’s probably why my boyfriend isn’t friends with his girl friends anymore. For girls it’s not the same, I can be friends with a guy and have 0 attractive or anything towards them. Well I myself have thought when I see someone randomly how he is cute but that’s it so I think that is normal. As long as there is no action taking place on those thoughts. I totally agree. I am Christian and so is my boyfriend and we pull each other closer to our beliefs. I feel my friends pull me away from my religion bc I used to never get drunk, now they are drinking almost every weekend and I do too. So the billionaire thing is the same as religion as well. Thank you!
  
- Opinion Owner
  
  1 y
  Yes it’s ok to se withers n think that person is cute. But a lot of times w men yes it’s she’s cute I’d love to nail her or something sexual w her. Two different mindsets. Women tend to think we men think the same as women when we really don’t. So when we’re honest it doesn’t align w what you think is the answer so then you don’t like it.
  So why have you been drinking a lot?
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Oh so is that why he is watching porn? He told me 3 weeks ago that he does and feels extremely bad and hasn’t watched it since he told me. I guess I will never find a guy that doesn’t I guess think about other women sexually.
  Well my friends drink and they kinda force it up on me.
  
- Opinion Owner
  
  1 y
  A lot of men watch porn. I will say this though, this has nothing to do w his lack of attraction to you if that’s what you’re wondering. It’s a visual thing. Variety. Not that he’s going out to seek variety. Trust me if men could turn that part off about their brains a lot of us would, including me. To me I think telling men to stop watching porn is like telling women to stop thinking w their feelings. I think where it does become a problem is if he’s doing it daily. Maybe he’d rather watch porn n jerk off to it than w you. I mean yes I’m sure he does it once in a while but if it’s always w porn, never you then it’s an issue. Also if it starts to interrupt his daily responsibilities. I hope you understand this is not a you thing. It’s not a lack of something on your part. It’s a male thing.
  As for the drinking no one is forced to. That’s a decision completely on you. Maybe you were just afraid they wouldn’t be friends w you if you didn’t. Men in all honesty don’t really like women who are out there drinking, having girls nights of she’s his girl.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Yes he did say that he wishes he can stop and that it’s not something that I’m doing wrong. I just see the girls he looks at on instagram and it’s the girl with big fake boobs with BBLs. It definitely makes me very insecure but it motivates me more to hit the gym. When he stopped doing it, he has been very affectionate and is honey around me. He himself said he has seen changes in his own today to today because he stopped.
  And yes Ik, he doesn’t like when I’m drunk when there is a guy that is around me that likes me. My friends say they like a drunk me. But it’s mostly the guy that likes me that would say that and get the alcohol too and keep refilling my glass. So I did stop
  
- Opinion Owner
  
  1 y
  Thats good. As much as men look at girls w asses like that, the BBLs that’s not what we want. Those would be girls who are just for fun. Men want a girl who is natural. Don’t like fake tits unless again it’s just for fun. There’s so many gorgeous women in this world. It’s like walking past a candy store everyday, not being able to go in. Then one day you’re allowed to go in but you’re told you can only have one piece of candy lol yes stop the drinking. He’s definitely not a good friend getting you drunk, trying to take advantage of you. May I ask what do you do? Work? School?
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Oh okay makes sense now lol. Yes he is 100%. I did online schooling, and now looking for a job. Once I have a full time job I probably would feel so needed to have friends because I am home alone 24/7
  
- Opinion Owner
  
  1 y
  You only need one good friend. If you’re working
  You’ll be busy, tired after work. You two live together?
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  That’s true, hopefully when I start working I will meet a new friend.
  
  Yes exactly I can not wait for that. No we are both 19 so not yet.
  
- Opinion Owner
  
  1 y
  So if you don’t mind tell me a little about yourself. What kind of job are you looking for? I think as long as you two keep working at things things should go well. Would you say you’re sort of traditional?
  
rosemilk Follow
Guru Age: 34 , mho 35%

1 y
712 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.

never ever tell your friends about your relationship or about your relationship problems. everrrrr. those things should only be discussed with your boyfriend. always.
you don't have to, but you could just say "i shouldn't have blown up around you guys and i should have only worked this out with him. and now we have. so issue solved and we're happy" end
as for the cheating, ask them to give actual proof or stay out of a relationship that they're not even in.
just next time, keep your love life PRIVATE

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0 Reply
Starrrboy Follow
Xper 6 Age: 28

1 y

Well, they're being protective because he's a stranger to them and they see you getting upset and almost breaking up.. so, you can't really blame them.. you'd probably do the same.. and, let's be real.. when friends don't like your S. O and keep warning you about them, 90% of the time they end up being correct lol.. just give it some time..

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4 Reply
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I totally understand that and did say that to them. But they are pushing me. Yes that is true but I have made bigger mistakes in this relationship than he has and they know that. I forgive people, but my friends hold grudges. So I don’t know if this would work
  
- Starrrboy
  
  1 y
  Yeah, honestly this is too much.. I feel anxious just by reading it lol.. maybe just stop explaining yourself to ANYONE and just answer them yeah, we'll see!..
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I have been anxious for 24 hours now. That’s very true I keep explaining myself 🤦‍♀️ thank you I need that
  
- Starrrboy
  
  1 y
  Good luck with it 👍