On a break with my fiancé. How do I keep from going back?

[Anonymous]

I have broken things off with my fiancé.

Long story short, we have been together for nearly four years but lately I have felt like I’m losing feelings. For example, I haven’t felt as attracted to him and I feel like the spark between us has gone. He can be very lovely but then he has stopped being romantic altogether and prioritises his family who have treated him badly in the past over me.

The final straw was this week when he left me alone at a family party to go off with his brother in his car to pick up his nephews. This brother owes him thousands of pounds and refuses to pay him back. A family photo was also taken and my fiancé just left me stood at the back looking like where’s Wally and even his dad stood right in front of me.

So my question really is, now I’ve gone, why is he suddenly messaging me and telling me how much he loves me and messing with my head. Why did he start treating me badly and how can I stop myself from going back?

I’ve had to move back home with my folks so now I’m utterly miserable

[Anonymous]

first you say on a break. then you say broken things off. which is an actual break up. then you still call him your fiance. he's your ex. you broke up. there is no "on a break"

i sure hope you talked to him about how you felt and how he made you felt. maybe you could have fixed things

it sounds like to me that he thinks he can always get you back no matter what because of the long history. and then having to start all over again with someone else, he probably doesn't want to put in the effort to do so. so he'd rather just go back with you?

this needs to be more of a clean break. say what you want to say to him and then completely cut him clean off with no contact. and move on

[Asker]

Yes I told him exactly how I felt and all of my concerns about how things had just not been working.
I’ve had some very tough times recently and I won’t go into details but I’ve been down and depressed which is why I said I needed a break. I’m not really getting the break I wanted because I’m still getting messages off him asking how I am etc.
I’ve written a list to remind myself of the reasons I broke things off so I can just go back to that and try not to waver.
He has a tendency to be lazy and I damn sure made his life a lot easier. He leant on me a lot so that will be hard for him but I need to think about what is best

[Nikki1989]

You don't go back, period.

[Avicenna]

If you know you don't want anything more with him, let the guy go and get on with your lives.

[Pterodon]

Just know if you go back you’ll be getting back into the same thing

[strateguy632]

because he really missed you but block him.

[In_Trance]

"break" is retarded.
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